rigby i think i speak for a lot of people when i say that i do NOT care if any dispatch fics u write are too long pls feed us 🙏🙏🙏
Eat up my convoluted plot!!
Pronouns: He/Him, and the reader is referred to as a man.
Physical Sex: not mentioned
How far are things going?: flirting, but I'm working on a second part that will be 18+ cause I’m a dog
Warnings: HR violations out the ass dude, Coupe and Sonar are mentioned to have cyberstalked you lol
Outline: The Z team has had significant numbers recently, and you, as SDN's wellness coordinator, are in charge of organizing a party and a prize for them! They pick the prize they want. It's very based on the fact that your powers are emotional based. Whatever you feel others will feel, and with how joyful you can be, the Z team wants to be around you to soak up that energy.
What inspired me to write this: I love office romance and superheroes…
Other: I love harem fics, and if you’ve followed me for any amount of time, this is very clear lolol. Also, I reference Bojack Horseman and that dude who stuck his dick in an M&M tube in this lol let me know if y'all find that.
Robert groaned as the familiar plastic chair backing dug into his back first thing in the morning. Before he was able to put on his headset, the smell of coffee filled his nose.
"Good morning, Robert! I’m sure you got my email?” Your voice preceded you by half a second before you appeared in his cubicle. You shuffled into his small cubicle with two cups of coffee in your hands, a big smile on your face. You were the SDN Wellness Manager, responsible for celebrations and boosting employees' morale.
If something was making someone smile, buying new office supplies, organizing company events, approving mental health days, etc., it was always because you fought for it.
You held out a cup, the warmth spreading to his hands as he took the brightly colored mug. In fact, the whole area felt like it was buzzing with a cozy, pleasant energy. You placed your cup next to Robert’s as Beef pawed at your legs.
You picked up the chunky dog, softly stroking the small area between Beef's eyes with your gloved fingers. The dog cozied up to your chest and sighed, his tail wagging wildly. Robert watched you be gentle with Beef and smiled. "Uh, morning (Name). I was just about to check, actually.” You nodded and cleared your throat, suddenly looking very professional and less bubbly.
“Since the Z team has been doing so well lately, I’m obviously responsible for organizing some kind of celebration for them.” Beef tilted his head and started sniffing at your face, nosing at your cheek, making you crack a smile. This was much better news than he expected to hear about the team from someone in Human Resources.
"Let me know what the team would actually like— food, prizes, anything." You touched his shoulder lightly. Even through the glove, it sent a pleasant fizz under his skin. He stumbled over his words as he thanked you again.
“I’ll check in this morning before your shift starts to ask a few questions, if you don’t mind,” you said with a small smile before walking over to your own desk, which was across from his cubicle. You quickly set Beef down, chuckling to the little dog about your attempt at dog napping. The small glass room you sat in was nicely decorated and felt cozy. You didn’t have the harsh lights of the rest of the office.
A soft yellow glow bathed your skin like a halo, and gentle music played on a low volume. You caught his eyes still on you and gave a happy wave before putting on your headset. Robert put on his own headset as he saw everyone come online and greet each other casually.
“The fuck is (Name) doin’ here anyway?” Punch Up was the first to notice the new presence in the call. Your photo appeared — a cute one where you looked practically glowing. “Good morning, Z Team! Your recent numbers have been excellent, and SDN, as well as I, want to celebrate you!” The call buzzed with excitement; even Coupé sounded happy.
“I’m sure you all wouldn’t want the same prizes granted to other teams, so I have a few ideas—.”
“Whoa, what are these prizes other teams get?” Flambae interrupted, offended at the notion.
“I just think you all would find it corny, like a post made about you on our Instagram, or—I’m sure no one wants to be in a raffle to have lunch with me.” You chuckled, but a silence took over the call. It worried Robert; these guys were never this quiet. They always had something to say, some smartass comment or line, but that didn’t happen here.
“Why don’t we do that one, eh? I don’t see why we should get any special treatment, we're like any other team” Flambae said, and most of the team started to agree unanimously over the mic.
“Oh wow! That’s my bad for making an assumption. But I can set up the raffle soon, and we can announce the winner tomorrow when lunch starts. I’ll see you all then—check your email for how to win!” You chirped, and then your photo disappeared.
“What’s going on? You all never agree on anything, but you agree on some cheesy ‘lunch with the principal’ as the big prize?”
