“GURUJI AND I”. By Waheeda Rehman.
I could not have accepted a more difficult and delicate role than writing an article on Mr. Guru Dutt. Difficult because he was a much misunderstood man; and delicate because———-well, because Waheeda Rehman is writing about Guru Dutt.
An extremely sensitive, quiet and complex person like him could not but be misunderstood. He was so quiet that his modesty or rather shyness, could be misinterpreted as arrogance. He hardly spoke a sentence or two when I met him for the first time in 1955. That meeting appeared to be just a coincidence; but destiny must have known that my days were changed.
“Days are changed” translated in Telugu, the language of my first movie, would be “Rojula Maraie”, my first film. It had completed it’s 100th day run in Hyderabad. Mr. Guru Dutt happened to be in Hyderabad at that time and had seen a big crowd outside the theatre. He was probably told that one of the artistes of the movie, who had only given a dance in the film, spoke to the audience in the theatre in Urdu. Later at a party given by the exhibitor he was also present there and I was introduced to him. I had not seen his movies or even heard his name till then; I did not know who he was. In fact I did not give any importance to that meeting and forgot all about it. But he did not.
About two or three months later, one afternoon a fat man who called himself Manubhai Patel wanted to meet me at my residence. He said that Mr. Guru Dutt would like to see me and I should go to Bombay for two or three days.
I met him in Bombay at his office in Famous Cine Building in June 1955. He was quietly sitting and watching me while most of the talking was done by director Raj Khosla, production-controller Guruswamy and writer Abrar Alvi. That was my second meeting with him.
The result of that meeting was a contract for three years. For the first year I was to be paid Rs. 1,200/- per month. While the contract was being typed he asked me, “Are you not happy”?
“I will be happy when I am satisfied with my costumes” I said.
“Don’t worry, all the costumes will be to your satisfaction and you won’t be forced to put on the dress which you don’t like. Is it all right”? he asked.
“It will be alright, if it is mentioned in the contract” I said.
“Don’t you believe me”? he asked.
“Well it is not that. But don’t you think it would be better if you put this in the agreement?” I suggested.
A clause stating that the costumes will be to the liking of the artiste was included in the agreement; and I told my mother “Yes they are nice people”.
Later Raj Khosla, Abrar Alvi and Guruswamy congratulated me for being signed by such a “big director-producer and a very nice man” but warned me not to be disturbed when he sometimes loses his temper.
“Do you mean he loses his temper also?” I asked them.
“Well sometimes; but he does not mean anything. He is a very good man”.
“If he does that with me, I won’t work and would go back to Hyderabad” I also warned them.
Some persons are of an aggressive type; they are always talking about whatever they intend to do or seem to think. It is very easy to understand them, to describe them. But Guruji was extremely introvert. There would be a turmoil going on inside him but he won’t express it. In fact the more he worked or thought the less he spoke. As a result, so little was known about him and what went on inside his mind that he could be understood only by studying his reactions to particular situations—-if at all those reactions could be observed.
That is why in this article when I want to describe him, his reactions to particular situations, I happen to be writing more about me and the problems I created for him.
Yes I did create quite a few problems for him and perhaps any other producer would have never tolerated it. But he was a different man; another like him I haven’t met again.
Once I refused to put on a particular dress in “C.I.D.”, my first film with Guru Dutt Films. The shot was ready, the artistes were waiting and one by one, Guruswamy, Raj Khosla and others were trying to convince me that there was nothing bad in the dress; but I said only one thing, “I don’t like this dress”.
One of them said, “Listen, this is your first movie, if you start objecting to these minor things no other producer will sign you”.
“Then let them not sign me; but I will not put on this dress. Get me another” I said.
Two or three days later, when Guruji returned to Bombay, he was informed that he had signed a very difficult girl.
“I am told that you created some trouble about that dress”, he asked me.
“Yes. It was not decent”, I said. That was all we talked about it. He did not like to argue unnecessarily about anything. However I did see him losing his temper sometimes.
Both “C.I.D.” and “Pyaasa” were being shot simultaneously at Kardar Studios; and he had advised me to come and sit on the sets and watch the shooting when I had nothing else to do. One day I saw him losing his temper on a senior artiste and I was really shocked. That day I told him, “You don’t shout at me like this, otherwise I will quit, I can’t face it.
“I have told you I won’t lose my temper with you. Now don’t worry” he said.
“Yes you better don’t “I insisted and explained, “I don’t know acting. You teach me, tell me what to do and I will try to do my best; but don’t get angry with me”.
He did not get angry with me, even in the most trying circumstances.
The shot of “Pyaasa”, when I come running down the staircase and speak a dialogue was taken twenty times, and every time I failed. By the time I came running down the staircase I was too exhausted to speak the dialogue. He noticed it, came and told me that I should take rest for some time; but I was not prepared to admit that I was tired and the shot could not be okayed till lunch break. But he did not seem to be angry at all.
