baby studyblr

sam | nursing student | pregnancy and student blogger | bujo member since '16 | YA fiction, sci-fi, + fantasy

[httpsgone-blog]

The Titanic

This event in history dates back over a hundred years ago and is a very common event that gets talked about. Most know about the movie with the forbidden love story between Jack and Rose- that’s as deep as it goes through in the movie. I’ve always been fascinated with the Titanic and the story of how it sank. The bigger picture behind the Titanic’s sinking has a lot more twists and turns to what most initially thought.

The company that built the Titanic was White Star Line who was known for its ship production. The person that helped to finance the building of the Titanic was J.P. Morgan, he’s also known for being a famous banker and planting the roots for Chase banking. Another thing though was that he helped finance two other ships, Olympic and Britannic- these ships were made as a luxury line for White Star Line.

Now focusing on the Olympic for a moment because it’s a huge piece of this puzzle. The Olympic was somewhat of a financial disaster for the White Star Line company and J.P. Morgan. The ship had various amounts of complications and accidents, but when it had an accident with another ship, it caused the company to be blamed for the accident and have to pay a huge insurance fee. The ship was also in terrible condition and seemed to be on its last leg just by looking at it. The company decided to dock the ship in Belfast, Ireland- the same dock where the Titanic was being worked on.

This is where the theory begins- the Titanic really wasn’t the Titanic and was actually the Olympic. Let’s say that White Star Line and J.P. Morgan wanted to find a way to make up for the money they had lost, if the Titanic were to sink it would give them a lot of insurance money since the ship was just built and was very unlikely to be damaged because of the way it was made. The Titanic and Olympic looked very similar, so why not make a plan to switch them and send the ‘Titanic’ off to sea. The two ships were almost identical, but there were a few telltale signs.

A scientist named Lawrence Beesley noted that the Titanic oddly leaned to the left, something that the Olympic also did due to so many accidents. On the bow of the ship, the Olympic had sixteen portholes and the Titanic had fourteen, then suddenly on the day, it sailed it had sixteen. Another key difference was the windows, the Olympic had very slim and uneven windows but the Titanic had very nice and bigger windows but when it sailed the windows looked smaller.

Another part of this theory is that the SS Californian was purposely meant to be near the Titanic when it sank and that White Star Line put it there to help passengers escape the sinking Titanic. However, this plan somewhat failed because on the night the Titanic sank there was another ship, the Samson, in between the two vessels that messed up the communication and made them confused. A big thing to note is that there were no passengers on the Californian and it only had blankets and sweaters as cargo, perfect for people that just escaped a shipwreck.

Some very wealthy passengers, mostly friends of J.P. Morgan, canceled their trips right before the Titanic was to set sail. J.P. Morgan also canceled his trip because he was ‘sick’.

Overall the whole sinking of the Titanic was a tragic event that cost 1,503 lives, a lot of which could’ve been saved if they filled the lifeboats to capacity. This is just a theory and I don’t wanna disrespect any of those that lost someone in this tragedy. Be more aware guys, you never know when a ship or boat could be switched out.

[samwonder-studies-blog]

what to expect in Chemistry 115+116

for a lot of you, college is coming soon. you may be looking at your transcript wondering what you will be learning in your classes. you also may be judging how well you will do in a class based on similar classes you took in high school. 

for example, chemistry is a black and white topic. some hate it, some love it. there’s no in between. for my nursing majors out there, you will need to take chemistry. it is a gen ed that will be completed either during your first or second year of college. don’t freak out. how well you did in high school chemistry will not determine your performance in this college course. sure, it will be helpful to have learned some things just so that all of the content to be learned in college will not be brand spanking new. however, you will not fail college chemistry if you failed high school chemistry--or barely got by. 

for nursing majors, chemistry 115 and 116 is all about organic chemistry. for the first half of the chemistry course, chem 115, you will learn about types of reactions, the periodic table, electrons, various formulas (math required), and other basic chemistry topics. I call these topics basic because I learned them in high school, and they are honestly not that difficult especially if you pay attention.

now, have you taken AP Biology in high school? well, some of those concepts will make a reappearance in your life. remain calm, but know that chem 116 is basically ap biology through the chemistry perspective. you will become familiar with the nucleus, ribosomes, mitochondria, and cytosol. you will also learn about DNA and RNA, proteins, fatty acids, lipids, and the biggest of them all-- carbohydrates. the citric acid cycle (or krebs cycle), metabolic pathways such as glycolysis and gluconeogenesis, and ATP synthesis will be heavy on your brain. I almost forgot to mention, ATP will be your best friend, or worst enemy, throughout chem 116. 

while a previous knowledge of these topics is not required in order for you to do well in college chemistry, do take the class very seriously and study. learn the material not because you have to, but because you will use this information to save a life some day. now I have overheard other nursing majors complain about not needing any of the material learned in chem 115 and 116 down the road; however, I believe that the information is very vital to your knowledge on how the body works. sometimes my professor shares tips and fun facts with us about how the information learned ties into the healthcare community. other times, I can put two and two together myself and solve a problem.

