i finally went for my blood test and i thought iād message my colleague whose husband is in the same hospital where i do my blood tests, i thought maybe sheād be happy with a distraction, but i didnāt really think sheād reply so i put away my phone and realised she called me straight away. she said it was perfect timing because he was going for a procedure and they kicked her out, we met in front of the pharmacy and she let it out, stage 4 lung cancer, spread to the brain, she had tears in her eyes but she didnāt cry, she stayed strong, i bought some pastries at the bakery while she talked, and i listened, commenting here and there, she told me everything it meant and the little things, how sheās trying to do the right thing and she even smiled and we also laughed, she was mixing stories from the doctor, her in-laws, the photo of the little fire she made for herself one night where she sat alone and oh it was heartbreaking, completely heartbreaking, i felt so heavy that when i went back to my car, i cried because what else can we do, us, humans, except be there for each other, everything else is out of our control, and when i went home she messaged me Ā«Ā thank youĀ Ā» and i was happy, happy it made her feel better even for a minute because there is nothing more i can do
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