How to develop empathy! Some of you really need it!!!
Iâm making this post because Iâve met a lot of people who lack empathy in one-on-one interactions that lead them to having toxic relationships and they wonder what went wrong. Empathy isnât something one is born with, itâs definitely a skill anyone can develop if they really wish to, some are better at it and some are going to have to try harder, and thatâs probably based on childhood conditioning.
Iâm gonna list some tips and ways to help you develop empathy, if you want to add more, go head!
Not everything is about you. Understand that it is okay to talk about yourself with others but when itâs the only way you communicate with them, youâre basically using them as an emotional outlet. Learning that other people feel things like you do is important in knowing how to handle other peopleâs feelings. So when someone vents to you about something, DO NOT inject yourself into their situation or make it a pity party about who has it worse. You can relate and say âI understand,â and if possible and if they asked, offer a way to help them cope and deal with their situation.
Be considerate of who youâre speaking to. Consider what youâre saying to someone else, is it harmful or is it helpful? Is it needed? Always ask yourself if you need to say what youâre saying. Ask yourself âDo they feel like talking to me right now?â and âAm I intruding?â or âAm I being a bother and theyâre too nice to tell me?â or âAre they going through something difficult and they donât need to be burdened with my problems?â
Be attentive and listen and respond to what the other is saying. Reflect upon the way you listen to other people. If youâre immediately taking what theyâre talking about personally, youâre not listening. If you listen with a selfish intent, youâre not listening. Itâll take time to detach from this stigma, but just imagine if you were in their situation, think of what youâd want to be told, and say that to them. Your body language is important too, nod and make eye contact while listening. DO NOT be dismissive of their feelings or a situation they opened up to you about.
Show you care. Remember things the other tells you about themselves. Anything from their favorite color to their favorite quote. This may not come as easy for some because some are still conditioned to be selfish, so the best way to do this is write it down. Whatever helps you remember, do it. This will make the other feel heard and understood by you, making you develop a stronger bond.
Make some your own inside jokes and send each other memes and music. The inside jokes are another way for you two to share a moment and appreciate it with humor. Humor and music can ease the air and not make it so tense.