basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
Zay call me count dunkula

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@smugvampire
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
Zay call me count dunkula
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
🧛 nathing vrong vith me
hey so... when i was doing surgery on you... this is awkward... i found an evil bone in your body
Can I have that back actually
i was able to detect 5 recently divorced mothers in my area using the power of ley lines and this hall and oates cd
I could have done zat if I vanted to
Alright, quick, roll a dexterity saving throw
I got a 12, what does that mean?
Oh, that sucks. What's your AC?
Uhhhh. . .
One of these, i think. Probably the cloudy one. . .
Sorry. :( Dracula comes out of the scary woods and bites you on the neck like a big skeeter and you take 3d8 necrotic damage
One of these days im gonna successfully summon the Time Wolf and then it will have been over for you bitches
If you reblog my pinned post you'll receive a random shrine blessing
You said zat in the 60s too…
Alright I guess I'd better address this
I was NOT in Dallas, Texas on November 22nd, 1963. I was nowhere near the state of Texas, let alone the city of Dallas, on November 22nd, 1963 and I can produce witnesses to account for my whereabouts. ANYONE who claims to have seen a woman fitting my description fleeing from Dallas, Texas on the day of November 22nd, 1963 like it says in the callout post is LYING.
I know vhat I saw.
You are...
my sire...
my one...
vampire...
just tripped & broke someones evil scepter in the lockers today FML
@evilwizard I FOUND WHO BROKE YOUR SCEPTER, BOSS!!!
*points my withered finger* that was Balenciaga, dirtbag
On a vizards salary? More like Bullenciaga, bweh heh heh!
you will NEVER be a spooky scary skeleton dancing jn a graveyard playing your bones like a xylophone.
Oh noooooo
there should be a cant-miss animated feature event family film blockbuster of the summer this year
Suuuuure there should be
i HAAAAATE the blood maze its like why do i gotta walk the crimson halls over and over again. the sad reality of bibens america
I dont have any problems with the blood maze
holding a knife in your car with red dye on your shirt is not illegal.
Suuuuuure its not
to me vampires wouldn't even be a problem. wouldn't. i'd have it all figured out within the day. within the afternoon even. badabing badaboom
Oh suuuuure you would