True info. Now let me add something: The power of documentation. (I was a long time steward in a nurses union.)
Remember: The "'E" in email stands for evidence.
That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.
But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.
Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: "I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx" Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.
Case 2: You have a schedule you like, you've had that schedule for a while, it works for you. Your supervisor comes to you and says "We're really short-handed now and I need you to change your schedule just for a month until we can get someone else hired. It's just temporary and you can have your old schedule back after a month." A month goes by and they forget entirely that they made that promise to you. So, once again, when they make the initial request, you send them an email "I'm happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after a month as you promised." Documentation.
[Image ID: Text reading: In the middle of a busy clinic at our practice, I got pulled in by my manager to speak to HR, who must have made a special trip because she lives several states away, and told I was being 'investigated' for discussing wages with my other employees. She told me it was against company policy to discuss wages.
Me; That's illegal.
Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh...
Me: That's an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.
HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.
Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.
I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.
HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.
Me: You still haven't given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.
HR: Oh haha yes here you go.
I just received a paper with legal letterhead and an apology saying there was no verbal warning or write up. Don't even take their shit you guys. Keep talking about wages. Know your worth. /End ID]
At one of my old (shit) jobs my boss would continually come have these verbal discussions with me and would never put anything in writing I took to summarizing every discussion we had in email. Like “just to confirm that you asked me to do X by Y date and you understand that means I won’t be able to complete the previous task you gave me until Z date - 2 weeks later than originally scheduled - because you want me to prioritize this new project.
The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.
Paper your asses babes. Do not let them get away with shit. If they won’t put what they’re asking you to do in writing then write it up yourself and email it to them.
Does anyone have that one story of the lady who worked at a bank or something and management tried to can her, but she had evidence or something that ended up having her win a lawsuit? If I recall that story had both evidence, and the importance of employee communication as a co-worker tipped her off so she made sure she had an evidence papertrail
“I got a fan letter from a young lady. It was a suicide note.
So I called her, and I said, “Hey, this is Jimmy Doohan. Scotty, from Star Trek.” I said, “I’m doing a convention in Indianapolis. I wanna see you there.”
I saw her – boy, I’m telling you, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was definitely suicide. Somebody had to help her, somehow. And obviously she wasn’t going to the right people.
I said to her, “I’m doing a convention two weeks from now in St. Louis.” And two weeks from then, in somewhere else, you know? She also came to New York - she was able to afford to got to these places. That went on for two or three years, maybe eighteen times. And all I did was talk positive things to her.
And then all of the sudden – nothing. I didn’t hear anything. I had no idea what had happened to her because I never really saved her address.
Eight years later, I get a letter saying, “I do want to thank you so much for what you did for me, because I just got my Master’s degree in electronic engineering.”
That’s…to me, the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.“
rumi sings to her plants everyday while she tends to them. sometimes its a real song, sometimes its a song shes coming up with on the spot, sometimes shes just humming at them.
its a routine she never really strays from. even when sick, or injured, she insists on going out and taking care of them, and no matter how hoarse her voice is, she sings.
one day, when shes around 33, she has an audience of one. she doesnt realize shes being watched, nor does she realize it for the several days afterwards she continues to be watched.
in fact, its not until three weeks later, when she nears her balcony and hears a noise from outside, that she realizes anyone else has been coming out there at all.
when she goes outside, she sees her daughter, jihae. the noise is her singing. her voice is fine, but shes only 3, and she has no volume control, so its loud and a bit cacophonous. she’s holding rumi’s watering can in her hands, and it looks MASSIVE in them.
she’s singing nonsense earbleedingly loud, and she’s watering the plants a tad too much (although, for a three year old, it’s surprisingly close to the accurate amount she needs to water them, showing just how closely she’s been observing rumi), but rumi smiles and only slightly winces when her voice goes VERY sharp and when her daughter puts way too much water in one of them
she watches for another minute or so before jihae turns and sees her mother, and jumps. “mama! i was just-“
rumi laughs. “taking care of the plants for me? thank you, jiji.” she steps forward and gently takes the watering can from her daughter, before placing it on the ground and kneeling in front of her.
jihae wrings her hands nervously, and despite how much she looks like mira, with her eyes and brown hair, her cheeks and chin, her disposition and constant need for physical affection all inherited from the dancer, in that moment she looks so much like zoey that rumi’s heart soars at the sight of the daughter she gave birth to resembling both of her loves so perfectly
“ive been watching you,” the little girl admits remorsefully.
rumi places a hand on her daughters freckled cheek. “yeah?”
she nods. “it…looked nice. taking care of the plants.” the s in “plants” was elongated; jihae had inherited zoeys slight speech impediment.
