secrets' garden

dina | 23 | she/they | survivor ASKS:OPEN | NOT A PROFESSIONAL!

[csa-suggestions]

dad

[borderlinebitchin]

do you know who you are?

do you know what has happened to you?

do you want to live this way?

[csa-suggestions]

i have used MDMA for CPTSD using the test protocol with a sober friend and had huge improvements

thank you for letting me know!! if youre willing to discuss further id be more than greatful 😌 but its okay if youd like to keep your anonymity!

[csa-suggestions]

has anyone here used psychedelic therapy to help process trauma / did ?

[borderlinebitchin]

anyone have an experience with going to the hosptial as an adult they are willing to share? ive only ever gone as a minor, but recently ive been really struggling. it would be extremely helpful if youve gone as a minor and as an adult so you can weigh your different experiences, but i would love input from anyone at all.

[csa-suggestions]

So my cousin talked me into doing stuff (no further than oral) when I was like 7 or 8. I'm 18 now, and still get turned on by what happened and thus my cousin in that scenario, and by extension I find myself turned on by people far younger than myself. I'd never ever do anything with anyone younger than me but like?? The thought is still there...

as long as you never cross the line into someone underage, its okay to want an age difference. i like dating and being with people a bit older than me due to my trauma, but in an appropriate age range. i find myself turned on by parts of my trauma and people involved too, its a normal reaction, but stay safe and avoid those people whove hurt you.

[csa-suggestions]

dad

[csa-suggestions]

my boyfriend broke up with me. its scary to think now that if i want another actual relationship im going to have to disclose my trauma to them if i want to feel safe. and i hate the process of it. i hate that i have this trauma to talk about. i hate that itll affect every single relationship i have with other people.

[flowersandrainboots]

sticks and stones may break my bones but words can heal my bruises

- something therapy taught me

[csa-suggestions]

i havent been on this account in a while. im having a really rough time lately with my DID and trauma memories. i honestly dont know if i will make it much longer

[exhaustedborderline]

This was very very painful to write

[thoradvice]

if your dad is abusive, or unaccepting, or anything else, you don’t have to celebrate father’s day. you don’t have to love someone who has hurt you, just because he’s your parent. people will say “but he’s your dad!”, but it truly doesn’t matter. it’s your decision to allow your father in your life. whether you celebrate the holiday or not, i hope you have a wonderful sunday.

[csa-suggestions]

i just relapsed and its the fucking summer and now i cant swim or wear shorts and i just want to die

[csa-suggestions]

Hey, are you doing okay? You haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd check in.

hey dear, thank you for checking in love. im doing okay, im having interpersonal relationship problems and im just trying to get through it right now. i recently started therapy with a DID specialist and that had also been weighing me down a ton. hopefully i will be posting regularly again soon.

[the-unlucky-thirteen]

A way my therapist has told me to approach childhood trauma is thinking about the child who went through the traumatising ordeal. You may resent yourself for not fighting back, not doing enough, or not running away, but you need to see the young child who was there, the one who needed protection, not persecution

[csa-suggestions]

does it still count as csa even if he didn't touch me in any typically inappropriate areas but what he did still had very sexual overtones and things he was saying made it clear it was sexual, for him?

yes, this would be nccsa. im sorry my dear.

[csa-suggestions]

// Please help me I’ve had a pee fetish since I was literally a toddler and I was obsessed with touching myself then. I’m now extremely hyper sexual but also scared of sex and even hugging my SO. I get really nervous when my SO brings up their cocsa trauma and when they make jokes about sexual abuse or sexual things. Is this normal? I’m so confused

this is normal yes, and i suggest talking with your partner about not speaking about trauma in front of you currently, because it triggers you. i feel like you would benefit from a therapist, possibly trauma therapist, im unsure if they specialize in hypersexuality as well.