Brooklyn 99 Sentence Starters
“I was trying to shield you. Do you know how much stress I’ve been under lately?”
“Shut your dumb poem mouth!”
“He’s so suave. Does anyone else get a little bit of a gay vibe? No? Okay.”
“Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot.”
“He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn’t solved is how to grow up.”
“Has anyone ever told you you look just like a statue?”
“Who doesn’t bring their phone with them into the bathroom? That’s like the whole reason to go in there.”
“So, you want to feed the bad guys a lot of soil?”
“I think this is where Batman’s parents got killed.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.”
“No hard feelings, but I hate you. Not joking. Bye.”
“Start taking care of yourself again! I miss those gross, overly large muscles!”
“How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?”
“No one asked you to take your shirt off. Stop volunteering to take your shirt off.”
“Baby, I’ve got some bad news. Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan.”
“Don’t arrest him. Just smack him. Hard. With a phone book on a body part no one can see. Know what I’m saying?”
“Maybe it’s just old person gunk. You know how old people always have that gunk on them.”
“We don’t need guns. I have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flame throwers. Let’s fry these bitches.”
“Alright, we’re outnumbered and unarmed.”
“Wait! Before you say anything, I want to guess what happened based on your face. Someone died. No! You won a prize. I’m not getting better at this.”
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
prguitarman
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
