sam pound is #1

yet another depressed artist lol

[polynesia-deactivated20240207]

rich people i hate u also let me swim in ur pool

[just-shower-thoughts]

A tribute album to Weird Al that features the actual bands covering their own parody covers.

[ifihadthewords]

[poryqon]

mom: go to bed me: there is a new meme mom: its 4 am me: i must capitalize on its success

[epidoted-blog]

psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.

[moonkitty]

writer from 200 years ago: heres a simple story about a man on a boat with no underlying themes

english teachers:

[lilsugarbush]

[cptsdvarric]

@ anybody trying to give me verbal instructions

[faggottt]

[bombing]

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]

[usuallyweepingnacho]

Thank you @phils-thicc-eyelashes for appreciating my blog. I like your blog too. love you bb

[sampoundisnumberone]

(my old username was phils-thicc-eyelashes) love you too bb

[capacity]

People: *showering me with compliments* Me: okay but what about that one negative comment I received June 6th 2003 ? Im trash sweetie

[usuallyweepingnacho]

@sampoundisnumberone

Actually you

[sampoundisnumberone]

stop exposing me like this @usuallyweepingnacho

[serenadidntdeservetogetintoyale]

[danielhowell]

Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY oh there it is

[dark-eyed-harmothoe]

“What’s that musical? The one where we see a teenager’s life go downhill after the death of a classmate?”

“No, I mean, uh— the one where technology basically fucks up with everyone”

“Actually, I mean the one in which a kid almost destroys the school”

“No wait, the kid let’s themselves be influenced by something that no one else can see”

[bassiter]

dirt is basically crushed up rocks right

and. salt is a rock

so is granulated salt…….. dirt?

[bassiter]

are you telling me….. that HAMBURGERS are DIRT

[tejntanga]

No they’re SOIL. Weren’t you paying attention?

[allhumorposts]

*initiates bank robbery with a rubber band*

[5bi5]

a robber band