Same Same

My Colorful Malaysia. Celebrating cultural and racial diversity.

[samesamemy]

Malaysian Canadian

Farah Ann Abdul Hadi

How did your parents meet?

My parents met when my mother came to Malaysia for her teaching year and my dad worked at a restaurant near the university that she was teaching at. He was their server and my mom thought he was cute and started coming and eating her lunch there almost every other day. Finally, her friend told my dad that she liked him and the rest is History.

Anything memorable that happens to you due to your mix race? 

I love being able to explain to people that I'm mixed and that I am able to grow up immersed in different cultures and ways of life.

Anything you’d like to share regarding what is it like to be mixed? 

Being mixed really allows a bigger perspective on cultures and races. How we can be and look different but we still are human beings. It has thought me a lot about always looking at the bigger picture and understanding that some people have very different cultures and ways of life and we have to be respectful and understanding.

What would you like to tell your younger self in terms of race?

Race is something to be celebrated and acknowledged. We need to look past a persons exterior. Be able to love our differences, things that make us the same and everything in between.

Anything you’d like to add about your family, race, positive impact on the world, etc?

My family has always been the best in showing me that love, respect and tolerance are the right ways to live our lives.

[samesamemy]

South Korea & UK

Gabriel Augusto Marques Pitcher and Sehee Sarah Bark

Sarah is South Korean and Gabriel is from UK, but his mom is Brazilian and dad is half Italian. 

Sarah: The first time we’ve bumped into each other was many years ago in Penang, when I was doing artist residency and Gabriel was living there. Sadly, we’ve only met for a couple of days during that period of time, since Gabriel have had to fly back to UK. By the time he was back in Penang, my residency was already over and I was home in South Korea. 

Gabriel: When I first met her, before we’ve event have had a conversation, I already knew that she’s going to be a significant person in my life. It’s just one of those feelings, that everyone is talking about, but you never sort of fully believe in. But here it was, first hand experience. So even we didn’t spend much time in Penang, one day I spontaneously bought my tickets to Soul and went to see her (of course my excuse was - I am just going to see South Korea). Even nothing romantic have happened between us during my week in Soul, we have had a really good time and kept in touch after. 

Sarah: We did keep in touched and tried to meet couple of times after that, but always something interrupted. There was my show in Korea that he promised to come, but didn’t. Another time I remember I was having an exhibition in Europe and Gabriel promised to be there for opening of the show. It made me so happy, even though I could just have shipped my works to the gallery and stayed home, I decided to fly there myself with hope to see Gabriel. Little did I know that he will end up being in New York during that time. So you can say that I was already losing my hope, but then magic happened and we ended up meeting in Penang couple of months later! That’s when spark turned into flame! Funny enough I wanted to play it cool, so I told Gabriel, that I am coming to Penang to finish my art project. : )

Cultural misunderstandings and fun expeirences

Gabriel: By being a foreigner in South Korea I break a lot of behaviour rules that I don’t know about. What seems “normal” to me, might be “no go” for Korean people. Most of those situations involve how I behave around older people. Like that one time during graduation dinner in Sarah’s university, I pat her professor on the shoulder. Apparently people in South Korea don’t do that to the people who are older than yourself. For me it it was just a friendly gesture of apprechiation. Or another situation during the same dinner, professor poured me a drink and I poured one back to him, saying “no no, you share with me too!”. Apparently it a big no too! 

Sarah: When I am in Gabriel’s house in UK, I call his dad “dad”, not by his name - Edy. Reason being, in Korean culture we do have a special word for “father in law” which doesn’t exist in english translation, so I just call him “dad”. Edy, Gabriel’s dad, finds it amusing and strange, because he’s not used to being called dad by not his own children. 

Gabriel: I guess being in relationship with someone from another continent always comes to a challenge, especially when they are visiting Europe. Before we were married, Sarah came to visit me in London and immigration stopped her just because in her immigration form occupation section, she wrote “freelancer”. Border control took her to an interrogation room and were questioning the purpose of her visit as a “freelancer”, I guess they’ve suspected that she came here to find job. To make matters worse, my phone’s battery died, I didn’t have power bank and immigration officers couldn’t reach me in order to confirm the purpose of her visit. I was waiting for hours at the arrival gate without knowing where she was or what happened to her. The thing that saved us was a sketch book of the stage design that officer found in Sarah’s luggage. It made them realise that she has a full time job back in South Korea.  

