Raphael

My name is Rafi, I am twenty five years old and I did not see the apocalypse coming. Hailing from Canada, currently camping out in the woods. So we can take the world back from a heart attack One maniac at a time we will take it back You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start So dance along to the beat of your heart put on your war paint

[damonexuality]

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

The story of how the lion fell  in love with the lamb. 

[nurselaurenx-blog]

Lauren’s gaze fell on his wrist, of how her dainty fingers clung softly to him – afraid of the answer, and absolutely terrified that he leave. She felt her heart beating wildly, almost like it would stampede out of her chest at any moment. It wasn’t as if she intended for any of this to happen, she was a nurse in the beginning, she had focused all of her time helping everyone around her and that’s what she had grown accustomed to. Even now, with everything that had happened – they were all broken, not just her, and she remembered that. When Raphael stepped forward and his words echoed in her ears, she let out a small yet shaky breath, nodding and taking a tiny step into his embrace. “It would be okay if you did..” She whispered out, heart clenching inside her chest. Of course it wouldn’t be okay to her, but if she was him – with everything that she had done, if even unintentional, Lauren would hate herself too. Her doe eyes looked up to meet his gaze, at crystal hues that seemed so distant lately. As he kissed her forehead, his lips lingered there and Lauren’s hands traveled up his wrists, the tips of her fingertips barely making contact with his skin before resting on his chest. “I’m the reason this happened to you – I love you, Raphael. And that means all of you. Through the good and the bad times, but I also love you enough to let you go – if you wanted it. I won’t leave you unless you ask me to..” 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

He’d thought of leaving. Chase after his wings. He knew there was such an easy way to get new wings, but he refused to rip them off someone else, to get anyone to go through the same pain he was. The constant aching in his back, the imbalance as a solidifying balance and weight had been taken away. The feeling of deep loss because they’d been such an important part of him for thousands of years. No, if he was getting wings again it would be his own. But he had no idea where to start looking, and so he’d stayed, because at least that way he could still be useful, his subpar healing powers still patched up humans pretty well. And his family was here. Lauren, Jane, the people of the Feather Fighters he’d given his wings for to protect. He couldn’t leave. But maybe, maybe he wanted to. “I don’t know,” he finally managed, his voice low but audible, his eyes squeezing shut. He’d had to sit through tragedies that tore chunks of people out of their lives and to the afterlife, he’d seen countless people refuse his help, he’d grown attached to and lost friends. But this was the hardest yet. This war, the vindictiveness that some people stooped to, the humans he’d gotten himself mixed up with. The brightest, most stubborn and most amazing people of the century. “I won’t lie and tell you I haven’t thought about leaving. There’s been a few times where I almost--but I can’t. I don’t know where to start looking, and I can’t--I don’t know if I can do this by myself. You’ve seen me collapse from the strain. I’m still not fully healed. So I--I’m staying, okay? And even if I left, I would take you with me." He wrapped his arms around her and settled his head on top of her shoulder. He felt like a kid, vulnerable and aching as he was, but her presence helped. “I miss you.”

[ranixsingh-deactivated20150729]

“I managed then, I’ll manage now.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“You don’t want to be around me right now. Get out before I do something I’ll regret.”

[angelofmusicadriel-blog]

Adriel looked down, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, really, but hearing that the rumours were true hurt. Raphael had been one of the best of them, and with the loss of his wings…. Well, she really didn’t want to think about what might happen now. She looked back up at him in surprise. “You think that people won’t still listen to you? Brother, please, you’re one of the most respected of us all. There are many among us, myself included, who will still follow you, despite what Michael might want.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“How can I lead any of our brethren like this? If anything, I’m an example of what will happen to them when they follow me. Adriel, they took my wings. Not just my status symbol, but the very core of me. I’ve been unstable, powers sparking or fading against my will, and--I can’t get back to Heaven anymore.” Michael’s followers had wanted to kill him, but they hadn’t counted on his honed healing powers. As it were, not managing to reach Heaven was a good enough compromise. “I can’t speak at Councils, or talk to those of us that stay behind, and I sure can’t lead a civil war like this. Face it, my run is over.”

[nurselaurenx-blog]

