❝i don't know how to talk to you, i don't know how to ask you if you're okay. my friends always feel the need to tell me things, seems like they're just happier than us these days. yeah, these days i don't know how to talk to you, i don't know how to be there when you need me. it feels like the only time you'll see me, is when you turn your head to the side and look at me differently. and last night i think i lost my patience, last night i got high as your expectations, last night, i came to a realization -- and i hope you can take it, i hope you can take it❞ + var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5330249"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); var sc_project=11034021; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="db03565b"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");
adriana – i’m really grateful she was around to listen to me bitch & whine about my pregnant ex, and that she didn’t spill the beans. she’s a keeper, i trust her completely.
samra – of all the women in my life, she comes out on top. she’s stuck by my side through thick and thin, even if she didn’t agree with the stupid shit i do. i’m platonically in love with her.
elena – for obvious reasons, she holds a special place in my heart and she always will. and she’s really good fuck.
brianna – honestly, i know she can kill me if she wants to. i just know it. but it’d be cool to get to know her better, maybe bond over some chipotle and shitty ass america.
jada – i know is that she has beef with elena, but she’s really hot. like, really hot. wouldn’t mind getting in pants, if she’d let me.
audrey – we’re members of the mile high club, and she’s a really cool girl. she’s always telling me to die, which kinda sucks, but then again, so are half the ladies around here, so whatever.
chloe – fuck off. i am not doing this again.
maliha – my opinoin on mal has completey changed after being handcuffed to her, but i still regret ditching her on our date. and i wanna fuck her so bad, but y’know. best friends with her sister and shit.
ava – i wanna vape with her sometime. but i feel like she’d make me uncomfortable, like staring at my dick or something. not ‘cause she’d want me, but just because she’s fucking weird.
valerie – she won’t let me get to know her better, but i don’t plan on giving up. and i think we have a lot of stuff in common, but that’s just the vibe i get from her.
PARA ↠ paris and you (incomplete)
TAGGING ↠ @samranarzari & @cvlebs
LOCATION ↠ caleb and samra’s room at le bristol paris hotel
TIME FRAME ↠ saturday, june 19th | post club event
DESCRIPTION ↠ samra and caleb have an important talk about feelings and shit happens and honestly i bet 10 bucks bri has stopped replying, but this must live on forever so you can just write your own ending.
samra: wasn’t sure why she had expected this evening with the group to be any different than the other nights she had spent with them all. secrets came out, noses were punched, and drinks tossed all in a matter of hours. instead of sticking around she just wanted to get away, knowing good and well that she would probably manage to have a room to herself -- given what had happened between zeke and zak. all she could hope was that caleb would come back eventually, she didn’t care if it was at five in the morning, she just wanted to be around him. samra wandered aimlessly for a while, peering out from the window of the hotel room as she wiggled herself out of the tight outfit she had opted for that evening. as she turned to make her way to her own luggage, she caught sight of caleb’s, peering around the room as if someone could see what she was about to do. a stupid grin threatened to crack her serious facade as she slipped one of his shirts over her bare torso, standing up a bit so it could hang down her frame like a comfortable dress. “way better than dodging flying drinks.”
caleb: didn't feel like he belonged to the cattiness of that night, the drama surrounding the club was a weight he didn't want to carry. the whole point of this vacation was to relax, not to stir up arguments like everyone was doing. he grew tired of seeing his friends get themselves in trouble and decided to call it quits early. surely that was his only motivation, samra hinting at them meeting back in the room wasn't even part of his consideration. he was kidding himself, knowing damn well that she was the only reason why he gave up on his socializing. he opened his hotel room slowly with his card, appearing quite disheveled with pamphlets from the hotel held between his lips. he stepped in and stopped abruptly, the papers falling from his mouth as he caught sight of samra in one of his shirts. he turned back to shut the door, not wanting to turn back towards her to reveal how flustered he had gotten within a matter of seconds. then he remembered what he had dropped, reaching over to pick them up. first time he had been to paris and the scenery wasn't the best thing he laid his eyes on so far.