“you were singing, too. did that also look nice?”
jihae nods again. “plus, you did it every time you took care of them, so it must be important, right?”
rumi kisses her forehead. “it is. singing to your plants can help them grow.”
jihae bites her lips, a move she recognizes as her own when shes contemplating something but doesnt know how to ask.
rumi decides to ask for her, “did you wanna help, jiji? i have so many plants, but so little time to take care of them all.” its not entirely untrue. she has an entire greenhouse on the roof of the building that she takes care of after the ones on her balcony. “i could really use the help.”
jihae looks up at her w excitement. “really?”
“mhm. i can teach you how to take care of all the plants, how much water they need, how much sun they need, even how to rehabilitate them when they need it.”
jihae tilts her head. “whats rebuildate?”
rumi chuckles. she probably shouldnt have used a word that big for her three year old. “rehabilitate. its when someone or something is sick, and you help it get better.”
jihaes eyes widen in surprise and a bit of horror. “plants can get sick?”
“they can.”
“do they start coughing and getting snot everywhere?” jihaes nose wrinkled in disgust.
rumi laughed, kissing her daughters cheek a few times just to release the overwhelming affection she felt in that moment.
about two months ago, hani, jihaes younger (by about 5 minutes) sister had had a nasty cold. in order to keep hani from passing it on, jihae and aeri, rumis eldest daughter (by about 2 hours), had to be kept separated from their sister, and had only caught glimpses of her throughout the duration of the week she was sick. they’d probably only seen her coughing and stuffed up and thought it was just gross, which was a relief.
(rumi and her wives had had a much worse time of it. hani’s cold had left her shivering, pale, and clammy. she wheezed painfully for most of that week, and there’d been a terrible, anxiety filled moment where rumi was terrified she would die, although she hadnt said it aloud. theyd spent most of it by her side, feeding her and giving her medicine, and cradling her in their arms until she fell into a restless sleep.
when she’d finally recovered, she went back to her normal, healthy self within days, much to the utter relief of her parents.)
“it wont have snot like nini did, although some plants do get a little…gross, when theyre not feeling well. but plants can get sick, and they can better, just like nini!” she pets jihaes hair.
“woah. and you can teach me how to help them get better?” the little girl looks up at her mother hopefully.
“i can. just follow my lead, and youll be an expert in no time!” rumi stands up and begins showing her daughter each plant, explaining what they were, how to care for them, and how long to water them for. she does the same up in the greenhouse afterwards.
the entire time jihae watches in and listens in utter fascination, excited to learn everything she can.
a few days later, rumi comes back home with a few small plants, all of which are of ill-health. mira and zoey tease her about it, “really ru, more new plants?” although she can tell they’re only joking. she explains to them why shes brought them home (to teach jihae how to take care of sick plants) and they brighten as they realize their daughter has a new hobby she can do with her mother (at this point, jihae has also shown an interest in dancing, although her little three year old legs are uncoordinated, and animals, although she still gets certain species mixed up, so now she has an interest she shares with all three of her mothers).
johae does nurse those plants back to health, eventually. when she realizes how much better theyve gotten, she gets so excited she squeals and jumps around, singing louder than she’s ever sung before
rumis routine is now spent with company, at first teaching her the ropes, and then, over time, as jihaes learns, done in tandem. jihae names each of the plants when she’s little, and rumi sticks labels on each of them to remember “who’s who”.
they make a schedule for when each of them will take each of the plants, so that they never overlap. they sing together, forming their own songs on the spot (zoey walks outside to listen to them once and teases them that they may very take over her job as songwriter soon. rumi kisses her and says “never, sweetheart” while jihae fake gags in the background at the sight of her parents physical affection). jihaes singing gets better all the time.
now, when rumis sick, she doesn’t get up to take care of the plants, because jihae has it all covered. she also takes care of them whenever her parents are away.
eventually, when jihae and her sisters move out (which mira and zoey both spend the entire process of moving them out wailing loudly about), rumi gives her some plants to bring with her. theyre the ones jihae nursed back to health all those years ago. she knows their names by heart by now, the labels long since faded. rumi wishes farewell to each plant, kissing a leaf on each of them goodbye, and singing a short song for them, before she tearfully looks up, and sees jihaes face wet with tears. she kisses her daughters forehead, and wishes her farewell too.
(rumis daughters visit their parents and younger siblings every week. jihae greets each of the plants by name every time. rumi does the same at her daughters’ new home when they visit them. she also calls every new plant jihae gets “a new grandchild!”)
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