Food

Every time we back in Penang our number one choice of food is tandoori chicken : )

[samesamemy]

Lithuania & Philippines

Mindaugas & Amy

Tell us how did you guys meet?

Our story began when thanks to AIESEC organisation Mindaugas went to Philippines to be an AIESEC country coach and Amy was a president of one of the AIESEC departments in university. They have met during the university tour that Mindaugas was visiting as an AIESEC representative and Amy was a president of AIESEC club there. 

M: I remember were were on an open-air pickup going to the top of the mountain and Amy told me she wants to see this place called Hill of Crosses in Siauliai, which happened to be in Lithuania! That was a pleasant connection. 

After 1,5 years of my time and our dating in Philippines it was time for me to go back, but we still kept in touch via Skype for almost 1,5 years till we agreed to meet somewhere in between Lithuania and Philippines. Believe it or not, but that halfway was India! 

It happened so that in India we both have gotten the job in the same company, same department, under same supervisor and even sat at the same workstation. It was pure coincidence, but it was a sign. It became clear that we are meant to be together and after working for 1 year in India we’ve decided to move to Lithuania. 

How was your transition to Lithuania?

A: Transition to Lithuania for me wasn’t difficult. I remember it was summertime, so it was perfect. I’ve appreciated the longer daylight, because back home sun rises at 6am and set at 6pm all year long. Even thou in Philippines we have warmer summers, I love the seasons in Lithuania, especially the transition of them. Another thing I appreciate living in Vilnius it’s distances. Having lived in Manila all my life and spending hours in traffic, I was delighted to know that I can be anywhere in town within 15 minutes. I think I have had bigger cultural shot moving to India, than to Lithuania.  

Any fun cultural experiences in Lithuania? 

M: Talking about fun cultural differences that happened to us, we have this one experience, that we call it “Anti-Freeze” story. 

One cold winter day Amy and I were driving to a shop, talking about what we will buy, making grocery list and Amy said “Oh, I saw this guy in the bus stop, all wrapped up in warm winter clothes and holding this huge bottle of drink, with the laber “Anti-Freeze*”. Let’s not forget to buy it! It should keep me warm during cold winter days!”

A: Yes, then I said “I think it will be good for me to have it during this winter, to keep me warm”. I thought that “Anti-Freeze” is something people drink here during the winter to keep them warm. : ) 

What was your first impression of Lithuanians?

A: All the people I’ve seen on the streets, bus stops, shopping malls, people that I didn’t know, they all looked emotionless. Like they are minding their own business and not paying attention to you, complete opposite of Philippines. Everyone is wearing dark color clothes, when in Asia it’s always full of colors. But having said that, this is what I’ve observed on the street, in the public space. Everything changes once you go to the smaller circles, visit their homes, get to know them. Then people suddenly warm up and become chatty, friendly. For example if you go to the market, nobody pays attention to you, but once you start talking to them in Lithuanian - “Good morning, how much does this cost?”, everyone suddenly cheers up and starts smiling, because you spoke to them in their mother tongue. Communication is the ice-breaker! 

*P.S. For those who don’t know “Anti-Freeze” is a liquid, typically one based on ethylene glycol, that can be added to water to lower the freezing point, chiefly used in the radiator of a motor vehicle.

[samesamemy]

Ghashghai & North Indian

Zeeba Khan

My mother is from the Ghashghai Turkish tribe in Shiraz (she’s Shia), Iran and my father is from North India (and is Sunni). Our family in India chose to settle in Bhopal in the 1960s.

They have met at a university professor’s funeral in Texas when they were both students. It was love at first sight. My mother thought my father looked like Rajendra Kumar, a famous Bollywood actor, and my father thought my mother was beautiful. They got married and never went back to live in their home countries. 

