looked in the wrong place for redemption

Indie Multimuse penned by Pike || low activity || read rules and muse pages first

[sadnessruns]

Pinned Post: Hi! I’m Leo or Pike (he/they) and this is my selective multimuse! 

I have canon and OC muses here from Star Trek, Legend of Zelda, Rent, and several OCs! Many of my muses have crossover verses and AUs. 

This blog is low-activity and runs off of the queue (one post a day) since I am a busy person with a lot going on in my life. 

I try to be drama free so please let me know if something I do makes you uncomfortable, I’m all about communication and being open. 

Please feel free to browse my links here! 

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[sadnessruns]

OOC—-

trying to be around is harder than I thought lmao BUT I’m having lots of thoughts about all my darling muses today I miss everyone

I’m deleting all my drafts and I wanna start some new threads so i come back checking this blog often

[sadnessruns]

OOC---

[pikeconstellation]

Hey tumblr! I'm opening commissions again!

My student loan payments have kicked in and man are they expensive. Unfortunately, job hunting is a pain and I'm waiting to hear back from several potential employers so I'm looking for a little extra money to help pay my other expenses in the mean time.

All info can be found at my commission prices, terms, and example site here!

If interested, reach out to me on my blog's DMs or through an ask!

[sadnessruns]

OOC—

Haven’t been here for. A lot of reasons. But man the disco finale. Man. I’m gonna love disco forever.

Mutuals message me about it if ya wanna chat. I’ll be around soon I’m sure.

[t-rina]

space aunt and space dad

5x4 Face the Strange

[itberice]

Paul Stamets & Hugh Culber I Star Trek: Discovery

[neonprotagonist]

i have a lot to say about time loop stories in general but above all else the thing that never fails to get to me the most is that one. single. character. who remembers everything. who knows that theyre trapped. and its been so long that they maybe just feel resigned to the fact that theyre never to wake up to a day where they dont know every single event that plays out. theyre tired. and maybe theyve mastered it, theyve perfected each and every action and still havent broken the cycle. that hurts. that hurts. 

[official-time-loop-posts]

Official Time Loop Post

[kiksniko]

doing anything while being stuck in a time loop is pointless to YOU.. i'm gonna keep trying to save my one and true love who's doomed by the narrative till kingdom come

[fazfacts]

TIME LOOP SENTENCE STARTERS!

quotes from "groundhog day" and "happy death day;" feel free to change as needed!

FROM THE PERSON STUCK IN THE LOOP:

❝ Didn't we do this yesterday? ❞

❝ Don't mess with me. What day is this? ❞

❝ Sorry. I'm having a bad day. ❞

❝ I'm feeling a little strange. ❞

❝ Have you ever had déjà vu? ❞

❝ I've got to talk to you. I think I'm losing my mind. ❞

❝ Can I be serious with you for a minute? ❞

❝ I'm being serious. ❞

❝ I'm having a problem -- no, I may be having a problem. ❞

❝ I'm trying to say that if I was having a problem, just hypothetically, I'd like to know that you're someone I could count on in a crisis. ❞

❝ Just trust me. ❞

❝ I've done it before. ❞

❝ I'm talking about today. I lived it before. ❞

❝ I know it's nuts, but I keep reliving the same day over and over. ❞

❝ This is the third time. ❞

❝ I'm not making it up. I'm asking for your help. ❞

❝ I'd like you to spend the next 24 hours with me. Don't leave my side for a second. ❞

❝ You're saying this thing is not really happening to me? ❞

❝ Are you saying I'm crazy? ❞

❝ What would you do if there was no tomorrow? ❞

❝ I don't worry about anything anymore. ❞

❝ I have a life wish. I'm just trying to enjoy it. ❞

❝ I know you won't believe me, but we could do anything we want today and it wouldn't matter one bit. ❞

❝ I've already been here for 211 days. ❞

❝ There's got to be more to it than this. ❞

❝ If you only had one day to live, what would you do with it? ❞

❝ I've been planning this day for weeks. ❞

❝ But there is no tomorrow for me! ❞

❝ I can't stand this place anymore! ❞

❝ Just remember, we had a wonderful day together once. ❞

❝ I'm a God. ❞

❝ It's the only explanation. I'm a supernatural human being. ❞

❝ I always wake up the next day without a scratch, without even a headache. I'm telling you, I'm immortal. ❞

❝ I want you to believe in me. ❞

❝ I told you the truth. ❞

❝ In five seconds, there's going to be a grease fire in the kitchen. ❞

❝ Please believe me. You've got to believe me. ❞

❝ It's not that bad. You get used to it. ❞

❝ The worst part is waking up every day. Tomorrow, you won't remember any of this. ❞