“You ever read his file? His power amplifies emotions and feelings. Just being near him for a few minutes feels like nothing bad has ever happened.” Prism explained as she kicked back more comfortably, waiting to be sent on a job. “Plus, the radiation from his power if he's excited," Flambae added, "feels like taking Adderall. And like you’re a little horny."
There were a few mumbles about how they’d had their best days after something excited you, and they were nearby to soak up the energy.
Robert swallowed hard. Prism continued, "Closest anyone got to him was Sonar, and that was with gloves on. If he touches you barehanded? Boom. Instant soaked pants."
“Everyone gets a little sweaty and hot around him; most people want to chase that feeling, but he’s a bit of a prude,” Flambae added as he returned from a job.
Robert finally began to think, yeah, he did get a little sweaty around you. He figured it was because his desk wasn’t right under the AC vent.
“I had no idea,” Robert responded, short and to the point to avoid getting too personal during a work call.
Robert heard Sonar sigh dreamily, “He was petting my head; if those gloves were off, I would’ve ascended to a different plane of existence right now."
Robert found it ironic that someone almost at the head of HR was a walking violation of HR policies. "You already don’t shut the fuck up about it, and the gloves were on."
“You’re just jealous.” Prism and Sonar bickered before Invisagal spoke up.
“But it totally sucks when he uses it to make you open up. A few months ago, he poked at my shoulder and said, ‘Holding things in isn’t healthy.’" Invisagal slightly mocked your voice, “and made me confess to using all the printer paper and not restocking it.” Invisiagal sounded more than upset as she retold the story.
“So wait, does he persuade people into what he wants, or does it depend on how the person already feels?”
Flambae shrugged. "He's basically a walking HR violation, but like... a sexy one."
No one could really answer if they thought about it.
Robert suddenly questioned every moment he had spent sweating near you.
“I’m winning that stupid raffle.” Malevola sounded almost cocky as she walked down the street.
It was simple. One ticket was automatically awarded, but you could also earn more tickets to increase your chances.
- Every 5 points earned on a job was one more ticket.
- Every helpful deed noticed by (Name) or someone in the HR department earned a ticket. The deed would then be evaluated, and more tickets can be earned.
With a three-hour lunch break, everyone had to shift their focus to helping around the office.
Robert watched Punch Up leave the office with you, carrying three large boxes on each shoulder. He vaguely heard you thank Punch Up as the door closed.
Robert sat in the kitchen, slowly chewing a chocolate bar as he watched Malevola walk through a portal she had placed inside your office, holding your hand to guide you through it. You ripped off a ticket and handed it to her with a smile.
Walking back to his desk, Robert noticed Flambae in your office, holding your phone and, Robert assumed, playing music for you to add to your rotation.
Prism was talking with the media team's interns, who were clearly more excited to talk to her than she was to them. These lunch breaks were so long that Robert tended to zone out for about an hour if he wasn’t helping Royd with new mecha suit ideas, and then take Beef out to use the restroom.
And Beef was whining to be taken out. Walking past almost everyone on the Z team, scrambling to help random people in the office, was a double-edged sword. It was great to see them helping, but it was because they’d get a reward.
Eh, everyone has to start somewhere.
Standing under the cherry blossom tree, Robert watched Beef chase a bug around the courtyard. A warm blanket of happiness wrapped around his entire body. You approached, hands tucked into the pockets of your pants, and there was a specific relief in your posture when you saw Robert standing there. "I was hoping it would just be you out here," you admitted, your voice light in the quiet of the space. "I need to get away from the rest of the team for a minute." You laughed and shuffled a little closer to Robert.
“What? Don’t like having nine weirdos in your space all the time?” A smile cracked onto your face, and you nodded.
“It’s nice—the help is really nice—but it makes me a little sad knowing that after today, they won’t bother checking on anyone.”
You looked down and sighed. “Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to deal with complaints during your lunch. Would you like to walk back together?” Your eyes held a hopeful look.
“I mean, sure, pretty sure Beef is ready for a nap anyway.” Robert pulled a small treat from his pocket and led the dog to the large glass doors.
If you had been in your office, the air would’ve felt thick and heavy with the joy you experienced. You knew better than to develop an office crush, but it was hard not to when everyone you worked with seemed so attractive.
The open space allowed the joyful air to flow and spread, not choking anyone.
“That’s nice.” The deep voice of Golem almost made you jump.
There was a big smile on his face as he watered a bed of flowers. And it dawned on you.
“Ah! A ticket for your efforts, Golem.” You pulled a small ticket from your pocket before Golem shook his head.
