Vampiro Del Smug

Dont even worry about it

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[snoleopard7]

[smugvampire]

Zay call me count dunkula

[encryptidarchivist]

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

[catgirl-kaiju]

hey so... when i was doing surgery on you... this is awkward... i found an evil bone in your body

[smugvampire]

Can I have that back actually

[lesbianbloodritual]

i was able to detect 5 recently divorced mothers in my area using the power of ley lines and this hall and oates cd

[smugvampire]

I could have done zat if I vanted to

[natalieironside]

Alright, quick, roll a dexterity saving throw

[furrytechgirl]

I got a 12, what does that mean?

[natalieironside]

Oh, that sucks. What's your AC?

[furrytechgirl]

Uhhhh. . .

One of these, i think. Probably the cloudy one. . .

[natalieironside]

Sorry. :( Dracula comes out of the scary woods and bites you on the neck like a big skeeter and you take 3d8 necrotic damage

[natalieironside]

One of these days im gonna successfully summon the Time Wolf and then it will have been over for you bitches

[natalieironside]

If you reblog my pinned post you'll receive a random shrine blessing

[smugvampire]

You said zat in the 60s too…

[natalieironside]

Alright I guess I'd better address this

I was NOT in Dallas, Texas on November 22nd, 1963. I was nowhere near the state of Texas, let alone the city of Dallas, on November 22nd, 1963 and I can produce witnesses to account for my whereabouts. ANYONE who claims to have seen a woman fitting my description fleeing from Dallas, Texas on the day of November 22nd, 1963 like it says in the callout post is LYING.

[smugvampire]

I know vhat I saw.

[wizardshark]

You are...

my sire...

my one...

vampire...

[threedollarsdotcom]

just tripped & broke someones evil scepter in the lockers today FML

[spectre-squared]

@evilwizard I FOUND WHO BROKE YOUR SCEPTER, BOSS!!!

[evilwizard]

*points my withered finger* that was Balenciaga, dirtbag

[smugvampire]

On a vizards salary? More like Bullenciaga, bweh heh heh!

[charl0ttan]

you will NEVER be a spooky scary skeleton dancing jn a graveyard playing your bones like a xylophone.

[smugvampire]

Oh noooooo

[charl0ttan]

there should be a cant-miss animated feature event family film blockbuster of the summer this year

[smugvampire]

Suuuuure there should be

[cottoncandylesbo]

i HAAAAATE the blood maze its like why do i gotta walk the crimson halls over and over again. the sad reality of bibens america

[smugvampire]

I dont have any problems with the blood maze

[charl0ttan]

holding a knife in your car with red dye on your shirt is not illegal.

[smugvampire]

Suuuuuure its not

[cottoncandylesbo]

to me vampires wouldn't even be a problem. wouldn't. i'd have it all figured out within the day. within the afternoon even. badabing badaboom

[smugvampire]

Oh suuuuure you would