Kaltxì! @samtheforceevans - Tumblr Blog

photogevans:

Hmm… does someone regret not moving to New York years ago? I didn’t know you knew how to ice skate! Double bonus that your confident your interview went well.

I don’t. I wasn’t ready for the New York life then. But if I get this job, I will be moving to New York. I didn’t know I knew how to ice skate either, but I found out that it’s just like roller skating a bit. I mean I fell quite a lot still, but I had a great time.

#dash: jackson #dashchat

So far, I’m loving my mini New York vacation. I went ice skating at Rockefeller Center, Saw the big Christmas tree, and went to many restaurants. I’m even confident that interview went amazing.

#btrstarter #not sure if anyone is here

Text | Samuel

Jackson: I'll give them the heads up, but just show up. That's what surprised visit is for. Let me know if my place is in shambles.

Jackson: You are worse than a therapist, you know this?

[a few minutes]

Jackson: Yes... or so he says. No? Why in the world would I do that Samuel?

Sam: Are surprise visits apart of the deal?

Sam: Well maybe you should listen to one of us.

Sam: Because it's true? Why wouldn't you? When you love someone, you should hold it back no matter what. Just hash out everything with him.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: Check in and maybe bring back some more of my clothes?

[a minute]

Jackson: ...What am I not getting? Wait, are you lecturing me? I can talk to him and move on without having to forgive him. Even if he said he still loves me.

Sam: Will do Jackson. Just let me know when they are home.

Sam: Yes I am. You not forgiving him means that you haven't moved on. You can't move on unless you let go of your anger and forgive him. It's not good to have all of that animosity inside of you.

Sam: He still loves you? That is great news. So did you tell him that you still love him also?

#text: jackson #text

Text | Samuel

Jackson: Sounds great. Would you do me a favor and stop by my apartment? I'll let me tenant know you're coming by even if they'll clearly see we have the same face.

Jackson: ...it was given away so easily. We were also young and naive. Young affections are not hard to come by from my understanding. I'm sorry for being a downer... this is what you believe and your brain is a wonderful place full of hope. Baby steps.

Sam: Okay sure. What do you want me to do when I stop by? Pick something up or just check things out?

Sam: You're not getting it Jackson and as long as you don't forgive Edgar, nothing I say or anyone say will matter and you will always have this negative view about love and relationships.

#text: jackson #text

Text | Samuel

Jackson: Someone is being forced to sit through a holiday movie marathon with me.

Jackson: Of course you do... You don't know who yours is but you're so sure of mine? It is sad. It means out of everyone in the world there's a chance you may never encounter this person and go on to lead separate lives. You go on ending up in shitty situations wishing things didn't have to be that way if only you had met a better person. Little do you know, they exist somewhere else in the world. The concept is heartbreaking. He could be keeping it a secret to spare my feelings, Sammy. I don't think so. If he knew we were he wouldn't have ended things the way he did and before Valentine's Day no less...

Jackson: Do you know how weird it is to watch him talk and then fight the urge to not... get closer to him? I sound gross right now I know.

Sam: That would be okay. When I come back, holiday movie and hot cocoa.

Sam: Because you and Edgar's love isn't something that comes by easy. You don't see it everyday. Maybe he isn't your soulmate, but maybe he's something close to it. I get what your saying and soulmates probably don't exist. I get that. I don't think he's hiding anything though. I really think you need to ask him those hard questions.

Sam: It's not gross. Don't fight the urge, embrace it.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: I love you

[several minutes]

Jackson: And you think he's mine? Who is yours? It is cruel because that means there's one person for you and what happens if that person dies? Or if they end up with someone else? How do you know? It could be a secret that he has been hiding... I mean it's him. He's beautiful and his heart was just... I'm making myself sad.

Jackson: Welcome

Sam: Love you too Jackie.

Sam: I do think he's yours. I don't know who mine is obviously, but now that you put it that way, maybe thinking about soulmates is a bit silly and sad. I don't think he would keep that a secret... I mean he could, but I honestly think you two are meant for each other and he knows that. I'm rooting for you two.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: If it gets broken we'll have a Super Bro Day to mend it a little.