for example, my boyfriend had a cramp and I remembered that when our muscles are being worked, less oxygen flows into our muscles, causing an increase of lactic acid which is why we feel a burning sensation while working out. I simply suggested that he take in deep breaths while stretching out that muscle, and in minutes his cramp was gone. I was extremely proud of myself for this one, because throughout my three years of playing soccer I was never taught this information when I caught a cramp while playing.

point is, don’t fret about your college courses. each person is coming from a unique background, so professors do not expect you to know much of anything, especially freshman students. my high school, unlike most others, does not offer anatomy and physiology, which is essential for the nursing program. this does not mean that I will do poorly compared to my peers who have had this course in high school. 

college is not as scary as you think. go in with an open mind and the willingness to put in the amount of work required and you will be a-okay. 

[sodium-productivity]

|07MAY2018| Monday ー＊ー 📷 #study 💎 by #sodiumstudy Study hour: 3H03M EXAM today: Solid Mechanics and dynamic 📐

[paindaychronicles]

Term ends on Friday, so just a little bit more to power through :) Patient care final on Thursday and final on Friday. It’s been a hard term, but I’ve learned a lot. Hope finals studying is going well for all!! Happy studying!!!

[lilicriticallanguages]

My Not So Pretty Language Notebook

Greetings, Polyglots! So a lot of people have asked me about my language notebook and stuff. That makes sense right? All kinds of languageblrs and bloggers post at least six cubic tons of notebook inspiration photos a day because they should! But I have always been the kind of person to only passively enjoy notebook inspiration photos. Though the artfully designed and beautifully put together, I always thought it was too much trouble to buy special pens, highlighters, print photos and buy special paper just to make notes for study. It would always take too long for me because I’m not really an artsy person anyway. If you are able to do it, then I admire you! But I’ve never been able to dedicate time to decorating my notebook, let alone use neater penmanship! I’m too impatient. As I study, I want to focus on the language and not the notebook itself. So as a result, my notes seem a little messier than the ones I’ve seen on Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram. My note taking works just fine for me, however, it is the reason I have been hesitant to share my notebook. But without further ado, here is my not so pretty Chinese language notebook.

How my notebook is organized is simple. My table of contents is in the front, my language learning goals after that and then all my vocabulary and grammar notes. Because I’m not using one single method of study, I am grabbing vocabulary from all different kinds of sources. The one in the photo above is from an HSK 6 vocabulary list for Chinese. As you can see, I have listed the vocabulary word on the left side of the page, then the English definition and then the pinyin way on the right side of the page. I do this so it is not the first thing I see on the page when studying my vocabulary. Also notice that the tone is over the character and NOT in the pinyin. I do this to really remove dependence on the pinyin. I only look at the pinyin if I’ve truly forgotten how to pronounce the word. Then below the character, I have defined each individual character in case I encounter the character again. Below that I’ve taken apart some of the character radicals and defined them to help me remember the characters. I do not do this for the ones I already know.

That’s it! Notice that I use no highlighters, special pens, special paper or cute handwriting. If you would like to incorporate some color into your language notes, that is up to you! But if you’re like me and would prefer to keep things super simple, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! In another post, I will share my not so pretty Korean and Japanese notebooks as well!

Do you think it’s a worthy investment to decorate up your language notebook?

Also, if you haven’t added my instagram, you should! I post tips and cutesy stuff: https://www.instagram.com/lili_does_languages/

[mkremy137]

lots of ap study

[gracespdf]

Blank spread 🌸💖 love it so much I don’t even want to write on this one!

[emmstudying]

11.10.17

sorry i haven’t posted in a long time but homework has taken over my life for the past month :( also this is the first year i’ve ever taken nice math notes and i’m way too proud of them 

[writingllama-deactivated2020012]

“Because I don’t have perfect features, or eyes like oceans that you c0uld drown in. So I understand why you don’t love me, and I completely understand why you never will.”

— I Understand / Unrequited Love

[paindaychronicles]

T-minus one week until the exam on the entire first year of med school. Time to kick the studying up a notch! 

[butterflyinthewell]

You deserve to have good things happen to you and I hope good things happen to you.

[ploverstudies]

042618

old math notes, old spread springtime means exam season, so guess who’s been super busy with studying!📚🌻

[samwonder-studies-blog]

“Denail ain’t just a river in Egypt.” — Mark Twain

[nataliestudys]

week eleven, semester two: a moodboard this week consisted of stressing out about tests (i got 86% on one!), marathoning queer eye, and drinking matcha frappes✨

🎶listening to: healing - seventeen

[oracleofdelythi]

hey so it’s 3 days until my first exam today!!!! terrifying? I think so!

