Up Town Girl

This blog consist of to-whom-it-may-concerns open letters to anonymous and unknown persons. From one teen to other, xxx

[sailingxsoul]

I'm message away 💞

[sailingxsoul]

to-who-it-may-concern; If there's one thing I want to change to myself that would be how I'm easily be irritated, annoyed and got boiling tempered especially in simple things. I hate it so badly, I even have high pitched voice to the people around me. That feeling that you're already in that situation, you caught your tempered, saying things with high pitched voice and hating yourself at the same time for feeling like that. I can't stop it. When my head starts to boil, even I know whats going to happen next.. I can't stop it. How badly I want to stop it. I actually have a theory why I'm the way I am. I inherited it from my mom, who's like that also. And I hate my mom for that, as I hate myself. I just can't deal with it. I'm such a disappointment to everyone. Anyways, is there any tips I could get in how to stop it? Please do tell me. My ears are wide open to listen. And what are the things you hate about yourself too? And how do you deal with it? From one teen to another, xx

[sailingxsoul]

To someone I used to love and I guess I still did 'till now

A pal asked me if I'm over you, and I just smiled. I wondered for a long time to that phrase too, if I am then how I'll know it? I don't even know how to do it. Every time I think of you there's always this ache inside of me, like some kind of voodoo dolls being pinch by a needle. I don't find myself thinking about the idea of having someone else right now, its kind of blur when I think of it. And I'm still caught up by the notion my heart says, that I'll never ever loved somebody more than the way I have loved you. I feel like if I loved someone else, what else to give when all my idea of love is I already have been gave to you. No matter I'll tell myself that "I'm over you, I don't care anymore. I have moved on, we have different lives now" and mean it, I just can't. Because you know how much I care about you. Yes, I won't deny that I still tarry to your profile and checked you out to know how you've been doing these days, how are you or if you are okay. Whenever I typed your name in my search bar, it always takes five minutes. Five circumstantial minutes to have a war inside my mind and heart but then my heart prevail every time. I guess even if our lives will collide once again and you stumble in front of me, theres no uncertainty that I will and always still care about you. From one teen to another, xx

[sailingxsoul]

[cypherhipsta]

[sailingxsoul]

To someone who'll encounter this message

Hello World. Hello Universe. So I decided to made main blog which is all about me. This blog. Yes. I do have another blog which about indies-grunge-pale-boho-nature pictures are all there under the url cypherhipsta. Anyway. Why made another blog, you might ask? You know when you shake a coke can and then you open it and it explodes everywhere? Well, that’s how I feel right now. I have so many things I want to say inside of me and I think sooner or later I will burst out or get drowned with myself. The thing is, I don't have the confidence to say them out loud or maybe I'm just so scared to let people know what is inside my mind because they might get drowned. Or maybe I'm afraid that I'll bore them with my nonsense. But in other hand, I want to feel like someone, somewhere, will be able to read what I’ve got to say. That’s why I’ve decided to give this another blog a shot even so I'll might forget the other one, so that I have somewhere I can say exactly what I want, when I want and how I want—to someone. And not have to worry that what I say won’t sound cool or will make me look stupid or lose me friends. Somehow, I thought I can't be the only girl have this kind of thoughts you know? I have a thought in the back of my mind that maybe all teens like me having the same feeling. And I wish, when we thought of it, we think that its okay to be yourself, pour out all things you have in mind and we can stop staring in our room ceiling always in lost of thoughts before sleeps visit us because I know we can be ourselves together. I want you to know that there will be someone who's willing to know about you and won't mind anything and even judge you and thats me. But for now, we're going to keep it real here in this pixel. I'm going to be honest of my feelings as you are honest towards yours. I'm going to say whatever I want to say and it would be really cool if (this beautiful person reading this) will join me. Let's build a space/corner in internet where at least for now we can be our own identity without being worried to pretend. I guess its getting longer than I expected to my first entry. So yeah, well I guess that’s all for now. Thank you for reading (if anyone actually has been reading!) And let me know what you think by sending me an ask button (if you want other lost in thoughts teenagers knows) or mail/chat me for private purpose. From one teen to another.. Up Town Girl, xxxx