Lauren caught his gaze, and she couldn’t help but find the unspoken words behind it. She bit her tongue, and nodded, feeling her heart sink deeper into her chest. “I went to the shores the other day..” Lauren finally muttered out, knowing that it probably wasn’t the time, but every time she attempted to get close to Raphael lately, he pulled away and would either avoid her or be gone for days, and she couldn’t help but feeling unwanted, guilty, and like a horrible person. She walked along beside him, they used to walk in happiness, they would talk about things.. The future. The little normality they found in each other. Now? They were lucky to say anything. “I saw her, I’m happy she’s back. I thought I might have lost her. I just – I hope she stays.” Lauren whispered out slightly, sigh breaking her silence before she stopped in her tracks, fingertips wrapping around his wrist softly as her doe eyes stared at the ground in silence. “.. – Do y-you hate me?” 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Raphael stilled instantly, the hand on his wrist such an intimate gesture. He did that to her quite often—well, used to—because he could feel her pulse so clearly there. Her being human was part of why he found her so charming. She had but one lifetime and she’d always lived it so intensely. She was frail and vulnerable, yet carried herself boldly. His eyes dropped, a frown still crinkling his forehead, and sighed. “No, of course not.” Fingers cupped gently around her cheeks and he looked at her, properly, like he hadn’t done much in the past few weeks. He missed her, it ached deeply in his gut, even though she was right here. Being around her had always been simple, and now that it wasn’t he was trying to find his footing in this—new way. This complicated maze navigating around traumas. It was hard, but she was worth it, right? His lips pressed to her forehead and he remained there, standing near to her, but not knowing quite what to do. “I’m sorry. It’s been—difficult. I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. I hate—this situation, this war; that I had to fall in love with someone human and pay the highest price for it. But, Lauren,” his eyes found her once more, in the shady hallway of a building creaking and groaning around them. “I love you. Trust me, I do, and I will be back one day. Old me will be back one day.”

[sethfelixroi]

Seth flinched as the man knocked the gun out of his hand, reaching reflexively for his angel blade. Little human – that meant this guy definitely wasn’t human. He didn’t see any wings, but that didn’t mean much – a lot of angels hid theirs anyway. “Some bastard with wings who came to kill us all for no apparent reason?”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Why did everyone always have to remind him of his wings? Raphael winced, fist slamming into the wall behind him, plaster and stone crumbling to the floor. He didn’t have much of his power and abilities left, but still enough to kill a frail human if he so desired--which he did not, not really. “I’m Raphael, you blithering fool. Haven’t you wondered how everyone’s been surviving this long? How Lauren and Natasha survived a car crash that should’ve been their end with practically no injuries? I’ve been standing up for you guys and this is how I’m rewarded? Gun in the face? Bad attitude? Come on, now.”

[nurselaurenx-blog]

“Raphael.. I’m sorry – I thought you were someone else. ” Lauren muttered under her breath, sucking in a small sigh of relief but at the same time, a sense of nervous fumbling of her fingertips indicated that she was anxious. He said he didn’t blame her for what happened – but that didn’t make it any easier, it didn’t mean she didn’t blame herself. Her doe eyes met his gaze, and she softened her features. “I was looking for supplies.. Were you following me?” Truth be told, she saw the way the others looked at her since it happened. God she was so tired of needing to be saved. 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

"No, I come here sometimes." To be alone, he didn’t add. He was sure she knew, anyway. They all needed some time alone every now and again. Raphael was not an exception. "I'll walk with you." He put his hand on her lower back and tugged her along, back to walking, side by side, though the distance between them had never been bigger. They'd been so happy, and now the purity of that was marred by scars, both hers and his. "Did you see Natasha yet? She's returned. You must be happy about that." He smiled then, or attempted at least, and kissed her temple. If their family was whole again, maybe things would get better. Easier, at least. "I'm not sure if returning is the safest thing for her, for anyone, but at least I'll be around to--" Keep her safe? He couldn't even keep himself safe anymore.

[sethfelixroi]

“I’m the one holding the gun here, cheri, you don’t get to make demands. What the hell are you doing here?”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“You insult me, little human.” Raphael flicked the gun out of his hand easily, glaring at Seth with ice blue pools of murderous pain. “Do you even know who I am?”

[ranixsingh-deactivated20150729]

“No.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“It was not a question. You’ve managed to survive this long--don’t let it be in vain.”

[angelofmusicadriel-blog]

“I was looking for you, actually.” She bit her lip, trying to be delicate. “I heard…rumours.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“Ah, yes, of course there are.” Raphael chuckled without mirth, hands sinking into the pockets of his pants. “Well, they’re true. Hate to break your heart here, Sister, but you’re going to have to find someone else to take a stand for the humans.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

   “Here’s a hint for you: if you want to survive, get out. N o w.”

[angelofmusicadriel-blog]

“Excuse me? Is someone in here?”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“Adriel.” He’d not seen her since Before, and Raphael wasn’t too happy for her to see him like this. “What are you doing here?”

[nurselaurenx-blog]

Lauren made her way through the darkened and abandoned building, searching for anything they could make useful. Since the capture, she always felt like someone was watching her – her doe eyes peered into the darkness, almost knowing someone was staring back. “You’re not very good at this hide and seek thing.” 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

“Add insult to injury, why don’t you.” Raphael stepped out of the shadows, the barest of smiles tugging at the corners of his mouth. Lately, things had been strained between them. He didn't blame her for the loss of his wings, but sometimes he caught himself being so angry towards her. Right then he felt it too, simmer underneath the surface, but he pushed it aside and walked up to her. "What're you doing here, love?"