“Nah, baby, it’s alright, this is for me.” He motioned to the watering can and went back to watering. You hummed. How nice. Mentally noting you still needed to give him a ticket, you caught up with Robert, who held the door open for you.
“What a gentleman you are, Robert,” you laughed and began to walk up the stairs. “What are you trying to butter me up for, tickets as well?” The air around you felt pleasantly warm, like your power was leaking in soft pulses whenever your eyes met his.
“No, just doing what's right.” There was a playful smile on Robert's face as you both continued climbing. Suddenly, your phone buzzed, forcing you to answer the call in the stairwell.
Robert watched Beef trot up to Chase, sniffing the air and sneezing, which earned a coo from Chase.
“Trying to get a leg up on everyone else?” Invisigal suddenly appeared and shoved Robert’s shoulder.
“What are you talking about?” Robert questioned as he reached for his abandoned coffee cup. Bringing the cup to his lips, he waited for Invisigal to finish her accusation. Coupé stopped to glare as she restocked the printer paper.
“Being all buddy-buddy with (Name). You’re part of this competition, too.” Sonar perked up over his desk. “Whoa, Robert is getting alone time with (Name)? I didn’t give those kids financial advice for an hour to not win this competition.” Sonar’s words dripped with offense, as Punch Up also expressed his dismay. Robert moved the cup away from his lips in shock.
“Trying to suck all his energy for yourself?” Flamebae got up from his desk, stalking toward Robert. “Too bad, I’m gonna suck him first.” Robert stifled his laugh. What the hell was even going on? Why was everyone so... intense about this?
“Look, I’m not trying to suck him off. He asked me to walk with him, and I did.”
Finally, he took a sip from the cup, which tasted so good.
Really good.
Oh, fuck, it was so fucking good.
Like warm honey pouring down his chest-relaxing, euphoric, intensely comforting. He barely heard the arguing.
Robert didn’t even care about responding anymore. Defending himself from accusations of wanting to suck you off was the least of his concerns when something so amazing was in his hands.
A warmth spread down his back, hips, and swirled in his midsection as the coffee flavor lingered heavily in his mouth. Before he could take a second sip, he heard you.
“Oh! I totally left my coffee on your desk, sorry, Robert.” You took the cup from his hand and drank from it in the same spot. “Kinda cold, but what can you expect?” Walking to your office, Robert almost wanted to yell—to leap over and catch the coffee as it fell into the trash.
Instead, he could only watch helplessly as it fell with a thud. Leaving your office, you shut the door and, jokingly, hooked arms with Robert. “Onward to the cafeteria! I’m starving.”
The rest of the team glared daggers into Robert's back as the dull pain in his body that he always seemed to feel was gone now.
“He has no idea how lucky he is.” Sonar’s eyes narrowed through the glass walls of your office. "Tell me about it. Robert gets to sit and breathe in all that joy." Flamebae scoffed and drank from his water bottle.
“What? Oh, right, Robert too.” Sonar stared at Beef, who was lounging in your lap, his tongue hanging out as you scratched behind his ears. You had just finished your meal, gloves off, enjoying time with the dog. No one could hear your conversation, even though the door was open.
Just that you laughed at something Robert said, body tilting toward him.
Waterboy, who was on the Z team at this point, was busy cleaning the glass walls of your office. You noticed and placed Beef in Robert's lap. “Waterboy, you don't need to clean these anymore," you said.
Without thinking, you put a hand on his shoulder.
Your bare hand.
The team watched as Waterboy's back shot straight up; the flush on his already pink cheeks deepened. Both of you began to panic and apologized to each other. The emotional blast wasn’t one either of you were ready for. It was too much, far too much for the middle of the workday.
"Oh my god-I'm so sorry-"
"No, I'M sorry-"
Both of you stumbled over apologies until he practically sprinted out of the room. You fled into your office to yank your gloves back on; the air around you felt warm and clammy, filled with little shocks under the heavy fog of embarrassment.
When lunch ended and everyone was back to work, Robert wanted to yell in frustration. Jobs were getting done and completed, yes, but everyone was fighting over jobs.
"Come on, Bert, you've only sent me once this shift! Not fair, man!" Sonar groaned into the headset mic as Flambae and Prism were sent out on another mission together. "You've sent Waterboy three times already! I'm ready to get out there, man."
"Well, tell the people of LA to have fewer small fires and more jobs needing a bat monster if you want to be used more." Robert sighed and queued Coupé and Punch up to fight in another underground fight club. Watching their trackers go across the screen and back was easy but monotonous.