samra: didn’t know how to react as soon as she heard the click of the hotel door, sitting up from her spot in bed as she peered over so she could see who it was. she couldn’t help but laugh at him, watching pamphlets fall from his mouth to the ground in a matter of seconds. “you okay over there?” she got up from the bed, nervously taking a few steps closer to him as she chewed away at the inside of her mouth. the disheveled look really worked for him. “i know the door is pretty and all, but you can look at me.” a wave of embarrassment washed over her as she stood there, his t-shirt swallowing her petite frame. maybe she really had ruined whatever they were working towards when she pulled away that night, maybe getting comfortable in something that smelled like him and reminded her of being close to him wasn’t her smartest move. “you planning on reading some pamphlets tonight?”
caleb: had no time to plan a response when he heard her voice from the distance, his hands shoveling up the papers and placing them on the small table beside him. "huh? uh, yeah." was all he could muster from his eviscerated thoughts. the irony almost made him laugh, how she didn't know she was the one too pretty to view without him looking like a fool. he contradicted his intentions and faced her before glancing back at the objects on the table as soon as she mentioned them. "oh nah, well maybe. the person giving them out kept getting rejected by the tourists so i kinda felt bad." he rambled an explanation even though it wasn't needed and folded his hands awkwardly in front of him. "found out there's a lot of things in paris to see, who would've thought?" he added, offering a smile. "nice shirt."
samra: stayed still in her spot, looking over at him even when he couldn’t seem to look up at her. she kept reminding herself of her mistake, wanting so desperately to hide under the covers for the duration of the trip so she wouldn’t have to feel so vulnerable in this very moment. caleb couldn’t even look at her for more than a second before getting distracted by the sheets of paper that rested on the table beside him. “you felt bad for him because no one would take his paper? you’re so cute.” there was no doubt she had a stupid grin plastered on her face, head shaking as she tried to hold back her desire to walk right over to him and kiss him again. “you don’t say. lots of things to do? anything you might want to do with a friend?” that was the last word she wanted to use, but it was the only one she felt comfortable with as she tried to get through the conversation. “i guess the smell of paris was starting to get a little overwhelming. the party, the people, everything. it all reeks. but this, this smells like you. comforting and sweet.” she shrugged, tugging at the end of it a bit as she looked away from him. “and you - you’re my safe place. so i stole it from your stuff and i hope you don’t mind.”
caleb: pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and tried to conceal an amused expression. "i was thinking more along the lines of heroic, sympathetic, but cute works i suppose. no, he just looked like he deserved a break, everyone nearby kinda seemed too into their own thing to pay any mind." funny, that description almost reflected the night spent with the group completely. he could have easily mistaken her inquiry for an invitation, but he didn't think that she would really want to spend her last couple days here exploring places with him, the person she rejected in the most physical of ways. "sure, if said friend was up for it. apparently this place itself has a giant ass pool too." he gestured back towards the pamphlets. he agreed with the beginning of her statement but was surprised to hear how important his presence was. perhaps he enjoyed being around her so much because she was a refreshing calm within a storm of aggressive peers. he sauntered his way closer to the bed and kicked off his shoes before plopping down onto the mattress. "i can't keep up with them sometimes, it wears me out. i really did not have enough to drink." she had just as much distaste for the tragic evening as he, so he began to understand what she meant. "it's fine, take whatever you want. just leave one shirt for me and it's all good." he smiled up at her from where he was laying.
samra: couldn’t tell if caleb was trying to play it cool or if he hadn’t been impressed by her compliment. he had no reason to be after what she had done, but maybe if knew the truth then he wouldn’t be acting so coy. it was too late for that now, so instead she listened to him talk about the strangers on the street who he had been so kind to only moments before. out of everyone in their group of friends (if they could even be called such a thing) he would be the only one to feel bad for a lonely man handing out pamphlets, the only one who would stop and listen about whatever tourist attraction they were trying to pitch to the typical american foreigner. it was admirable. “i’m allowed to think what you did was cute while also agreeing that it was also heroic, sympathetic, etcetera.” she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him as he began to make his way to the bed, wondering if she too could move alongside him. “a giant ass pool? i would say we should go right now, but you look a bit tired. can’t say i blame you after everything that just happened. i don’t think i will ever have enough to drink when it comes to all of them. i would have to be blacked out and on the floor to put up with any more of it.” his smile was teasing her, just like his body as it took up space in the bed that she hoped they could share. “i mean, you don’t have to have a shirt. i’m sure you would look fine without one.” a line, a simple line to see if he would play along, if he would take a bite of the bait she had thrown out towards him.