[hannasqueen-deactivated20150904]

Michaela wasn’t scared or disgust by things that fast, there wasn’t time to show that kind of weakness around this war, but when she saw the guy’s back, she couldn’t help but let out a yelp. She knew something really did not fit the right picture here. The marks didn’t seem from any objects like a whip for instance. It seemed that something, anything was ripped right of his back like a girl would pick a flower from it’s home. “Raphael?!” She yelled out in shock. “Stop that!— You’re hurting yourself even more, and I can get you Lauren. I paged her already.”  Michaela gently rested her hand on his shoulder, keeping steady so he wouldn’t fall. “You’re going to be okay.”

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Raphael nodded. He didn't necessarily believe her, but it was good to have hope anyways. As long as Michael's pawns kept his wings there would be an amount of pain that would not cease, but he could cope, he could learn how to live without them temporarily to get things done, and he could get ready to fight to get his feathers back. "Angels," he murmured as they shuffled into the building. His head pounded, his back felt like blunt axes were still buried into his flesh, and his knees were shaky. "They followed us here after we rescued Lauren. Here being about half a mile out. Do we have any patrols going?"

[nurselaurenx-blog]

Lauren felt her heart sink deep into her chest at the situation Raphael was left in. She didn’t even realize that the tears had been streaming down her once rose colored cheeks. But now, the soft skin was tainted with shades of black and blue, her skin pale from lack of nutrition, rope burns twisting around her wrists from being hung upward in the darkened room until Michael commanded the angels to torture again until her body gave up, and everything went black. She couldn’t count how many times this happened a day, pushing her harder each time in an attempt to get information. What they didn’t take into consideration, was that Lauren would die before she gave up her sister, and those that she loved. She carefully pulled him closer, brushing the hair from his face as her lips quivered in an attempt to speak. “I - I can help you..” She muttered hopefully, although her words were laced with fear and denial. Taking up the small knife that she clutched in between her dainty hands, she cut the fabric of his shirt. dropping it when she saw the sight, hand reaching up to cover her mouth as her doe eyes stared in disbelief. “I’m so sorry.” She muttered, continuing to brush the hair from his eyes, and caress his cheek lovingly. 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Raphael closed his eyes and leaned into her palm. She was okay. They had succeeded. For a month, there had been nothing but the absence of her, the worry and the anxiety. He had been unable to track her down, flying over the lands when it was night so that he could maybe pick up on the sense of her. It was Jane who figured out she had to have been taken to Heaven, there was no other way, and it could have only been one place. That they got out in the first place was impressive, but he should have known there would be a price. His back felt on fire. Shivering he curled further into Lauren, resting his head in her lap. Everything hurt. His powers were twitchy at best, weak compared to what once was. He was capable of sewing some minor stab wounds shut before he was trembling too hard to continue. Blood still dripped down his back. "I-Inside. Not safe," he murmured, clinging to her scent and her presence to force himself to his feet. He wobbled, but stood. The irony of staying at a convent as an anti-angel resistance group would have him laughing any other time, he was just glad for the comforting presence of all the candles, incense and crosses that would irk everyone else. "H-How are you? Okay?"

[hannasqueen-deactivated20150904]

"Shit, shit!" Michaela yelled out in frustration. With the right enough strength she had, she moved him to his side, so he wouldn’t choke on his own blood. Michaela felt a bit of bile crawl up her throat when she noticed the marks on his back. What the fuck did this guy went through?! She haven’t seen anything like it on an human before. Not to bring the guy even more pain then necessary, she pulled of her sweater, now only wearing her black tank top, putting it under his head. “Lauren? Lauren is fine… It’s you I am worried about.” 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Raphael tried not to throw up. He had never felt pain like this. His fellow angels had cut into his very core and taken away the source of most of his life energy and power. Aside from the physical pain there was the betrayal, the disgust at what they could do, the repulsion of political games that were being played. "Michaela, it's Rafi," he choked out, trying to push himself up but falling back down. "I need--Rochevs. I need the Rochevs. Or Jane and Fia. I--" His arms shook a little but this time he managed to prop himself up and sit up on his knees. "Where are they?"

[nurselaurenx-blog]

Lauren’s entire body felt weak, after running from the very place that had kept her hostage for almost a month now, everything seemed darker. They had rescued her — but at what cost? After the realization that Raphael was not following behind her after the escape, she quickly went back, although she didn’t have to go very far when she saw his body against the ground, crying out. Almost instantaneously, she fell by his side, trying to ignore the burning of tears. “Oh my God — what have they done to you?” Her voice was weak, and wavering, the sound of his painful cries almost crippling to her as she tried to figure out how she could help. 

[saintraphaelthearchangel-blog]

Voices could be many things. They could carry emotion, intention, a subtle nudge, a hidden meaning. They could bring back memories or create images. For Raphael, hearing Lauren's voice was enough to make it all worth it. There was a deep sense of loss that kept reverberating inside of him, something that got lost in the pain, swept up by waves of agony, but all of that didn't matter because she was safe. Her mere presence gave him the strength he needed to at least curl onto his side. Like a baby asking for its mother he reached out to touch her, his fingers grazing ever so lightly over her wrists before pressing against her palms. "W-wings," he stammered, leaning his head against her knee while his body curled into itself, trying to be as tiny as possible.