It’s a privilege to be a blend of different ethnicities. Our home environment was so rich growing up because of all the culture and traditions from both sides – languages, holidays, food, religion, spirituality, clothing, literature, music, movies, family, love, and travel. Additionally, I grew up in countries that were not my parents’ home countries. I was blessed to have a vast exposure to many different cultures while growing up. It’s amazing how warm and welcoming people are to you if only you make an attempt at speaking their language.

Tell me something that will inspire and empower people like yourself?

Identify 100% with all of you. Don’t let society or other people define you with labels of “Oh, so you’re 50% this and 50% that.” No, you’re 100% of all your cultures. You’re not any less than someone who is 100% of a particular ethnicity. You are simply richer because of your exposure to different cultures at home while growing up.

What would you like to tell your younger self in terms of race? 

Don’t worry about being discriminated against. It’ll happen. You have to be authentic. People will either accept you or reject you, so you might as well have it be on the basis of the REAL you. While it’s true that you are representative of your ethnic group and that a positive interaction with you will help to debunk peoples’ negative stereotypes about your people, it is not your personal responsibility to change their minds. Be you – with your wildness and magic and don’t focus on meeting their expectations of how you should be. 

Anything you’d like to add about your worldview to inspire others?

It was because of my deep desire to teach the universalism of all the world’s ancient traditions and religions that I chose a career as a professor of Intercultural Communication and later ventured into Ayurveda and Meditation. I feel that it’s my duty to pass this attitude of embracing others and their differences to the next generation. My mission is to open people’s hearts and open people’s minds. After all, we are One.

Some people become focused on remaining in touch with their roots and passing on their deep sense of ethnic identity to the next generation. But what they forget is that if we dig even deeper, we will reach the most ancient and life-giving root of all that teaches us that we are all One. And that is the most important teaching that we can, indeed, impart.

[samesamemy]

Dutch & Philippino

Leana van der Meijden

How did your parents meet? I’m the worse, but I actually do not know how my parents met... I know! Shame on me. But they did meet in New Zealand. My mom just moved out there while by dad had already embraced the Maori culture for 10 years. And when they had me, they decided to move back to the Netherlands. What is it like for you to come form the mixed culture background? It's interesting since I grew up hearing different languages, learning about different values our families where thought growing up, and experiencing all the things they do/don't agree upon. Was it a struggle sometimes? Absolutely. Did it teach me more about the world we live in? Hell yes! Tell me what is it like to be mixed? People who think they're not mixed might still be mixed. They just don't know it yet. I say I'm 50/50, but maybe I have more nationalities mixed within me! An advantage of being brought up with parents from two different cultures is that you know that there's so much more in the world than the bubble called home. You're exposed to this from a very young age and I don't know any better than that I want to travel and learn as much about different cultures as I can.   People always - ALWAYS get confused when they see my face. I look Asian, but I'm tall, and I speak with a weird accent, and I look younger than I actually am (someone thought that I was 18 when I am actually 29). Getting into a club still can be very tricky. 

[samesamemy]

Malaysians: Chinese + Malay

Shermaine Wong and Izran Al Amin

How did you guys meet?

I: Well for sure it wasn't love at first sight. She thought I was a dodgy malay guy and I just thought she was stuck up :p

S: True! I met him through a friend and thought he was such a snob!

3. What was the thing you loved about each other most?

I: I loved how independent her characteristics were evident even when we first started dating. She was always self motivated and had clear goals. Must be her tiger mom's great upbringing! 🐯

S: He's such a kind and generous soul. He's the oldest of 3 siblings, both sisters, he's always putting his family first before his needs. I'm an only child myself and that's a great trait I learnt from him, to always give and be sensitive to people's needs.

4. How did your parents reacted to that fact that you both are of different cultural backgrounds?

I: I'm lucky to come from a family that has had many interracial marriages, and it helps that my mom is half Chinese (my late popo had a profound influence in me growing up) so generally they were receptive. They just wanted to know the person, not her background.

