No title available
NASA
RMH
if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
titsay
sheepfilms
Kiana Khansmith
Stranger Things
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Mike Driver
oozey mess
ellievsbear
roma★
will byers stan first human second
noise dept.
No title available
wallacepolsom
izzy's playlists!
Show & Tell
seen from Netherlands
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
@sailedships
She said: "promise me you wont give up on me"
Him: "I promise"
Her: forgets to realize, that doesn't mean he would accept bare minimum effort, or disrespect.
Him:"Im sorry, I intended to keep that promise, until you forced my hand to break it"
It was all based on what you did with that freedom.
Just remember. I never chose this.
Your actions lead to my decision.
We were both broken,
in different kinda ways,
I never meant for it to happen
I never wanted to be enstranged,
I wanted to give you the world,
even if it was only a day,
Just to see that smile once more
As it lights the whole place,
We've done enough damage,
And We've both had to pay,
Now please just come home,
So we can turn the next page.
💜TB<3WL
Yeah i miss us. But not the way we became with eachother.
Youll always be my love. Even from a distance.
#sadtruth #hardpilltoswallow
Today is a day like any other. How fortunate I am for the sun and beautiful weather. I have Weslynn and Nyxi, both of my beautiful daughters as company. I sit and try to find peace between the screams and clatter of toys being shuffled through. My thoughts racing, as my motivation depletes. Im conscious and yet i feel blank, Numb if you will. Im trying to stay positive and be the rock for my family. They need me, as much as I need them.
My significant other is temporarily absent as I write by the way. I sit and think , damn, I truly do love that girl. Id take a bullet for her. I try my hardest to be the man she needs but lately I feel inadequate. There are many unusual feelings coarsing through my body. And my nerves reflect it. Well, what is left of them anyways.
So let me take a minute to tell you about my significant other. Because she floods my mind daily, and fills my thoughts on a level thats constant. First thought that comes to mind is her eyes, a bright blue that you seek to dive head first for. As breath taking as the ocean and all its beauty. Everytime I have the opportunity to gaze into them I get lost, such kind features that ive never experienced before. They carry so much depth, along with pain and things that not many will ever know.
My other favorite feature of hers is that she has this captivating smile. Its paralyzing to me. I thought it couldnt get better than that and then I heard her voice and her laugh. That was when I knew that I wanted her. I had saw enough.
Her presence I remember, was resonating. I couldnt take my eyes off her. Her blonde hair and the way she carried herself, almost as if she wanted to keep every one at a distance because she had felt enough pain, but it was buried. So, so deep. The attitude, the independency. I mightve been drooling by that point. I dont recall.
Her long legs, that carried her physique with an hourglass shape. I thought to myself, "She's the one. I dont care the challenge, Ill fight for her and be the man she deserves." Yes I understand beauty isn't everything. But wow she was everything I desired in a woman. Truly.
I remember falling in love with this girl. I couldnt wait to clock out from work to rush to her house and laugh. She made me feel alive. Like a drug i've never experienced. The minutes turned into days and the days turned into months. The way I feel about her never dissolved. It just kept growing. Rapidly. The wildest part is I remained all in. Sure we had our tiffs and disagreements. But none of that matters. I've never met someone who made me feel "at home" the way she does.
We would lay there at night and laugh until our faces hurt, and our stomachs couldnt handle any more. As we grew together I continued to learn about her, through every story and interaction I kept seeing this short lived flicker. And one day I realized, the flicker I kept sighting was pain. She hid it so well, I almost missed it. The average person would've missed it and not thought twice.
She finally opened up enough to give me a glimpse of her life, and lets just say. For what she has been through, she is a warrior. The fact that I cannot fathom going through the trials and tribulations that she has encountered, and yet she carries herself as if it doesnt eat at her in the slightest. I saw the vulnerability and it wasnt there for long. She flipped the switch and covered it with anger. She has every right to be angry by the way. She has the right to be much more than angry. I accepted that from the start. But she is strong, she is brave and she is courageous. Yet, she doesnt view herself that way. I know it affects her negatively. And It eats at me so often, some days worse than others.
She had been used, abandoned, treated poorly, cheated on, and I made an pact to myself that day. I decided I never wanted her to feel any of those feelings ever again. I wanna be the one she can rely on. The one she can trust. I want to be her last. I even promised her Ill never give up on her because she needed to know just how serious I am.
