[sisterofsylandri]

Have you talked to him for more than a few minutes?

Yes, he has like a... Well, how many minutes is more than a few?

Greater than 12.

No, I don't think hit 12, but it's been three to five, a dozen times.

Yeah, he's solid in the three to five, I get that. Anyone's great in three to five.

Not Ethrand Tachonis, is not.

Campaign 4, Episode 26 - Council of Heroes

[tommykinard]

boys being boyfriends

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

I step up to the microphone. "There's nothing sexier than wizards", I say.

The crowd begins to boo and jeer.

A voice from the front row: "She's right."

It's King Augustus Valian of Timmony.

[wannakissrobits]

Good news!

Azune found his sister!

Bad news!

Azune found his sister!

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

The Women of House Tachonis: Terrifying, evil, competent, they speak few words but they make up for it in confidence and efficiency

The Men of House Tachonis: Evil, but with a side order of "why is he doing it like that? Congratulations that's the worst anyone's ever done it", whatever aura they farm immediately lost in tripping over their own dicks

[see-arcane]

Really love that we got a whole heart-stopping beat where our sunset sadman was down, about to start making death saves and then

Azune: Well. This is it. Time to brace myself. I've fallen in battle. Will I see my father's face again? Or is now finally my time to d--

Bolaire, immediately slam dunking a healing potion in his mouth: No You Fucking Don't, Start Chugging

[cobra-creampuff]

forget touching grass i need to touch chest hair

[lowercass]

Alright people, I better see Murray getting a title in Timonny, her own lands, a castle, riches for the rest of her life, her own pack of dogs and a harem of hot sexy people after all of this Marisha fucking CRUSHED that. Give Marisha all of that too what the hell

[bastardash]

You drink poison almost die, a potion appears on your chest, your sword and shield somehow come to you, you're dying, your druid finally snaps out of it and removes the poison, you get rocked by would be assassins as a magical shield envelops you, suddenly a woman with the biggest rack you've ever seen appears out of nowhere and stabs one of the assassins in front of you.

Happened to my best friend King Gus.

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can be trusted in bookstores and libraries and you should take me to those locations

[iceguessie]

The face you make when the DM brings the worst parts of your backstory to the table in a way you weren’t prepared for…

[ceilidho]

anytime they wanna stop staging fake assassinations 🙄 like oh SUUUREEEE the secret service is so negligent that they somehow let someone bring in a gun, but that guy was somehow incompetent enough to miss. Genius enough to sneak a gun into a room with the president but not good enough of a marksman to aim correctly. SUUUREEEE

[ooppo]

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

[ooppo]

Not fucking really

[teaboot]

Three Fuckinh Times Bruh wake me up when we get there

[haffkaff]

You're Halandil Fang. Your brother just died. Your best friend is a sentient object made specifically to kill a god. Your ex's kid-sidekick had a vision of your son fighting the undead as his corpse was being reanimated. You're being stalked by a member of the Sundered House that gave you the deed to your theatre. You killed a man with your brother's sword two days ago (your first kill in decades). You watched the leader of a Sundered House be sucked into a box by another murder mask last night. Your daughter is now sparring with the sword created specifically to kill a god. Your play opens in less than a week.

You are having the Worst Week Ever.

[achillesinhighheels]

[tanoraqui]

Still thinking about Azune giving Enfasen that whole speech about hating Thjazi Fang and being loyal only to the Revolutionary Guard/Arcane Marshals and whoever commands them, which now is you, sir 🫡; and then 3 hours later as mere sidebar to the evening’s intrigue & adventure, saying to Hal, “By the way, do you want me to fuck up that guy for you, the one who hurt your friend? I’ll fuck him up for you. I don’t care that he’s my colleague; but speak thy will and I shall see it done.” And Hal’s like, “Please don’t.” and Azune’s like, “Okay. 🥺🗡️🛡️🫡”

Thjazi left Hal 2 swords, actually. One of them is finely honed, powerful in deception, magical in ways we don’t yet fully understand, and utterly reliable, and the other is the Liar’s Blade.

[animentality]