❝ It doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't. ❞

❝ It's not true. It's not. It can't be true. ❞

❝ You're here! My god! I can't believe you're here! ❞

❝ It's happened! Don't you get it? It's tomorrow! ❞

❝ Did I just dream it? ❞

❝ What day is it? ❞

❝ I'm totally having déjà vu right now. ❞

❝ I'm having a weird day. ❞

❝ This can't be happening...this can't be real! ❞

❝ This is a nightmare. ❞

❝ I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm so confused. ❞

❝ This isn't going to make any sense, but I've already lived through this day. Twice. ❞

❝ I know! It's not possible, but it's happening! I swear to God! ❞

❝ Nobody told me! Don't you see? I know what's going to happen before it happens! ❞

❝ I'm reliving the same day over and over. ❞

❝ Oh my God...make it stop. Please, make it stop. ❞

❝ Nobody believes me. ❞

❝ I'm sorry. I'm just...going through a lot right now. ❞

❝ I'll explain everything tomorrow...assuming there is one. ❞

❝ No...this can't be happening. This can't be happening! ❞

FROM THOSE NOT IN THE LOOP:

❝ I don't get what you mean. ❞

❝ I know you're losing it. ❞

❝ What is this? ❞

❝ Are you drunk? ❞

❝ What are you trying to say? ❞

❝ Yesterday? What are you talking about? ❞

❝ You're having déjà vu? ❞

❝ Uh-huh. I'm waiting for the punchline. ❞

❝ I'm racking my brain, but I can't even begin to imagine why you'd make up something like this. ❞

❝ Okay, I'll bite. What do you want me to do? ❞

❝ Have you considered psychiatric help? ❞

❝ I'd say that maybe you're, I don't know, a little delusional. ❞

❝ What makes you so special? ❞

❝ You really do have a death wish, don't you? ❞

❝ That's quite a long time, isn't it? ❞

❝ Is this real, or are you just going to make me look like a fool? ❞

❝ It's sort of like the way I feel about UFOs. I'd have to see it to believe it. ❞

❝ There's something so familiar about this. Do you ever have déjà vu? ❞

❝ Do you really expect me to trust you? ❞

❝ Are you alright? You look terrible. ❞

❝ What are you doing? What are you thinking? ❞

❝ For a minute there, I thought you might be crazy. ❞

❝ Why are you telling me this? ❞

❝ It's not possible. ❞

❝ This is nuts. ❞

❝ Okay, enough. Let's just sit down and think for a second. ❞

❝ How are you doing this? ❞

❝ How did this start? ❞

❝ It sounds so...lonely. ❞

❝ Is this what you do with eternity? ❞

❝ Have we done this before? ❞

❝ Maybe it's not a curse. It all just depends on how you look at it. ❞

❝ Hold it right there. I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now. ❞

❝ This is too much. I must be dreaming. ❞

❝ There's something going on with you. ❞

❝ You must've had some dream. ❞

❝ Wow. Have you been here before? ❞

❝ You were acting really weird this morning. ❞

❝ Just calm down and start from the beginning. ❞

❝ Okay, I get it. Who put you up to this? ❞

❝ You're starting to freak me out. ❞

❝ What's wrong? Are you sick? ❞

❝ Maybe I can help. ❞

❝ You literally think you're reliving the same day? ❞

❝ Come on. You're just messing with me, right? ❞

❝ I'm just trying to work this whole thing out. ❞

❝ I guess it's kinda like that movie, "Groundhog Day," only you're not Bill Murray. ❞

❝ If I were you, I would stop trying to figure out how it's happening and start figuring out why. ❞

❝ There has to be a reason you're stuck in this day. ❞

❝ You probably just had a bad dream. It happens to me whenever I drink too much. ❞

[sadnessruns]

[ @fleetcaptian for time shenanigans ]

"I'm not supposed to-- you're-- Fuck--" Stop. Think. Take a breath, Stamets. This is Pike. You know Pike. You can trust Pike. "Hi. Good to uh... see you again... Please don't ask about the uniform."

[sadnessruns]

STARTER CALL -> Paul Stamets

oh you know you want some time travel shenanigans you know you love time shenanigans

[sadnessruns]

OOC—-

Just finished the new disco episode in the morning I’m gonna put out a spoilery starter call just fyi I’m having thoughts again

[rpmemes-galore]

Halsey — Badlands Album  {Sentence Starters}

“Survival of the richest.”

“I don’t like them innocent.”

“And he told me I was holy.”

“I like the sad eyes, bad guys.”

“I probably shouldn’t be so mean.”

“I want more, this is what I live for.”

“I remember the fear in your eyes.”

“I’m the violence in the pouring rain.”

“Would it really kill you if we kissed?“

“Yes, I’ll admit that I’m a fool for you.”

“I found God… I found him in a lover.”

“They can’t believe I made you weak.”

“You say that you’re no good for me…”

“You can’t wake up, this is not a dream.”

“You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise.”

“I don’t have to fucking tell you anything.”

“I found the Devil… I found him in a lover.”