“Did you all know (Hero Name)'s ex-spouse hasn’t moved in at all since they divorced all those years ago?” Coupes' voice was steady, but there was an underlying excitement at the discovery of the Information.
“How’d you figure that out?” Malevola questioned, a little weirded out.
“Public Facebook account.” Was all coupe said as an answer.
“Maybe they just don’t post about their sex life,” Prism commented, but Coupe was quick with an answer.
“I thought so too, but looking through their posts, they lament that sex hasn’t felt good at least twice every year since they divorced. Easy to connect the dots on that one."
"And what are we supposed to do with that Coop?" Punch Up probed, trying to get more information, to see why this was even mentioned at all. "I just wanted to share my findings… Also, (Name)'s mom has baby pictures of him on her Facebook, and they are adorable." Her voice trailed, and everyone stayed silent.
“Can confirm. He wasn’t one of those babies that look like a potato.” Sonar spoke up, then quickly shut up. “Yeah. Cute baby.”
"It feels kinda scummy that you guys just want to be around him for his power." Robert finally spoke the words he's been holding in this entire time.
"It's like hanging out with someone who lights up a room, the infectious energy." Flambae started before getting cut off, "If he didn't have this power, he would still make rooms better." Malevola finished, and the entire team hummed in agreement.
Long shift aside, things went well, besides a few people complaining some more about how they were being "blue balled" by not getting jobs. Robert was ready to get home and pass out on his couch.
The sun was setting low, and the office was bathed in orange and yellow hues as Robert packed his backpack. You were still in your office, typing away with a large glass jar next to you.
The jar was filled with tickets of all different colors mixed.
You looked up and smiled, waving and yelling, "Have a good day!" to Robert.
____________
Mornings in the office were always calm, something you'd never take for granted. Setting down your things, you yawned and booted up your computer.
"Big day today." It was Robert, leaning in your doorway with two cups of coffee in his hands. The air around him felt calm, his tone playful. Beef walked into your office between Robert's feet and started sniffing around. "Yes, it is," taking the cup, you took a sip, "I didn't know you got here early too." Robert smiled and explained that he usually came early to use the gym.
"Ah, I always mean to take advantage of the gym, but I never find the time." You lifted the lid on the glass jar and mixed the tickets inside. “Do you think it’s overkill that I brought a nice outfit for lunch?” Robert looked at the plastic-protected jacket you hung on the coat rack of your office.
“Dry-cleaned suit, huh? Who are you trying to impress?” Robert walked deeper into your office, reaching out to look at the suit closer.
“What?! No! Nothing like that! I mean—“ you coughed and closed the jar. “That’s not appropriate for the workplace!” A heat sprang in your face that you hoped wasn’t radiating and making the entire room warm.
“Uh-huh, well, whoever wins is real lucky.” Robert stepped closer to you now, a glint in his eyes. He absolutely was feeling your flushed embarrassment.
“It’ll be like a blink of an eye when lunch finally comes around.”
“Come on! Just tell us what it felt like, Waterboy.” Invisagal pestered Waterboy, who only stuttered out a confused “huh? Wh—what?”
“What did it feel like! When he touched you.” Invisagal enunciated, “We all saw you get red and run off, so don’t act like nothing happened!”
Waterboy finally relented, “Well, it um, felt like flying— floating! In a hot tub and getting embrac— hugged. At the the same time.” He sighed, sounding embarrassed to admit how your hand on him felt in such a short amount of time.
“What does that even mean..?”
It wasn’t precisely a blink, but as your hand remixed the tickets, with the entire Z team staring at you, it felt like the past few hours escaped you.
The tickets lightly scratched your hand as you dug to the very bottom of the jar. You didn’t mean to stay for so long, but you couldn’t stop talking!
“I want to thank you all again for working so hard. Since this program formed, I was just waiting for the day I could actually celebrate you all!” Even though your energy was infectious, the rising anticipation was becoming unbearable.
“Yes, yes, you’re very sweet and thoughtful, the room tastes like sugar. Come on now!” Flambae clicked his tongue and used his hands to urge you on.
Playing The Arcana for the first time is incredibly funny because the narrative presents itself as a murder mystery except the victim’s ghost is just, there. the whole time.
➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.
➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”
➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”
➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”
➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”
➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.
“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.
“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”
➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”
➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”
However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!
➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.
If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)
➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“
“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.
➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.
➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”
➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.
“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”
➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.
“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”
I knew about half of this when I started writing. It’s amazing the stuff they don’t teach you in school that you have to work out on your own. And look, all beautifully laid out for you.
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