caleb: was purely kidding with the girl about his self proclaimed heroic efforts, but she seemed to take it a different route, throwing compliments at him seemingly seriously. it would've made things easier for him had she just kept her distance, had her entire persona not emit such compassionate behavior. she had become a taunting mockery glaring at him that he had no choice but to watch again and again, this time wearing his own clothing. it was uncanny how balanced out his conflicted feelings for her became, and he was not sure which was worse: having her or losing her. "we can go whenever you want, i don't mind. the water would wake me up anyway," he stated truthfully, though his eyes grew weary simply by the dull light of the lamp beside him. "i'd rather not have me or you experience that kind of toleration." he didn't want to imagine her in a predicament like that, mostly because it was highly likely in a same situation as that night, no one would even notice. he laughed quietly, shaking his head at her comment. "not sure how the paris folk would enjoy that display."
samra: struggled with what to do next, her heart and her head tearing her in two completely different directions. he had let himself be vulnerable before, threw his feelings out to the wolves that night in her room and she managed to ruin it all. instead of giving in to him she pushed him away, suppressed the feelings that had been threatening to spill out. she effectively added to the structure that blocked him from getting too close, kept up the facade so he wouldn’t know just how powerless she was around him. there wasn’t much else for samra to do as he stayed laying out on the bed in his exhausted daze -- she had to take a risk of her own. “caleb.” her right hand reached for her left, tugging away at her fingers nervously as the words that were left unsaid set fire to the back of her throat. “the other night when you were in my room i didn’t really want to pull away. i didn’t want to get off of you or watch that stupid fucking movie and i wasn’t even tired. forcing myself to sleep when you were right there saying sorry to me like you had done something wrong was painful. usually it doesn’t hurt you know, usually it doesn’t matter if i make someone feel less than they deserve because they’ll forget by the morning. you see the way they all act, you see how easily they forgive and forget for things that should never be dismissed. i’m not them. i don’t even know why they wanted me here, maybe it was some kind of package deal. you can’t invite mal without sam or something. i see you sometimes and i don’t get why you’re choosing to like me, why you’re choosing to be so nice to me all the time. i’m a mess. i have parents who don’t even know how to love. i have a sister who doesn’t even know how to show me any fucking respect. and then there is me who is just a fucked up mixture of all the bullshit i’ve been exposed to. i didn’t want you to like me, i didn’t want to hear you say those words and threaten me to return the feelings. alright? because you’re probably the greatest guy i’ve ever met in my whole entire life and i know if i let you in you’re going to realize that i’m the worst person you’ve ever met. you’re going to realize you’ve made a mistake and find someone better -- hell it’ll probably be mal. i’ll have to walk around that campus and look like an idiot because i thought this boy who gave me attention during this dream vacation in monaco liked me. really liked me.” her head stayed down, realizing now that if she even tried to look up he would see what was happening, how she was coming undone with each passing second. “but caleb. i like you too.”
caleb: opened his eyes the moment her tone of voice calling out his name turned solemn. immediately he wondered if he had said something wrong, and if not, what other thing was clawing at that bewildering mind of hers. he didn't dare open his mouth because it seemed that she was going to continue, and his curiosity really just wanted an answer from the source itself. every word she spoke felt heavy, and once again she kept him speechless, a talent not any person could master. he sat up in tandem to her speech, his eyes squinting in concern at the one pouring her soul out to him. it was all hitting him at once, and he almost grew concerned for how much she had kept inside. all of that second guessing had him tossing and turning for so long and yet all along she really did reciprocate feelings. she had exposed her concerns for a future caleb couldn't imagine even potentially happening. she was a lot more insecure than he had thought, assuming that she was the most confident of the two from the start. he felt happy for himself but also hurt for her, not originally being aware of how much she had compared herself to her family. he had stood himself up now, walking over to her. he didn't know if she had anything left to say but if so he didn't let her finish, pressing his palms against her cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss. he pulled away and inched his hand down her arm and stopped at her palm. "you mean a lot more to me than you think, sam. i wish you saw your own self-worth too." his voice was quiet, unsure if he spoke any louder he'd wake himself up from a dream.
