One for one and all for all
Something that initially drew me to Asia was how completely opposite it is of the US. When I was really young, I hate to admit it, I had almost no interest in Asia. It seemed like another planet I would never understand.To a young superficial Carrie, it seemed âlameâ. K-Pop was weird to me and people from China I met always seemed awkward. I wasnât old enough to understand that Asia is just a completely different culture. You could also blame it on how American-centric we tend to be in the US.
If you read about the differences between the eastern and western world, the first big difference youâll pick up is collectivism vs individualism. In the US, we are raised to believe we are special. You can be anything you want. You are unique. You. You. You. You. You. And in our heads, a chorus of âme, me, me, me, meâ.
Thats individualism for you. The mentality that âI would fuck over someone else if it meant me getting what I wanted.â This individualism isnât all bad. Like the ancient Greeks, I also believe that competition fosters excellence. I believe this individualistic culture is part of the reason why the United States is at the forefront of innovation in almost all walks of life.
Collectivism is the idea of giving up those personal desires to do whats best for the group. That is Thailand for you. Always, always, always being a part of a group. What Iâve been reflecting on a lot recently is how this collectivism pops up in unexpected ways.
It first hit me in the beginning. Always looking for conversation topics, I was constantly asking my students âwhats your favorite color? what about animal? what about subject?â. Usually, I get a long âmmmmmmm I donât know teacher. I like them all.â Other students just say whatever the first animal or color that comes to their mind, probably hoping Iâll leave them alone. Recently, I was asking a group of kids - âWhats your favorite Thai food?â I was so surprised when they all agreed - they just like everything. All Thai food. And then one piped up âTeacher, I know your favorite is pizza.â
This got me thinking. Why am I so obsessed with favorites? Why do I need to have a favorite of everything? When I worked at my old summer camp Holiday Hill in high school, I once had a camper who refused to identify any of his favorites. He had severe autism, was incredibly hard to control, and was in my group the entire summer. The first day of camp, we went around and said our favorite sport. He went into a long speech about how favorites are a sham. I remember looking at my co-counselor confused, and then asking the camper to just tell us a sport he liked. Now, I kinda understand where this camper was coming from.
It seems as if favorites are a way to make ourselves special. When I received my diploma about a year ago, my family yelled out âPIZZAAAAâ in the crowd. On top of my graduation cap, I cut up and super glued an old greasy pizza box to read âThank you pizza.â This favorite of mine has become a part of my identity. It differentiates me from other people (not really though- who doesnât love pizza?). In Thailand, their favorite food is just all Thai food, because they are Thai. That is their special identity.
Other things are less obvious. Throughout my year here, Iâve acquired a stupid amount of group t-shirts. Any time there is a field trip or event at school, everyone gets matching t-shirts. In my head, Iâm thinking âI donât wanna wear the same thing as everyone else!â I wanna be different! I wear the shirt on the day of, but donât really ever wear it again. Meanwhile, Thai people cherish these t-shirts. They wear them with pride. âLook at me and this group I belong tooâ is what their wardrobe screams. Even in Chiang Mai, hipster capital of Thailand, all of the young students rock jackets that say what major they are studying at university, or what high school they attended. They are a part of something, and they are so happy to be.
Other things are tiny. They way that no student ever sits alone at lunch. Everyone has someone. The fact that I never have to hassle students to be partners or form group, they are happy to work with any of their classmates. Iâve thought a lot about school culture in the US and Thailand. I remember those kids in elementary school who picked their nose and NO ONE, I mean seriously not one person, would be their friend. We were all too concerned with our own reputations. If I, 3rd grade Carrie Wallace, was friends with the nose picker, everyone might think I picked my nose too (which I totally did and still do). In Thailand, its not like that. A grade is a community. If one student is a nose picker, whatever, they are OUR nose picker. I love that about Thailand. It takes the stress of all of them, and Iâm able to see them flourish in a supportive environment.
Recently, my Thai friend who goes to Chiang Mai University asked me why Americans win so many medals at the Olympics. I told her about how playing sports was cool where I come from, and everyone is encouraged to play a sport EVERYDAY after school and on the weekend. She looked tired just hearing this. She said âI guess its too hot in Thailand to do that.â I agreed. But I also think it has something to do with personal achievement. I see some more of the individualism and collectivism hiding in there.