S: At first not so well, my mother and grandmother were especially concerned about how I would "change" and lose my Chinese ways and heritage, especially if I convert. Izran persuaded me to stay patient and have faith, and always SHOW them how I've become a better person and daughter after understanding Islam better. Through my actions and time, their hearts soften and slowly accept Izran and myself, and soon realised how wonderful Izran is.

5. Any fun stories that come to your mind and make you smile that happened to you?

S: The first time Izran spent Chinese New Year with my family in Penang and even though there was communication barrier between him and my grandmother, they bonded so well over laughter and small talk, even though both of them spoke different languages!

6. What would you tell your child about Malaysia you know if you were to have a conversation with him now?

I: Malaysia is and has always been a wonderful place. Your dad has had the privilege of seeing plenty in the world, nd as much as it's exciting, it just doesn't have that warm (literally and figuratively) malaysian feel that only those who have lived here knows.

7. Anything you'd like to add in relation to Malaysia's diversity and maybe advice to the people who are in love with someone who is "different" and for one or another reason is struggling with that.

I: It is normal for a lot of families to be sceptical at first but as long as your partner approaches the relationship with your family with an open mind and is patient, families won't want to stand in the way of your happiness. Doesn't help anyone if you're on defensive mode at first. Charm the elders, we owe it to them!

S: Be patient and show them through your actions - show them how your partner has brought out the best in you and will continue to do so in the years to come - as cheesy as it sounds, love always wins.

[samesamemy]

German Korean

Janina Jerim Jung 

My parents met in a jazz club called “Unterfanrt” in Munich, Germany.

Stories that I remember that follow me due to my mix heritage are various. From kids calling me names in school to people talking to me in different languages thinking I was Japanese, Filipino, Russian or even Brazilian!?

In general, when I’m on the street with one of my parents, people usually don’t get that they’re my parents. At airports people thought my dad kidnapped me. I remember when I was in Syria with my dad, people thought I was his wife!? (different countries, different cultures...).

To all those who come from the mixed cultural backgrounds, I would like to say - BE PROUD!!! Seriously there is nothing more exciting and beautiful than someone who can call two or even more countries their origin. We got the best of both worlds. We may look different than most people and feel like we don’t belong anywhere but look at us - we belong everywhere! Because we’re human, our country is the world and we’re the best example that everyone on this planet is the same and can love the same. Today I am so so so thankful for being mixed race, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Try not to put people in boxes when you meet them. Ignorance has no bad intentions but it can definitely hurt especially young people. So please, be curious and see and learn from everyone around you to understand, when it comes down, we’re all the same.

[samesamemy]

The Portrait of Malaysia

1000 Faces Merged to Form ‘The Face of Malaysia’, a Photo Art Project to Celebrate Malaysian Diversity at the Portrait of Malaysia Project. Read more about it at www.portraitofmalaysia.com

[samesamemy]

Sarawakian Chinese + Melakan Chindian

James Toh & Judith Lee

We met on the job as video editors through a friend that recommended her for the job. I guess love just happened while on the job just like Mr and Mrs.Smith hahaha. I guess that really helped us have a better understanding and tolerance for each other which just naturally turned into a relationship.

James: It is very common for me to be regarded as being more "Indian" especially when it comes to ordering at banana leaf places and being able to drink with her Indian relatives. She on the other hand has quite a Chinese mentality in some aunty ways like liking Jade stones and getting excited about getting a bargain at the supermarket. When we spend time with our friends especially, they sometimes get confused as to how we know each other's culture better than we know our own.

Everyday we learn and discover new things about each other and many a time its humorous because we are both as clueless as the other. The fusion of culture helps because it makes us more acceptant of each other's behaviour and habits. At the end of the day we realise we're really not that different after all.

Anything you'd like to wish to the couples who are from different backgrounds and need encouragement?

We would say go for it! It's definitely different and there's a lot to learn especially when it comes to the family end of things but that's what makes the relationship more exciting and full of surprises. Don't let cultural and societal norms stop you from being together, we've come a long way from having to be in a stereotypical relationship.

What's your favourite food?