After the lunch I had to give 14 more takes, till the 34th take was okayed. Perhaps a record for me; and also a record of the patience of Guruji.
He was a very complicated and contradictory person. He would lose his temper, particularly on the set, if anything went wrong; and at the same time he did not lose his temper on me, even if things went wrong. He was extremely impatient and yet he had shown extra-ordinary patience in many matters. He was a man who enjoyed every moment of the work of creation and yet at the same time he admired death, loved it, idolised it and wanted to destroy himself. That was Guruji.
Like all great directors he had a keen sence of observation; he knew his artistes very well and also knew how to take the best work from them.
My acting in “C.I.D.” was not good and my work done on the first set of “Pyaasa” was also disappointing. Everybody said that I was a wrong choice and had no future. Moreover I was a difficult person, also extremely stubborn, who would not put on this or that dress. But the only one person who seemed to have faith in my abilities was Guruji. But for him I would not have been what I am today. After hearing the remarks of everybody he said only one thing, “Let us try her once again”.
The next schedule of “Pyaasa” was fixed outdoors at Calcutta where he shot for about 20 days. That song of “Jane Kya Toone Kahi, Jane Kya Maine Suni” was picturised there.
He was very happy when he saw the rushes of that shooting.
Everyone had liked my work and said so. They had changed their opinions.
Like Guruji most of the persons around him were very frank. No one ever had to praise him for taking a good shot or picturising a sequence, as appears to be a fashion in quite a few units. When they did not like something they said so without any fear or hesitation and he always listened to them, whether he followed their suggestions or not. Most of the time he did whatever he wanted, whatever he liked. If he did not like a scene or a song picturisation he would scrap and re-shoot it.
Sometimes he did not like himself and just wanted to be dead, to scrap himself off. He used to say “What is there in life except success or failure; one of the two must happen and I have seen both : there is no charm in living any more”. A song of “Pyaasa” (”Yeh duniya agar milbhi jaye o kya hai?”) was so typical of his thinking.
Usually people who are fed up with life are fed up with work also; but not Guru Dutt. He was an extremely devoted film-maker till his last days. Either he was trying to create something or talking of those who wanted to create something or else he was brooding and thinking of death. He seemed to enjoy the very thought of it.
Very little could really be known about him, about what went on in his mind, only a fraction of it could be seen outside.
He had faith in God, he believed Him; but I don’t remember that he ever visited a temple or any other place to worship or pray for something. Only once in his life he had asked me to pray for the success of a movie. It was neither “Pyaasa” nor “Kaagaz Ke Phool” nor any other of his own movies. It was B.R.Films’ “Kanoon”.
“But why do you want me to pray for the success of “Kanoon”? You have nothing to do with it”. I asked him.
“At least someone is trying to make a movie without songs, which I could not. If he is successful, someone else could be inspired to go a step ahead. You must pray for the success of this film without songs”, said Guruji, who was considered one of the best directors for picturising songs.
He was not a man who would be jealous of anybody’s success or prosperity. On the contrary he enjoyed their success, he loved his fellow beings, wanted to do his best for them.
He was a great lover, he loved his work, he loved his fellow-beings, he loved his creations and loved death too.
Why did he love death, why did he eulogise it, considered it to be the most pleasant thing of the world? God had given him everything except contentment. He was never satisfied and I think he knew that he would never be satisfied and that life will remain for him nothing more than a chain of successes and failures. Perhaps that is why he tried to find in death whatever he could not find in life, an end, a perfection, a contentment where he will not feel the pain of discontentment.
I do not know whether his death was an accident or something else. But I had a feeling that nothing could have saved him, he did not want to be saved.
Many times I explained to him that no one could ever get everything in life——for that even death is not a solution; but he was a perfectionist, who could not be easily satisfied. Perhaps he refused to accept that life can never be perfect. He wanted to get everything.
Sometimes you want to do something for someone; but with all your best intentions and sincerity you just cannot do it. There are things that are destined, there are some patterns of life that cannot be broken, you simply cannot change them. We must accept them or else destroy ourselves.
He refused to accept those patterns drawn by Destiny and destroyed himself. His death may have been just an accident; but I know that he had always wished for it, longed for it…………and he got it.
In his death the film industry has lost a great director, humanity has lost a man of compassion and I have lost a great friend who had made the first and the greatest contribution to my success as a film artiste. I will always be grateful to him for this. I could not save him; but I sincerely wished that I could…………or at least that someone else could.
But who can say that even if he was saved, his life would not have been more painful than death for him? Whatever God does is for our good only. He knows what is best for us. As Rabindranath Tagore has said:
“We cannot choose the best,
His death has been a great loss to us; but whatever happened was perhaps best for him! That is the only consolation left.
(The above article was published in a special issue of “JOURNAL OF FILM INDUSTRY” dated November 17th, 1967.)
Source: “Guru Dutt, A Monograph” by Firoze Rangoonwalla, National Film Archive of India, 1973