To this day Im just as committed to her as the day I met her. Now let me be clear. I have made my mistakes, and I am far from perfect by any means. I've reacted in ways I am not proud of. Said things I regret, and I hope one day it gets forgotten about. I have no excuses and I hold myself accountable.
I just crave to love her. I hope one day she see's the true reason why I stuck by her. Because she is my person. Life was dull before her, and I cant picture it without her next to me for the rest of my days.
Theres so many great things about her, I could go on forever. Like we now have our 2 beautiful girls together and she cares for them like a great mother does. She puts her needs behind our girls and she truly does make so many sacrifices for our family. She is human so she has her days of being over stimulated and touched out. As I do think anyone would!!! I know I couldnt do it any better than she does. And i want her to know that.
As i come to a premature closing on this write, i guess Ill end this with a reminder.
If she/he is what you want. And I mean truly want. Dont give up. Remind them why they are important to you. And if they mean what you say they mean to you, show them. Every.single. day!
Mark my words, I will make this woman my wife. Not just because she had my kids. Because I fell in love with her. Her sense of humor, her looks, her soul. Im done searching, because she is the one and I hope she see's Im here to be her team mate.
💜TJB<3WNL💜
7/7/24
Behind closed doors.
The doors you may see, yet another may not. Yes, It can be the same set of doors for both, but of you may see something different upon those doors. You may notice a crack where the creases meet on the bottom left had corner. The other may notice a chunk missing where the door was broken due to the latch hitting from being slammed shut.
The door should obviously function as it appears to be closed, handle in tact. Yet before opening, please choose wisely. It is yet to be determined whats behind this door. Could it change your life? I know, what a dumb question! It sounds silent behind there. There couldnt be anything that could possibly hurt, could there? The door to enter the room looks pretty normal, standard 4 panel hardwood door, the handle could turn as we hope. There isn't any way that what's behind this door could be life altering. At least you might assume.
Now be hesitant on opening this door. I try to warn you. As you grab the metal doorknob, it's cold as ice. Swiftly you remove your hand and see the instant outline of the knob and where it stopped in your hand. Almost as an ice burn. Ok, is a window open? It's 68 degrees outside. This doesnt make sense! I warn you for the last time, if you enter this room, it could change your life forever.
( Being a human, it seems we always detour closer when we're warned. Ask us not to do something and we're intrigued. Almost as if we accepted a challenge. You can tell us theres a million dollars in there, and all we have to do is get past a panther. Why instantly do we start thinking of ways to make this happen? Without facing too much pain if any, or even death of course. Yet that's because we want maximum payout, without any sacrifice. Otherwise we question it. Like no way theres a tiger or a million dollars in there? )But back to this door.
As you rest your hand on the back of this door, it's warm. You grab the handle for a second time and it's still ice cold. You've been warned about what that door does, or is capable of. But the room is of question yet. Is the room closet size, or is it long and narrow? The questions can go on for days. As today you ponder on the thoughts of what could be behind this door. And wait and think if you really want to open it.
Losin it
My minds running, my hearts beating. I guess you could say thats a good sign but it doesnt feel that way. Im sick of fighting and the lack of proper communication, when you meet a companion they are supposed to listen and try to make you better and you in turn do the same. That means to not keep doing the things they mightve mentioned in the past. When something is to be discussed, a text doesnt do it for me. The lack of depth, the lack of meaning. I just dont find it very sentimental. Id rather hear it from their lips knowing exactly what they mean and being able to converse about the subject at hand.
Sometimes the timing is key, you can have the perfect words, but at the wrong time can really turn a situation around. Try to keep that in mind. Dont lead someone on with things they wanna hear, to in turn, be like "nahh, im not about that". Just be fucking honest from the beiginning. I always thought that was common sense but apparently Im wrong. Im truly trying to understand every angle of the spectrum. But some cant seem to grasp this concept.
All these false accusations that cant be brought up until one is mad. Sorry, but thats a poor way to handle things. What ever happened to discussing and conversing when one doesnt like or agree with something? Instead lets wait till were mad and then throw subtle jabs. And yes. Thats what they are. Like being on tumblr after i say im going to bed. Like when i get off the phone to sleep, i literally go to bed. I may not exit out of my apps as there are probably 26515 open as i type this. Not everyone is religous about their phone as some are. But that also cant be taken into consideration? Why not? Because im automatically the bad guy? I dont think so. So dont play victim when you know damn well your just as guilty at being shitty to one another.
Goodfuckingnight rant over.
Don’t allow the limitations of those around you to become your own.