samra: stood still, holding back the way her body so desperately ached so that she wouldn’t look any more pathetic. she knew she was crying, knew that she had let herself ramble on for too long to be able to control every reaction that was happening at once. the plan was to stay looking down, to stand until her body gave out, but she could see him getting up and feel the way he inched closer to her. there wasn’t much left to say, wasn’t anything else that she could possibly get out that hadn’t just been said. she could feel the distance close now, thought maybe he would want her to continue on, but instead she was greeted by the taste of his lips. damp eyelashes fluttered shut as she fell into him, giving in to his touch as her frame fell limp in his arms. samra didn’t want to be away from him, didn’t even dare to open her eyes as she felt his hands find her own. “i don’t care what i see. i don’t care about anything else so long as you know that i like you. you scare me, you make me feel like i’m walking on train tracks, like i can get hurt any second. but you also make me feel like your own little moon, orbiting around you safely without getting to close.” she let her eyes open up now, surprised that she was even still standing there with him. “i just hope you don’t mind that i’m tired of being so fucking far away from you.”
caleb: noticed the tears forming in her eyes that made them glisten. a beautiful image, yet all the same so sorrowful. he wouldn't have been able to completely understand the amount of pain she had felt, but her stare displayed enough. all this time when he was a physical vessel for her to rely on, he didn't know how much she was hiding. he could've been there for her emotionally, but it was a matter he clearly had no control over. he reached up to wipe her tears away gently with his thumb. he patiently listened to her go on and gave her a small smile even though her eyes were shut. once she opened them again he sighed, moving his pointer fingers up and down along her wrists. "if you give me the chance, and come closer, i promise. i promise i'll never hurt you, ever. i would never let anything happen to you, and i'll especially pull you off those tracks." he breathed out a shaky short laugh, adding to her figurative speech.
samra: would never understand why she loved the feeling of his fingertips trailing up and down the most innocent parts of her skin so much. something about how gentle he could be with her without even realizing it made her feel like she was something he didn’t want to hurt, someone that was meant to never fall apart in the safety of his arms. “honestly, i think i was the train running you over a few seconds ago with all of that word vomit that just came out.” she could feel the smile on her face doubling in size, leaning in to give his lips a soft peck. “i trust you and i’m sorry for being such an idiot all this time. at least now you know so hopefully that helps a little bit.” her right hand reached up to cup his cheek, realizing now that she had no desire to be away from him for the remainder of the evening. “you looked so cute all night i was practically drooling it was such a travesty.”
caleb: couldn't wrap his mind around how much he admired her, how surreal this moment felt for him. "to think that i was willing to stay just friends with you for the rest of my life just so i wouldn't lose you. i'm glad that happened, i'm glad you told me." it was good to see her smiling again, he felt whole once more. "don't apologize for that, and it helps a whole fucking lot." his vague response concealed way bigger of an explanation. he smiled at how freely she reached forward to touch his cheek, this time not compelled to pull away out of her own self doubt. "yeah? imagine how i felt, seeing you in this get up let alone what you wore earlier." he tugged at the bottom of the shirt lightly.
samra: let her thumb graze his cheek gently as she listened, feeling as if she was on a cloud that would never come down. this was all really happening and nothing inside of her said to pull away, if anything she wasn’t sure she was close enough to him as she wanted to be. “is it lame that i would have done the same exact thing? imagine that. me not saying anything and just being a jealous mess if you ever picked anyone else. i’m starting to feel a bit better about letting my guard down now.” he was being vague, but she didn’t care, she couldn’t care, not when his smile was making her want to melt into him. “yeah? and do you like it? nothing else is on underneath you know.” she looked up at him innocently, biting down on her lip as she felt him tug away at the shirt. “i’m not even going to talk about this,” her hands gestured to the outfit he had yet to change out of. “it was hard enough trying not to stare at you all night and then you had to look really fucking hot? were you trying to kill me or what?”
