absolute nothing

not for Twitter refugees

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Sorcerer: [defending the party] Fighter hasn’t done anything. Monk hasn’t done anything. Neither has Druid. All Ranger is guilty of is bad taste. Bard… Well, they've done a lot of things, but that’s not a crime.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Warlock: I am the problem here, I am Fully Aware. But I've made the decision to inflict me on everyone else.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Fighter: HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA Artificer: I don’t have the time to devote any thought to whatever idiotic idea you’ve come up with now, Fighter- Fighter: triple barrelled shotgun. Artificer: … I’ll get right on it

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

Meanwhile, on Twitter:

Brain farts, a thread

[petermorwood]

Reblogging this once again because, once again, it made me laugh.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Moth: *repeatedly slams into computer monitor* Ranger: It's not a touch screen, Druid, you have to use the mouse

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Bard: Describe your average night Fighter: They wear suits of armor Bard: No I mean at bedtime Fighter: They probably take it off

[icantdealwiththis-fuckyou-deact]

Welcome back to its really hot and I’m going to murder someone

[icantdealwiththis-fuckyou-deact]

Guess what time it is!!

[pormpf-spimperton]

Guess you could say it’s

[pormpf-spimperton]

Guess you could say you’re

[pormpf-spimperton]

Guess you could say you’re getting heated

[icantdealwiththis-fuckyou-deact]

Oh my gosh

[scottandhiskind]

Sometimes Reddit is hilarious:

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Ranger: So my partner- Bard: You have a partner? Ranger: I do, the whole time you’ve known me. Bard: Oh. I always thought you were feral. Ranger: Er, do you mean ‘single’? Bard: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"We have, we have too many methods of teleportation. This is like that ****ing fox and chicken and wheat puzzle, riddle, thing. **** it, I'm drawing a diagram."

-planning a 7 teleport travel plan and heist, accounting for four separate methods of teleportation, recharge times, and having to pick up two of the methods en route.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Switch classes already

Wizard (My sister): I’m casting fireball!

Barbarian (Me): Dude he’s immune to fire. 

Wizard: Right shit. I forgot. Uhhhhh.

~~~~~

Wizard: Hey [Barbarian] how much does the greater healing heal?

Barbarian: Ah shoot. 4d4? I think?

Wizard: Lol I need it. 

Barbarian: Well if you stuck back and didn’t charge in you wouldn’t. 

Wizard: Right. Good point. 

~~~~~

Rogue: Nice job on that strength save [Wizard].

Barbarian: A nat 1 for me. Man, my guy is jealous!

Wizard: I may not be wise but I can lift!

Rogue: You didn’t skip leg or arm day! 

~~~~~

Barbarian: Hey DM I’m proficient in arcana, can I give wizard advantage?

Wizard: Lol no you do it, I’m not proficient.

Barbarian: Hey DM can Wizard help me and give me advantage? 

~~~~~

DM: COULD YOU TWO JUST SWITCH TO THE RIGHT CLASS ALREADY! I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THE CAUTIOUS BARBARIAN AND HEADSTRONG WIZARD!

Wizard: Wow DM. You just put us in the box like that. 

Barbarian: Not cool DM. Not Cool. 

Cleric: Dude you might be mad at Rogue, don’t take it out on the crazy siblings. 

Rogue: Yeah! They’re fun!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"Now you each get to decide if stimulus trama is a thing!"

-DM

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"The most magic interaction I've had in my life was punching different monsters in a cave."

-The Barbarian

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Druid: there's curiosity and then there's patricide

Monk: curiosity killed the dad

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"Oscar's going to take a moment to scream in terror"

[staffs-secret-blog]

Hey can you do something about the bot surge pls

Get fucked lol

[fizzie]

I’m trying but the women don’t even show hole

[staffs-secret-blog]

[fastenwick]

Guacamole

[fastenwick]

It was expired.

This is ultimate betrayal.

I have not known heartache until this moment.

[whatareuevensaying]

Wick, these are the consequences of your actions.

[fastenwick]

I did nothing wrong, is love a crime 😔

[whatareuevensaying]

Sometimes, yes.

[fastenwick]

:(

[levidre-lurking]

Too much guacamole harm the guacamole