“And there’s a storm you’re starting, now.“

“I’m begging you to keep on haunting me.”

“I’m helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine.”

“I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.”

“Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine.”

“Goddamn right, you should be scared of me.”

“Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown.”

“I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut.”

“But, the ending is the same every damn time.”

“I’m searching for something that I can’t reach.“

“Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?“

“Don’t belong to no city. Don’t belong to no man.”

“Art is not what I create… what I create is chaos.”

“You’ve got a fire inside, but your heart’s so cold.”

“They rush me, telling me I’m running out of time.”

“What happened to the soul that you used to be?“

“'Cause I’ve done some things that I can’t speak…”

“They shush me, walking me across a fragile line.”

“All we do is think about the feelings that we hide.”

“Do you remember the taste of my lips that night?”

“I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old.”

“My demons are begging me to open up my mouth.”

“I know I’ve only felt religion when I’ve lied with you.”

“Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise.”

“You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece.”

“You are part of a machine, you are not a human being.”

“Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it.”

“They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce.”

“Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised.”

“Didn’t know where I was running to, but I won’t look back.”

“And all the kids cried out, ‘Please stop, you’re scaring me’.”

“You put a fever inside me and I’ve been cold since you left.”

“I know you want to go to heaven, but you’re human tonight.”

“I’m hoping you could save me, now, but you break and fold.”

“Already choking on my pride, so there’s no use crying about it.”

“You were a vision in the morning when the light came through.”

“If you want to break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised.”

“And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. My mind’s like a deadly disease.”

“You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn’t for you.”

“I’m bigger than my body. I’m colder than this home. I’m meaner than my demons. I’m bigger than these bones.”

[sadnessruns]

Headcanon: Paul Stamets. -> re: Justin Straal

I think a lot about Paul's relationships, it's something about him that's always fascinated me. He's very closed off in season one, the first person we know who he has a positive connection to is his buddy Justin Straal. Straal works with him on the spore drive, but they've been split up and Straal works on the Glenn.

They fundamentally don't agree about the mushroom storage question, but they are very much seen as friends who have worked together for a long time. In the first Discovery annual we see that they are very friendly with each other but do tend to disagree on some things. Like their terraforming projects and how to go about developing the spore drive. I like to think Paul likes this in a research partner, someone who will push back and challenge him. He doesn't need people to disagree with him but he likes a good challenge.

Straal is his balance. That's what his friend has always been. Straal is open with his feelings, open with how he thinks about Paul. Paul allows himself to be honest and open with Straal, even so far as joking with him. When Paul wants to test the transporter capabilities of the spore drive on himself in the comic, Straal won't let him do it alone. He won't let Paul die alone.

In Dead Endless we see a lot more of their relationship. Straal is just as fiercely protective of Paul as Paul is of him. Straal gives Hugh the shovel talk, he hugs Paul tightly when he realizes his friend is alive. But another thing comes up, Straal is said to be just as much of an asshole and pessimistic as Paul, he just puts on a better-presenting face.

All of this to say, they're fiercely connected. They're like brothers.And that's where 1x03 makes a big stand out to me. Paul is only informed of Straal's death, given no time to grieve, just told to recover everything he can and leave. He can't even bring Straal's body home. It's devastating to him but we never see the emotional fallout of it. We never see the fallout of Paul having to leave Justin behind in the past, knowing everything they've ever done will be classified. And when Hugh dies, he doesn't have his best friend to lean on. He's lost his two most important people.

I think Paul has grieved Straal more than he knows. More than he'll ever care to admit. Straal died because of their own hubris, because of their own creation. I think Paul blames himself to some degree for it. This is their work, the work he survived testing of, even if he wasn't fully himself anymore.

The spore drive is the only thing that remains of Straal. It's being decommissioned in the future, a future where no one knows that Straal has worked on it beyond those on the Discovery's crew. Paul has no legacy now. Straal has even less, his death is redacted to high hell. I think that hurts Paul more than he realizes.

Paul thinks about Straal, wishes he could be there, wishes how his best friend could see everything. Reno is a good substitute with a similar personality, but she's no Straal. No one has been there for Paul like Justin has. Justin is the only one besides Hugh and his sister who truly understands him.

Paul has mourned him a million times in small ways, in big ways, in sobs and tears, in moments of solace, in moments of joy.

Justin Straal is his other half, a half long gone and returned to stardust. All while Paul continues to live.

And man, it fucking hurts.

[sadnessruns]

OOC---

going for a walk but then after I'm writing a paragraphs long headcanon about paul and straal don't fucking looking at me i think about their friendship literally 24/7. underused character fr. like he only shows up in a book and a comic besides the one episode where he dies? and he's the only person paul likes explicitly at the beginning of season 1 besides hugh??? fucking shame.

[gaydelgard]

Yeah, I'm still buried in the mud

Skin and bones and brains and blood