caleb: thought about what she had drawn out, a scenario where the tables were turned. he found it hard to visualize, mostly since she was all he could think about for so long now. he didn't think he'd be able to hold back his thoughts until they exploded out of him. he just wouldn't be able to keep himself quiet when someone so perfect was within his grasp. he couldn't even imagine himself picking someone else. "sounds like a nightmare." he mumbled against the skin of her collarbone, not desiring to dwell on such a thought for any longer. he finally had gotten what he wanted, and he didn't want anything to ruin that. the moment she became suggestive, his eyes widened. she wasn't subtle. his hands brushed downwards from her wrists and rested on her outer thighs, bringing them upwards slowly just below the hem. "is that so," he paused, nearly scoffing at her remark. "i think you're the one doing the killing, sam." he stepped backwards a little towards the bed, moving her along with him with his hands still placed on her.
samra: didn’t bother with a response as she felt the way that his words left his breath hot against her collarbone. there was no denying the attraction she felt towards him, no denying how badly she hadn’t want this to happen -- them to happen. “caleb,” she hadn’t even meant to let his name spill from her lips, her heart racing as his hands brushed downwards to rest along her outer thighs. samra nodded her head, knowing that any other word from her would just be mindless babble about how good his hands felt as they rested against her skin. “says the boy with the hands that are making me absolutely weak.” she could feel the way they inched closer to the bed, taking it upon herself to push him back into the mattress in an effort to get one step closer to what she wanted. “i’m sorry if my choice of attire, or lack thereof, is distracting you.” her hands moved down to where his had just been, sliding the fabric upward to expose herself, crawling on top of him as quickly as she possibly could.
caleb: couldn't tear his gaze off of her even if he tried, her figure magnetizing his entire attention. he heard her speak out his name so sensually and he nearly shut his eyes to suppress a groan. his elbows softly pressed against the bedding once she felt him push him backwards. every small word she spoke teased at his inclination, his need to feel every inch of her supple skin. he had begun to open his mouth to offer a suggestion, in which involved the distraction of sorts being rid of altogether, but she already had the right idea when he watched her lift up the shirt. "shouldn't be a problem for much longer," his hand pressed against the back of her neck to pull her closer, meeting their lips once more with his free hand pushing at the buttons of the fabric.
samra: hadn’t been expecting this to happen, had no idea that caleb would want her in such a way. her frame settled comfortably on top of his, giving in to his hold on the back of her neck as she leaned in for a better taste of his lips. “i want you,” the words were barely audible as she mumbled them against his skin, trailing a path of kisses down from his lips to his neck as she let his free hand fumble with what had been keeping her covered. each touch from caleb set her skin on fire, leaving her in a daze as she began to rock her hips into his lower body, desperate for a bit of friction to ease herself into him.
caleb: separated the buttons one by one, trailing upwards toward the collar. once the shirt hung freely against her, he slowly pulled the fabric away from her shoulders, sliding it down her arms and revealing her bare chest as he felt her lips meet the same place she touched the first time they had this sort of escapade. just three words and he felt like he had finally won something he had been reaching toward for so long. not that sleeping with her was the first and most important reason behind all of this. it just felt good that they could finally hold each other in their arms, have their skin meet where they couldn't before and physically express once unmentioned feelings for the other. his hands held her hips while his bit his lower lip, her motions already igniting pleasure out of him. as he sat up further, he turned them over so that she lied on her back, proceeding to mimic her actions as his lips sucked on the softness of her neck.
samra: couldn't help but let out an innocent gasp as the oversized shirt fell from her frame, exposing her bare chest. normally she would sit tall, act as if she knew what she was doing, but with him it felt different. there was room to be vulnerable, space to be shy about being so bare in his presence. samra let him lay her down on her back, arms reaching up to drape around his neck loosely as his lips worked away at her skin. it had been so long since she felt this kind of compassion, so long since teeth grazed her flesh, since someone left any presence of affection on her. "mmm," instead of moaning she giggled, wanting so badly to not look absolutely weak from the way he was so subtly touching her. "baby," the pet name seemed so easy to say out loud, especially as her fingertips move down his chest, fumbling with his own shirt now, not wanting to be the only one this exposed. not to mention the thought of their bare bodies pressed together made her needy for more.
