Sammykat @sammykat666 - Tumblr Blog

Felt very deeply

This is so me

I just wanna be a cute fucking indie aesthetic girl but I unfortunately have addiction, depression, laziness, lack of money and style, and a continuous stomach ache.

I’ve had a coming of age.

I wish I didn’t tho, somewhere in time I’m 12 laying on my floor, and nothing bad has happened to me

A lot of bad things have happened to me now?

I’m not sure why, I wanna be pure but life has made me not. I am mature, but I am still a child as well. A lot I wish I could undue, but I cannot.

Many people have came into my life, some not still in it, but all have changed me. I think everything happens for a reason, but I also don’t know the reason for some things. …

I regret ALOT of my past mistakes, but again, I cannot undue my past. I must keep moving forward.

Although, I dwell on the past often. I find myself not being able to enjoy the present events happening until they are in the past.

I wanna change, badly, but I’m not sure where to start. I know I can change, as I have changed since my past.

I want to make connections with people, but I struggle with that as well. I have friends, family, many many people present in my life. Yet, I still feel no connections.

If I’m being honest, I have no clue who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. I let other people guide my opinion of myself because I don’t know myself at all. Not even the slightest bit.

I’m really trying, I guess that’s all that matters. I’ll keep on trying.

Thanks for listening to my cringe rant.