Sam's Shitty Poetry

I post once a week on Wednesday as long as I've got material to post. Just posting my shitty poetry that I can't convince my friends to read. Didn't think I'd have to say this, but if you comment or reblog something of mine with bigotry, you'll be blocked.

[samsshittypoetry]

Sometimes I see it

The part of my reflection

That connects me to them

And I shudder correct it

And I try to move on

pretending I didn't

Burn an image into my mind

Where my mother's voice

Came out of my mouth

[samsshittypoetry]

Do you miss her

Your strong, sad little girl

Don't you miss holding her down

Under the water

Watching the bubbles stop

Before pulling her back up

Don't you miss me

The son you don't recognize

Don't you miss kicking me

While I'm down

It must be terrible being a mother

With an empty nest

[samsshittypoetry]

You are made of stardust

And I am made of dirt

Your eyes are filled with wanderlust

And mine are pouring out hurt

Your tender hands hold a future

My calloused hands make wrongs

You look at me with displeasure

And I greet you with songs

Your voice inspires generations

And mine makes ears bleed

You'll go on to lead nations

Just let me sit next to you, I plead

Your delicate hatred fills me with dread

Yet I'll still look up at you

You are made of stars long dead

But I'm made of them too

I am dirt and stardust withal

We all are intertwined

Entropy comes for us all

You won't be the one left behind

[samsshittypoetry]

Her heart is calloused now, but it was tender once

Skin toughens beneath the weight of friction and pain

Love is not soft, it is years of laboring without fruit

[samsshittypoetry]

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan I'd be somewhere tall,

Cause tan-tan hates feeling so small.

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan I'd go to a high place,

Cause tan-tan loves taking up space.

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan I'd be way up high,

Cause tan-tan loves looking at the sky.

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

If I were a tan-tan where would I be?

Sadly I'm not tan-tan, I am me,

So please help me find my baby tangerine!

[samsshittypoetry]

I grew up with two absent parents

One of them just believes they were there

Though neither would recognize me in a crowd

I was just an add-on for my father

Something to flaunt to the ladies

When he needed them to think he'd be a good dad

I was just an extension of my mother

A way for her to get a fresh new start

She forced me into the path she never tread

I was a mother to my little brothers

I filled the space my parents left

They call me mom more often than my name

My grandparents are my heroes

Despite everywhere they go wrong

They picked up the pieces of my broken family

[samsshittypoetry]

I have never shown myself any kindness

Not when I was you nor as I am me

I look back at who I was with scorn

What a stupid and deranged girl you were

I always forget that I was once you

And I'm smarter than I give myself credit for

You knew things I'm just figuring out

I don't want to remember who I was

Pretending it's you vs me let's me hide

And ignore that all that happened to me too

For once I'd like to apologize to you

And hope you're more forgiving than I

[samsshittypoetry]

Heading home for winter break

Grandma keeps the scale in the open

I stand on it just to have a peek

Ignoring how my brain is broken

Turns out grandpa was right

When he asked if I'd lost weight

Now I've got a note where I write

Down every last carbohydrate

Turning down my grandma's dinners

I'm making my own separate meals

Trying not to smile as I get thinner

Wishing I hated how hungry feels

[samsshittypoetry]

Did you know your eyes are brown

Kind of a hazelnut reddish brown

I wish I could see me through your eyes

My eyes are a mix of blues

The kind that put a sorrowful filter on the world

Holding up dark and heavy baggage

I wonder if you like the way I smile

It couldn't be nearly as much as I adore your laugh

Or even as much as my heart flutters at your scowl

If the eyes are windows to the soul

Yours have bore right into mine

And I know you see me how I see you

[samsshittypoetry]

Why would God be so cruel as to give us free will

In all of his infinite knowledge and wisdom did he not think

What crimes have we seen that he did not personally permit

By allowing humanity to continue in this state

Despite knowing everything before any of it even began

No loving God would know of this and not stop it

No all-knowing God would watch his loved ones die

No all-powerful God would love us if he knew

I will not answer to God after my final breath

God will reckon with the free-will he gave me

[samsshittypoetry]

It's actually not that hard to push me away

You don't have to make me squirm

There's no better tactic to get me to leave

Than my own destructive tendencies

You simply just have to ignore me

On those weeks I'm particularly sensitive

I'll wrap myself tightly in my blankets

And by the time the light reaches me

I will never know what to say to you

To explain why I had pushed you away

[samsshittypoetry]

Eventually I will never talk to my grandparents again, and I'm pretty sure that day will come before they pass.

[samsshittypoetry]

I find solice in the fact that some day I will like my body

But I'm not certain I'll be alive when that day comes

[samsshittypoetry]

I cannot wait for us to grow old together

I love watching you slowly evolve into yourself

You're carefully sculpting your hopes and dreams

Gazing on into bright stars that blaze back at you

I can only hope to watch you walk on among them

And the ingenuity and success will embrace you

But I know you won't be leaving me behind

I'll be working a 7-3, teaching all of the youth

While you're doing bigger things than me

At the end of the day we'll come back to the same home

Cooking our favorite meals in the same kitchen

And even as the greys and wrinkles grow

I'll never get tired of staring into the light in your eyes

[samsshittypoetry]

I want to take you to my hometown

Point out houses of people I used to know

Show you where all the bad potholes are

Let's slide down my childhood playground

And get a coffee together at the local shop

I want to take you to my childhood home

Peel the paint back as if time didn't pass

We can make a meal on my grandma's stove

Clink our fancy champagne flutes together

And roll around in my childhood bed

I want to pull out my old art and toys

Cause I wish you knew me when I was young

You would have loved to know the old me

[samsshittypoetry]

If God couldn't save me, no one can.

[samsshittypoetry]

My limbs shake as I attempt to keep my balance

The pit in my stomach wearing away as my source of fuel

The tips of my hands and feet feel an odd creeping cold

I stumble out into the cold so it can creep into my bones

Matching the weather with how I feel in my soul