caleb: loved hearing her voice call out affectionately into his ear. the small laughter she produced allowed him to smile against the curve of her shoulder before he lifted his head to look into her eyes. his view panned downwards then back up again, shaking his head in disbelief. "you're beautiful." his fingers followed hers to help with the shirt this time on his own back, eventually getting it to come off and throwing it to the side. he tried to not think with every movement he made, knowing that if he let himself get swallowed up in his motions, his nerves would kick in. there was a pang of pressure within him that he didn't want to acknowledge, but was it inevitable when finally being with the one person he truly cared about? his hands moved up her waist and his mouth kissed the top of her breast. caleb took his time with meeting every curve while navigating his way lower.
samra: took in every detail, from the smile that pulled at his lips, to the way his eyes seemed to examine every inch of her bare body. it was almost as if all of her nerves, every bit of fear that had previously taken her over was gone. now it was just the two of them, every last feeling she had out in the open, more vulnerable now than she had ever dreamed of being before. “you’re perfect.” she hadn’t even thought she would be able to get the response out as her breathing pattern grew unsteady, grateful for the clothes that had been removed and added to the pile on the ground. “caleb,” there it went again, his name. it was like she had never said it before now, before this night and now she couldn’t repeat it enough times. over and over again as she looked down at his lips. “only if you want this.” her fingertips ruffled through his hair, not wanting to make him feel like just because she made some kind of grand gesture with her unorganized babble he had to give in to her desires. though it was getting hard to focus as his lips moved lower, samra’s back arching the slightest bit as she readied herself for what would come next.
caleb: teased at her hipbone, wanting every second passing to make her flustered. a groan vibrated against her skin. "i love it when you say my name." he wouldn't have thought twice about doing this with her had she not asked, and he lifted his head again to look up at her, to see if she really wanted this too. "i've been wanting this since i met you," the honest words felt awkward when said out loud, causing him to backtrack. "what i mean is, i wouldn't ever not want this. if i didn't want this i'd be crazy. do you want this?" he questioned for confirmation, even though her previous words answered that already. "because," he continued to kiss her body, slowing himself down even more. "i can stop."
samra: kept her eyesight down towards him, using her elbows to prop her up slightly as she shook her head. “i love when you say my name, i love when you kiss me like this, and i love that you’ve wanted this for that long because i have too.” samra laid herself back down against the mess of pillows, letting her right hand trail down her bare upper body until her fingertips were reaching down to mess with his hair. “i swear if you stop i’m going to be so mad at you, you’ve got me all needy now.” it was hard to tell how much teasing from his kisses her body would be able to take, hard to tell how much longer she could go without so obviously showing him just how excited he was making her.
caleb: allowed her quick answer to be his cue to lower his head and go down on her, moving his tongue in circles to taste her. he wanted to prove himself that night, that he was worth letting her emotions break her walls down. any inch of doubt, no matter how small, he wanted to erase from her mind. the way she was like putty in his hands aroused him, the power he held in his hands at that moment that made her react in the slightest of movements, arching her back being one of them, had him accomplished. his hand placed itself near the lowest part of her back, running it up and down that small area.
samra: lifted her hips up the slightest bit to give in to the pleasure brought forth from his tongue, legs spreading further as she tried to ease her center closer to his lips. she hadn't been expecting caleb to go down on her within seconds, hadn't expected it to feel so good as his tongue lead her body down a euphoric spiral. "caleb," his name left her lips a little louder now as her hands reached out, nails digging into the sheets as she tried to keep any bit of composure she may have left in her. she didn't want him to stop, didn't want him to pull away and end the pleasure, but she wanted him to feel just as good as she did. "baby come here," samra whined innocently, desperate to taste herself on his lips.
“i finally told my mom that i’m going to have a kid soon, and she immediately started going off about the best hospitals in california, and buying a sturdy crib, and baby showers… moral of the story, use protection, pals.”
"i mean, i probably could have given you that little tip before all of this nonsense. but what do i know, hmm? you going to fight for custody or try your best to share the little tike?”
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