James: Anything my mom cooks, Kolok Mee, Sarawak Laksa (being a Sarawakian native) and any curry out there and I guess fried food hahaha

Jude: Enjoys the casual Bak Kut Teh, Japanese, good 'ol Malaccan cendol (being a Malacccan native) and a sweet tooth like a 3 year old.

[samesamemy]

Malaysian Indian Irish

Rachel Henry

I am the child of an Irish mother and a Malaysian Indian father. I love telling this story, so i'm happy you asked 🙂 My mother met my dad in nightclub, she says the first thing she noticed was his Cheshire cat-esque smile, just hanging there, in the darkness! haha.

In my 25 years of life, I have called Malaysia, Australia and the Netherlands ‘home’. While I’ve assimilated elements of each culture into my life experience, I’ve never felt like I had full ownership of any one. So, as much as I ‘belonged’, I also didn’t belong – which can suck because you always have this lingering feeling like you belong someplace else from where you are. The fact is you belong where you choose to belong, and right now, I choose to belong here.

Malaysia is always 'home' home to me. It's where my parents are, it's where the mothership is at – our one and only family house that my siblings and I could always come back to from wherever in the world we were – and it’s home to some of the best food on this planet…. Now, who wouldn’t want to stake a claim to that?!

And I've got a funny story about food. I remember eating rice with our hands in front of our Irish cousins for the first time. It was hilarious, i still remember the look on their faces while telling us to stop because we looked like 'savages'.

To those of the mix parentage I'd like to say - embrace it. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to see the world from more than one perspective. Count yourselves lucky 🙂

[samesamemy]

Malaysian Polish

Pablo Białaszynski

My mother is a Malaysian born Chinese and my father is Polish. They met in Singapore where they both worked during their young adulthood. My father befriended one of my mother's siblings, this sibling brought him to a family gathering at karaoke. There were 13 siblings, but of course he sat beside my mother. Barely conversing due to language barriers, they dated through dictionaries.

Funny thing in my family, because of my "fusion" happens due to my name. It's the norm when my name poses a challenge for anyone who isn't unaccustomed to it, even family. My maternal grandmother doesn't speak a word in English, 'Pablo' was a genuine feat for her so she called me 'Marlboro' instead.

And for the people who come from the mixed culture background, I'd like to say have a bit of fun with it! Embrace whatever the mix of cultures would be and make a culture of your own.

[samesamemy]

Indian + Chinese

Raj & Jade

Q: Any funny story(ies) from your life together that happened due to cultural differences?

Raj: First time I was invited to Jade's family home in Pontian to celebrate Chinese New Year, I was a little nervous. But as soon as we arrived I saw crates of green cans and thought to myself "aaahhh Carlsberg to ease of the edge". After the introductions were done I was offered a drink and of course I said yes to the green cans. Turned out it was Jolly Shandy! I mean which Chinese drinks Jolly Shandy on eve of CNY? Turns out that Jade's family are not big drinkers so, till this day I always say "aaaah married into the wrong Chinese family!".

Jade: Well, this isn't exactly a funny story. But many times when we're out without the kids standing in line to pay for something, the cashiers usually assume we are not together and don't check out the items in one bill until we tell them that we're together. I guess just because we are of different race, they just assume we're not together.

Q: What's your favourite food?

We both love our food! Doesn't matter whether it's Indian, Chinese, Malay...we'll eat everything :-)

Q: What would you like to wish your children for their future in Malaysia?

We wish that they would be able to embrace all the different cultures, religion, festivities, people with open arms and an open heart.

[samesamemy]

Malaysian & Kiwi (New Zealand)

Shuk Yin & Elliot Roberts

How did you two meet?

We met 13 years ago in Auckland while studying at university, we never thought an Indian from Brunei would play the role of cupid in our lives. We’ve been married nearly four years and been together for 12 years in total. Long distance played a role in our relationship for almost 6 years.  

Both of us come from multicultural backgrounds and have family members from different races so it wasn’t a shock to our parents. It was sometimes a source of agitation but Kiwi laidback culture and Malaysia-ness complemented each quite well, surprisingly!

