He looks at abandoned, traumatised people and goes: "Oh? free adoption? Mine now!"
White Star: "My experimental dragon half-blood--"
Cale: "Incorrect. Sad son acquired." (Acquired: a future egg)
Arm: "Our elite operatives."
Cale: "No, no, my emotionally rehabilitated employees now."
The man genuinely fights evil through aggressive redistribution of resources and emotional support and pettily even dangles them in front of Arm later on, while wearing their fake arm outfits.
Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too
Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on
Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office
Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????
Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you
Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is
Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away
Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again
Imagine you come home from girls' night out to find your STUPID HUSBAND is nowhere to be seen and there's THIS BITCH in your house who has THE GALL to lay a fucking egg in your living room among your terrified screeching offspring
So you drop the nice leftover pot roast you brought home (are those fries on the carpet?) and SQUARE UP, but that rat on wings just isn't getting the message.
So it's time to lay down the law with DINNER and show the kids how it's done. At least this'll put a kibosh on backtalk.
I really do think TCF has several such conversations between these two that just boils down to this in the crux. Cale is just a tad bit less blunt about it, but Alberu can decipher him well enough.
So... here's some "not my circus, not my monkey" memes in context of TCF. Except we all know they do be monkeys in each other's circus and then claim they ain't owning any circuses.
Well, that's because they do be going everywhere to cause chaos, including you, the ringleader clown.
Again, Cale-coded, sooooo....
Choi Han really be the poster kid of justice and good... until you threaten his family. Then be ready to get the royal treatement, French Revolution style.
Yes, Alberu, they are. And yes, Cale is heading them. Get your gold plaques ready.
Yess, drag Cale into the ownership. Drop the responsibility and the gold plaques on him and run.
Poor Beacrox, the collateral damage. Handling kids, destruction and food all at the same time.
Ron is the reason Beacrox is the collateral damage, since he keeps sending his son as the errand boy.
It is technically his territory where his eldest son is running around, doing shit to attain his "Slacker life" that he himself actively be chasing away.
In all honesty, whenever Witira shows up in TCF novel, she always be so confused with the new shit Cale be pulling.
Like, girl, get used to it. This man ain't gonna sit quietly unless he faints.
To me, this is Eruhaben-coded. He be sooooo much enamoured (platonically) with Cale and his infamous bad luck that he agreed to babysit the entire Cale and co.
Our beloved Goldy Gramps, adopting kids at the very ripe age of grandpa.
People tend to forget how smart and manipulative Alberu is, because most of TCF is from Cale's POV, who is on a similar calibre to our crown prince.
But if we look at them objectively, he and Cale are absolutely terrifying. (Alberu especially, given how young he is in comparison to KRS!Cale who is 38 years mentally)
They will not be the type of people you should ever make enemies of. They are better as allies, safer as acquaintances. Never as enemies.
nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions
"i sent this article to my relative" "mom & i were discussing dialectical materialism" you navigate the world with such a different set of parameters than i
huge fan of when the good guys are themed on dark colors and spiky scrappy punk aesthetics and the bad guys are themed on light colors and angelic imagery and order. always such a banger.