[a minute]

Jackson: Because there is no such thing. There is not a thing as one person destined for someone... that's cruel. We were always awkward even when we were together. Why should I? He dumped me. And then what after doing all that? Get it dragged through the mud when he does a grand reveal that he's engaged to someone and couldn't fully move on with that part of his life with restoring the balance of the clusterfuck he left behind. Aka ME. I'm not letting it keep me from being unhappy. I did go on a few dates and there's still that strange guy from the party.

Jackson: Just don't overthink it and just be your beautiful self.

Sam: And this is why you're my favorite person.

Sam: I believe in soulmates Jackson. I believe that everyone has their perfect match at there. It isn't cruel, it's hopeful. You're overthinking this. He isn't engaged. You have been keeping tags on him, any mention of a fiance or boyfriend for that matter? You're just assuming the worst right now. You have no evidence to back up anything you're saying.

Sam: Thanks for the words.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: How is that friendly if it's one sided? Your heart will get broken eventually or if he starts seeing someone exclusively that isn't you.

Jackson: ...I don't know. We're not soulmates Samuel. I don't believe in that. What do you mean he isn't over me? It's been 10 years. No, he wants to rid his conscience now that we're both in the same place again. I doubt he returned to this show to win my heart over again. Not after how our lives just... I don't want to think about it because then I have to think about things that never happened between us.

Jackson: Oh!! Congrats! Don't think like that. Go in with positive vibes and your head high. You got this brother!

Sam: I'm already expecting that Jackson. Trust me. I am just waiting for the day that he comes and ends our arrangement. My heart will be fine. It will sting and heart a little, but it will pass eventually. I would hope that our friendship stays intact though.

Sam: How do you know that you're not soulmates? It's been ten years and you two are probably still awkward around each other, still you have to forgive him Jackson. It's not cool to just bottle all of that up and hold a grudge. Ask the questions you need to ask and see what he has to say and just find away to drop that wall you have built around your heart. I don't want you to let grudges keep you away from happiness whether it's with Eddie or not.

Sam: I will try to be calm and relax. That's why I'm getting to New York on Saturday. It gives me a few days to just be chill until the interview.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: You kind of are which is why I am showing concern because of the fact that you claim it's only a friendly thing. But you clearly have feelings. I'm not the best person for advice on this so just... watch your head and heart.

Jackson: He was my everything... that was the problem. Eddie and I just had this way with each other and I swear i've never been able to find it. But I still can't forgive him. It's petty, I know. But I don't want him to have that comfort to just... move on from me. I feel bad that I didn't move on from him like I thought.

Jackson: More? Like you don't think you'll have a good time?

Sam: It's friendly. I have feelings for him. You know that, I know that, and he knows that. It's hard to protect things when I'm so transparent.

Sam: So you don't think you'll ever forgive him? What if he's your soulmate Jackson? You two are clearly not over each other. Why do you think he's single and he's back here? Maybe he wants to right his wrong with you.

Sam: Oh, um I'm going to a job interview and I'm not sure they will like my creativity.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: I am always here for you, please don't think i'm not. It isn't fair for me to make you feel like you don't have a place to speak your mind. I'm trying with him.

Jackson: Both. He is... Edgar. I'm still trying to make sense of our encounter but the short story is... I hate myself for the way I still feel about him.

Jackson: Oh? Well have fun and bring me back something! Aww, what changed your mind?

Sam: I know you are and I shouldn't assume that you're not. I may be too invested in the friendship anyway. I bound to get hurt.

Sam: I think your feelings for him or normal. He wasn't just an ex. He was your best friend and first love, first sexual partner. He was everything. Feelings like that can be suppressed but won't go away.

Sam: I will bring you back something. I don't know, I'm getting cold feet about it and time is running out. Sebastian said I'm just panicking, but I feel it's more.

Text | Samuel

Jackson: That sounds fair. I can't fault you for that and trying to be normal... even if I don't understand the rules that involve that kind of relationship. You are very sensitive, don't lie. I guess but... it'll take time. I don't know him at all. So far he's barely made the greatest impression on me. I just don't want you to be hurt!

Jackson: I'm sorry. We shouldn't be fighting about this anyways. Its your life and we're not kids anymore. I don't need to protect you. I just have so many bad memories of people like him that I never want to see you where I was. I'll try harder to.. get to know him/

Jackson: He looks at you like Eddie would look at me.