Any funny story(ies) from your life together that happened due to cultural differences ; )

We took Elliot to visit my relatives in Taiping who were very hospitable and kept offering him food which he ate (makan, makan, makan!).  It turned out the food was meant to be for lunch, for everyone. Everyone was too polite to say anything, so more food was cooked! Having to teach everyone to say Elliot’s name properly is also fun – E-lloyd being the most popular mispronunciation…

My first visit to Elliot’s grandfather’s farm, where he lives in an abattoir that was abandoned in 1926, was certainly a trip to remember. I’m a city girl and farm life is very foreign to me. The first sight of his “pet” wild boar coming to say hello created quite a stir as I jumped from the ground to farm fence (about 3 feet high!) One morning, on the same trip, I was told there was a surprise waiting for me in the freezer - lo and behold, there it was hanging in its full glory, a (dead) deer hunted by relatives the night before! Over the years, I’ve gotten better with farm animals…generally most animals.

Miscommunication  and frames of reference make up most  of our funny stories – from trying to explain “lah” and “manja” to “sweet as” and calling people “bro/cuz” … the list goes on and on and the cultural quirks that you don’t notice but a foreign partner does.

What's your favourite food?

Can we have favourite foods? Hahaha! Our love for food and enjoying a good meal with family and friends is probably one of the main factors that binds us together. If we have to pick, mine is Hokkien Mee (actually every kopitiam dish possible), tau yew bak, potato gratin and anything with mushroom and Elliot’s is a good ol’ Kiwi pie, cassoulet, kumara, fish head curry, his grandfather’s scones.

Anything you'd like to add to inspire people about being in mixed culture and race relationship?

Like any relationship, every day is a learning curve and both parties have to work on it. Coming from different cultures, there is probably a need for a bit more explanation on why we do and say certain things. Therefore, patience and communications are needed to overcome this.

The different family, friends, food, language, culture, experiences that you are exposed to are awesome - sometimes they are a source of frustration but the positive far exceed the negatives, it’s a lot of fun. Go into the relationship wholeheartedly with an open mind and embrace all that is offered to you -  you will be surprised at all the things you can learn from each other.

[samesamemy]

Chinese & Chinese-Polish

Chin Poh Nee & Pablo Białaszynski

How did you guys meet?

Poh Nee (PN): We first met in March 2015 when I popped by Fahrenheit 600, the café that Pablo worked in. I visited the café several times after that with friends, but we didn’t properly exchange names till October 2015 when I approached him to be interviewed in a newspaper I was freelancing for.

Pablo B. (PB): It thrills me whenever she visited my workplace - although infrequent - I looked forward to every time. My methods to breaking the ice involved presenting desserts and small talk. It wasn't much, but I couldn't get enough of it. She had more balls than me to initiate the formal meeting, from which we negotiated into several dates.

Any funny stories from your life together that happened due to cultural differences?

PN: Pablo did not look like a mixed-race person to me, so I thought he was genuinely a foreigner that came to Malaysia to work. Plus, I heard rumours that he was Australian. Embarrassingly enough, I once made an Aussie reference to him and he took it in his stride that I thought he was actually an Australian. It was only on the first date that I found out he was born and raised in Malaysia – we were even born in the same hospital (Tung Shin Hospital).

PB: I thought to catch her off guard with my (somewhat) fluency in the local languages and spontaneously challenged her to multilingual trash talking, which led to my fatal roasting. She killed it - and me - but I still love her.

What’s your favourite food?

PN: Banana leaf rice! But what we both like to do together is explore the cocktail scene in Malaysia, especially with the rise of speakeasy-style bars in KL.

PB: We have this thing called Dim Sum Sundays! Mainly it's the time of exploring together that makes the eating out enjoyable, I end up eating things I wouldn't on my own. Oh and of course, the drinks. We love good drinks. 

Anything you’d like to add to inspire people about being in a mixed culture and race relationship?

PN: When it comes down to it, it’s more of who you are as a person that defines you and the relationship, rather than culture or race. I grew up in a pretty traditional Chinese family, while Pablo had a rather “open” upbringing – there wasn’t much conflict, we both understood and empathized with each other’s differences. That’s what makes us an awesome couple!  