(via deeplifequotes)
Fall in love with somebody who will never let you go to sleep wondering if you still matter.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
Feels
Story time! As most of you know, my birthday was last monday. Just another day, aging and whatnot, because were all so excited to get old right?! Lol Anyways i woke up from Z's(Zoë Lewandowski) house and made my way to the house to get ready to head to work. Just another ordinary day for me. Well i get through work and make my way home. I get to the house to see theres a cake there with my name on it, which i thought was dope from the Driers! Like its super appreciated and they do sooo much for me! Well i receive my birthday wishes as another year, not thinking anything of it. Well i received information my girlfriend got me one more gift but i couldnt have it yet. She said it wasnt huge, or anything crazy but that she was super excited to give it to me, but it wasnt done yet. Not knowing what that meant i questioned everything, wondering what it could be?! I pestered her so hard for about 3 days straight at gridlife through last night. Well today she comes over and hands me this gift. Something that instantly hit me in the feels. With so much meaning and sentimental value, being something i knew could never be purchased in a store and i knew she had made especially for me. She had 2 of my absolutely favorite crystals added with a garnet at the top to complete it. It contains amethyst, quarts, and the garnet crystals. And i wanted to share this because this woman just continues to keep impressing me! Check out my custom made stone wrap that my beautiful girlfriend got for me:) Im in love😍😍😍😍
Disturbed waters
As today comes to an end i notice an irritability. Im very unsure of what might be causing this issue, but i feel like the stress from starting a business, working a full time job and trying to get my daily running, on top of having a girl to tend to, it’s a lot of work. Im managing it all to the best of my abilities, but it truly doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like im exhausted. Im burning the candle at both ends and im running out of wax to stay lit.
The girlfriend has been great, there have been minor disputes but nothing to sweat about. Im glad she understands me for the most part. Still some consideration things to work on though. Really having her guy friends just always showing up at her house has been interesting and uncomfortable, whether they come over at 6pm or 12am. Im not a fan of it. Ive tried explaining it and it doesnt seem to be heard. I truly hope something changes soon. She stated tonight she was working on it. But we will see. Im putting faith in her.
As far as my job goes, im sick of assembling these huge frames with screens for machinery, 400 of them total, and its been frustrating to say the least. My supervisor Vic has been extremely cool with me but im waiting for it to change. Hes one moody sonuva bitch.
On a great note, i did just pick up a welder ive dreamed about and im so extremely excited to use. I cant believe i own my dream welder. Its fantastic. Thanks to some amazing people we drove 2 hrs to go get a miller syncrowave 250. And i got it for a steal!!!!
But thats all for tonight. Peace be the journey tumblr. 4/24/2017
The light
As the past week as been one for the books and as we close to Friday, all i have on my mind seems to be her. How i was such a shitty man to lie to someone who has such a big heart, man ill never live it down but i can say I've made a mistake and im so happy and fortunate to have her in my life. I guess as a human its one thing to make a mistake and just use words to try and cover it up. But to know that she's actually caring and giving me a chance to show her i truly do care is a chance not many people get. I couldn't have asked for a much more understanding soul. Any who, I've had the chance to spend all week with Zoë and all i can say is wow. Getting to know her cute quirks and who she is, is becoming an adventure i truly hope doesn't stop. Her acceptance for exactly who I am makes me comfortable and I hope i bring the same to the table for her. The goal is to bring no judgement and she definitely deserves to be her and not be judged for it, with a heart and soul like hers the interest for her has been piqued. The unpressured conversation, the amazing laughs for hours and joking has been something ive never had with a human. Well at least not without drugs involved. Just being real here. As the clock reads 3:35 and I know I should be sleeping I just cant. Laying here with a smile on my face, even while i lay on this oh so uncomfortable air mattress in this smoke filled basement. I hate the smell of cigarettes😂 but shes just on my mind. Whats going on with me?! Why does she have me feeling this type of way?! I mean, im definitely not upset with it! But i guess ill leave it up to time to take its course. I just know Im going to enjoy my ride:) Thanks for reading 2/17/17
While everyone is complaining about roses have thorns, be grateful that thorns have roses.
(via intoxicatingconversating)
I think I’ve finally figured myself out I’m so scared of being vulnerable Because at the youngest age My father walked out with nothing to say Nothing to say at all to me A helpless child. So why would I ever trust someone Who isn’t blood to ever get close to me And let them in
Figuring myself out (via intoxicatingconversating)
Holy shit. My life.
Sadly
...