Sam: I love your protective nature though. It warms my heart. I care about your opinion on everything Jackson, maybe a little too much. I just want to know that no matter your feelings about Sebastian, I can come to you and talk to you about things. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep everything in. Thank you for trying to get to know him. He's leaving tomorrow anyway.

Sam: Not sure if him looking at me how Eddie looks at you is a good thing or bad thing. How is Eddie? How was your Coffee date?

Sam: I'm leaving Saturday to go to New York. I'll be gone for a week. I was going to ask you to model some of my designs, but I changed my mind.

Text|| Sambastian

Sebastian: ...that's asking too much of me right now.

Sebastian: I don't believe you.

[a minute]

Sebastian: i'm not upset. Don't read into things.

Sam: Okay well that's at thought for the future.

Sam: I wouldn't just pack up and not say anything. But you yourself said that Marvel is in New York, what did you think would happen if I got the job? I mean they have offices in California also, so who knows what will happen.

Sam: You sound upset. And you can be upset for a friend leaving Sebastian.

Text|| Sambastian

Sebastian: This entire subject is giving me hives... Sorry. Okay, it's the holiday's right? So they need people for charity shit that i'm sure will get a lot of press.

Sebastian: So... you were just going to spring it on me after to accepted the job from them and were halfway packing?

Sebastian: I'm only going to Canada temporarily to film! It's part of my job. You, you're moving away permanently. Whatever.

Sam: Yes, it's a start. It would be even better if you did these things when it's not the holiday season.

San: No, as soon as they made the job offer, I would have called you.

Sam: How are you so sure that I will get the job? Seb, don't be upset. Why are you upset?

Text|| Sambastian

Sebastian: ...more sick brats and dirty jobless people? Why is this considered an image booster? Even i'm not narcacisstic enough to feed homeless people for money.

Sebastian: WHAT

Sebastian: WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON FUCKING TELLING ME!?

[a minute]

Sebastian: Yeah well... now that I see I will be losing my fuck buddy I gotta get my dick wet while I still can :/

Sam: I don't know but it is. Doing things for you community and giving back is an image booster. You're not doing it for money Sebastian. You keep shooting down all of my ideas.

Sam: When I was sure I got the part. They have some offices in Burbank, CA. I just wanted to wait until I knew for sure.

Sam: So you're losing me? See that's why I'm sad about you going to Canada.

Text|| Sambastian

Sebastian: ...Maybe I should get the paps to film me playing with kids again. I will not make small talk with these people who outwardly hate me and deem me a difficult actor to work with.

Sebastian: Why will you be busy?

[a beat]

Sebastian: Yes you are. You were trying to accuse me of tagging along. I don't know what else you're talking about. Just give me ass and be good.

Sam: You could do that, but you would need other things also. Oh, how about you come to the children's hospital and give them gifts and feed the homeless, It may help your image a bit.

Sam: If I get this job, I'll be moving to New York.

Sam: I wasn't. You have very important things to do. I get it. But I'm glad you're mixing business with pleasure

#sam knows or at least he thinks he does

Text|| Sambastian

Sebastian: I'm sick of giving these bitches money. Donating to their fucking charities and holiday trips. Fucking schemes and yet they end up choosing some emotionaless dick for their film because he has more family friendly appeal. Shit if Colin Ferrell can get shit being a public drunk and a playboy, the fuck. I refuse to apologize to ANY of these people! They are crew... they are beneath me.

Sebastian: Yes, yes you are. There is a thing called Skype and taking trips TO Canada. I'm just up the border Sam.

Sebastian: Well, just want to make sure we are on the same page and you are not getting any kind of ideas. I'm not following you or anything weird like that. Of course I will. I like sex.

Sam: I'm sorry people are screwing you over and taking advantage of you. You have that family appeal Sebastian. When you smile, you look so approachable. No one said anything about apologizing. Just start out by saying hello, and smiling politely. And the crew isn't beneath anyone, without them, the show or actors wouldn't exist. They work so hard and deserve some kind words here and there.

Sam: I know, but you'll be busy, I'll be busy. It won't really be the same.

Sam: I'm not getting any ideas. I know this is just sex and a friendship and nothing more. I'm cool.

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