PB: It likely won't make sense over night, the process of learning and understanding only gets me falling for her even more. We feel closer as the individuals we are than what the cultural differences would imply. Often, I find myself forgetting there were differences to begin with.

[samesamemy]

Malay Chinese

Fairuz Nadia

The most beautiful thing about being a mixed race is how differences blend into one beautiful harmony. Both of my parents have big families. Mom, who is chinese, has 7 siblings and my malay dad comes from the family of 8. So you can imagine how loud it can be when we gather. But the 'loudness/laughter' are different. One, you have a bowl of rice and typical chinese food while you say "sek fan", while everyone speaks Cantonese, and the other, a plate of rice, sitting on the floor and typical malay food, while we read our prayers together in arabic then speak malay (I must mention I do LOVE having dim sum and wantan mee when I'm on my chinese side, and roti jala with some serunding or rendang on my malay side). Personally, I also feel like we are a lot more aware and understanding of differences.

I have always felt so lucky to have been able to travel to so many countries at 23. But the more I travel, I just get prouder and prouder of being Malaysian, due mainly to our diversity. Being overseas, I miss that your friend would speak mandarin, while the other speak malay, then we'd all go for mamak. My whole life I feel like I've taken granted of that because I never realize how crazily unique we are. I've never been to any other countries that I felt like we could celebrate (inclusive public holidays) for almost every races/religion.

[samesamemy]

Malaysian & Iraqi

We were dating in secret for six months before my family found out because of a photo of us together on social media. Somebody from my friends saw the picture and told my parents about it. I was at work when I received a phone call from my dad. He sounded very serious and questioned me, "Are you dating an Iraqi?" My parents are very old-fashioned and never held a favorable opinion on mixed-race relationships, and were very quick to judge my boyfriend without ever meeting him, let alone knowing him as a person.

Having always been labelled as the rebellious child in the family, I defended my right to date whomever I chose to because I know I did not do anything wrong, yet they simply refused to accept him. They didn’t want me to date somebody who wasn't "one of us" and pestered me to leave him. Every couple of days, my mother would ask me if I had broken up with him. We argued a lot, and it always ended with me walking away, locking myself in my room. I was fighting a battle I can never win. She was embarrassed to speak to her friends because she was never able to answer their questions on why her daughter was dating a man from Middle East. My mother was especially worried because of the way the media portrayed people of his ethnicity as simply people that were up to no good. I loathed the fact that society blindly trusts everything the media feeds them. There are good and bad people everywhere - blanketing an entire race and religion because of the actions of a few is ridiculous!

My boyfriend never told his parents about me neither, because he was certain that they would not accept him dating someone of a different religion. He would often tell me how they looked down on such couples. It's unfortunate that both of our parents share outdated beliefs and feel this way. Eventually, it got to a point where I just grew fed up and lied to my parents that we had broken up. I don't think they believed me, but what could I do? Even my relatives relished knowing that we were no longer "together." We can never experience the freedom of being able to enjoy each others company like other couples do. We have to constantly hide our relationship, and keep our distance in public in case somebody saw us out together, even if it was in the presence of our own friends.

We have been together for two years now, and the more time we spend together, the more we fall for each other. We are inseparable. We make each other a better, more tolerant and happier person every single day. As our love grows, sadly, so does the fear for our relationship.

[samesamemy]

Chinese Indian & Malay

Priscilla Sarah Dominica Soosa and Faiz Faisal Bin Roseli

We first met at the gym I work at. I’m naturally quite shy, so thankfully she asked me out first! But despite only being together for a short amount of time, things are getting pretty serious between us.

That said, we haven’t met each other’s parents yet, but it’s on the cards… which I won’t lie, is a pretty daunting thought! This is mainly because I’m Malay and she’s Chindian, so the issue regarding religion is something that’s quite real.

Funnily enough, we have no issue with it at all. Love isn’t about religion. But she’s received a few comments from her friends about it, and we think her parents will find it quite difficult if the time ever came where she decided to convert.

We might have a few challenges ahead given our mixed races, but I think what we have is strong enough to overcome them.