Waves @sailingfarbeyondfamiliar - Tumblr Blog

Emotionally and mentally tired...

Sometimes I just want to speak my mind out and when I get the chance, words just blurt out. Somehow after doing it, I feel like I shouldn’t have make any noise because now I face the risk of being misunderstood or took what I said the wrong way. I am not sure what went wrong along the journey but I am finding myself constantly being very conscious and careful of my every move and every word that I say to make sure everyone is happy. As a result, many times it has also caused me to choose to keep my mouth shut instead of voicing out my opinion because I am fearful that I may say the wrong words and bring trouble upon myself.

This is slowly killing me mentally and emotionally. That’s the scariest part.

我很累。我真的累了。。。这样一次又一次的被你伤害，不知道还能承受多久。我不怪任何人因为这一切都是我自讨苦吃。若我一早就学会放下，也不会一直的受伤。是我愚蠢，我心太软。

真的就想这样一了百了但是我也知道死是不能解决问题而是一种很笨的逃避方式。但是我真的很累，很想看看当我死了谁会为我哭泣。一定要等到我死去了之后才学会珍惜吗？人往往都是要等到失去了才学会珍惜，多悲哀啊。

若再让我选一次，我觉得我会选择不踏进感情的世界。我会选择把自己封闭起来。没想到会有后悔的一天到来。这么多年来我辛辛苦苦为我们的感情奋斗但我想这一路以来都是我一厢情愿的。一直都在欺骗自己你是值得我为你奋斗。我常常都试着站在你的角度为你着想但是你从不试着为我着想。为社么呢？我以为你会好好对待我脆弱的心，但是我想我还是太高估你了。这让我明白人类是多么的不可靠。以后我还是不要信任任何人，再也不要对任何人敞开心房免得又再次受伤。

这将是一个很漫长的夜晚。

让我心痛，开心，伤心，兴奋，失望都是你。