[childmagazine]

[flospughsadadad-deactivated2021]

Gina Rodriguez for Self Magazine (© Nadya Wasylko)

[nowhites]

*grabs my mans ass* who u getting thick for

[domscott02]

*grabs own ass* cause i’m getting thick for myself

[doctaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

sis fucking ended his entire career!!!!!!

[left-reminders]

[angelbabyspice]

i’m gonna kms

[krishnathekumar]

This satire was made 20 years ago.

[werebottom]

Old school Madtv was spot on

[omnivore-odyssey]

When some dude complains that feminists should shut up because women somewhere else have it worse:

[cosmog]

are we actually prepared for a meme that can defend itself by existing? i dont trust any of yall to use that power wisely

[vanillagloss]

[ministryofinterior-deactivated2]

sometimes im like girl… u need to take a minute, relax , breathe, disconnect n think abt where u are in life and what you need….. but then all my dumbass start thinking abt is killingmyself so im right back on tht phone scrolling mindlessly NOT thinking

[evilrashida]

I’m DONE OK DONE

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Relevant to Chinatown re-zoning, this is my 2nd favorite piece of graffiti in Chinatown

Submitted by ivenoideawhatiamdoing

[donanananana-deactivated2018012]

Yeahh I live near this piece.

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[aced-the-heart]

Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.

[outofcontrolrps-deactivated2025]

@nelthedefender

[ed-gein-sex-machine]

This is hysterical

[camreapher]

JUST LETTING Y'ALL KNOW WHERE THIS BLOG STANDS.

[fashiondailymag]

‘PROUD IMMIGRANT’ Cristina piccone at RICARDO SECO FW17 #NYFWM.

pic Amir Taghi // fashiondailymag

[turnon]

we need a nintendogs app i am sick of living like this

[marcitlali]

lea t givenchy spring 2017