I know I haven’t done enough revision for some of my exams, and that can be scary! It’s easy to think ‘why didn’t I start revising earlier?????’ but that won’t help. You can’t go back in time.

Yes, you would probably do better in your exams if you’d started revising earlier, but guess what? You’ll also do better in your exams if you start revising now than if you gave up and declared them a lost cause! Our teachers have been telling us for ages that we can’t just revise a week before and expect the best grade, but it will get you a better grade than not revising. You have no control over revision you did in the past, but you do over the revision you do now.

go, revise, pass your exams, and remember: it will be okay.

[croissaent]

4.25.2018

Wrote my last exam of my undergrad, now let the travels begin!!

Can’t wait to use my bullet journal more during the summer since I won’t be swamped with assignments and exams anymore

[strangershield]

The Mind Reader

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: very mild language

A/N: I’m very proud of this one so I hope you enjoy. I might do a part two if you guys like it and I get enough feedback? Saying that, it is over 5k words so I apologise. I’m back working on requests now x

-

-

-

‘Dammit I have a Spanish test’

‘Her skirt is really cute’

‘Lunch better be good today’

The thoughts float around in your head in an organized chaos. Each thought is fleeting and almost disappears as soon as it comes. It’s always like this in crowded areas. Take the school hallway for example. You lose count of how many people you pass, and how many thoughts cross your mind. Mind reading is an ability you only acquired a few weeks ago but you think you could control it now, to a certain extent. You no longer thought you were going crazy, or wanted to rip your brain out of your head. It was hectic, yes, but it was almost calming. The thoughts could mute out your own, if you wanted, or add humour to your day. Seriously, teenagers think of the weirdest things. Adjusting the grip on your backpack you made your way to first period: chemistry. You passed Flash on the way and almost lost it when he started thinking about whether he should be a full time DJ. 

‘I’ve done two parties now and people love it. People love me. Hell yeah I could be a DJ.’

When you entered the classroom you made your way to the back row. It was easier to concentrate back here as people weren’t surrounding you. You could also discretely put a headphone in. Music helped drown out the thoughts because unfortunately you didn’t need to know everything 24/7. It got exhausting and unnerving. Besides, you almost failed the last chemistry test so you needed to concentrate. You were thankful that you didn’t have this class with MJ. You loved her but she thought of the weirdest and funniest crap. Mind reading was a weird ability to have. It was more annoying than helpful, and so far you couldn’t figure out how to turn it ‘off’. Yes it was harmless, but reading thoughts seemed like an invasion of privacy, especially around your friends. You always tried to not pay attention to their thoughts or drown them out, but it didn’t always work. Luckily you hadn’t heard anything you shouldn’t have yet. Well, technically everything is something you shouldn’t have heard, but nothing catastrophic anyway. The bell sounded just as the teacher entered. Immediately his thoughts entered yours and you were bombarded with his feelings about his most recent fight with his boyfriend. Well this should be an interesting class. 

-

-

By the time lunch arrives you are drained. Today seemed to be extra difficult as every thought was heavy with emotion. Usually it wasn’t this bad, but it got worse when you were tired or stressed. You couldn’t block thoughts as easily so every little idea crossed your own mind. If someone else complained about homework you might go insane. MJ was already at your table when you arrived and collapsed next to her, bringing your face to your hands. Yep, today you were going insane. Her thoughts began to leak to you like an oil spill, and there was nothing you could do but sit and listen to them. Thankfully she was tired today too and wasn’t thinking about much. Ned and Peter soon joined you. You greeted them without lifting your head, the weight of everyone’s thoughts too much. 

“You okay?” Ned asked, sitting opposite you. 

You nodded and almost laughed when he thought, ‘she doesn’t look okay but I’m hungry.’

With a sigh you sat up straight and started eating. Your mood slowly improved as conversation flowed. MJ was preoccupied with a book but you were happy to go along with Peter and Ned’s conversation. Mind reading made these interactions more fun as you knew exactly what the other person was thinking. It’s funny how often people lie to please their friends. 

“So what are you doing tonight?” Peter asked you. 

Shrugging, you replied, “homework I think. You?”

“Stark internship.” He replied quickly. 

Oh yes. The holy Stark internship. Half the time you wondered what he actually did there. You imagined him running around getting Starbucks for the Avengers and cleaning their weapons. It was unrealistic but humorous. You nodded and grabbed your water. When you took a sip Peter’s thoughts entered your mind. 

‘I really need to fix the web design. I can’t be Spiderman with no webs.’

You choked on the water and proceeded to have a coughing fit. Peter and Ned looked at you immediately and thoughts of concern entered your head. MJ simply glanced up then continued reading. You assured them that you were fine and recovered partly. Peter was Spiderman. Peter Parker. Shit. You knew you weren’t supposed to know that, and it only made you angry. Stupid powers. They kept talking but you were no longer focusing. You were friends with Spiderman, and your friend was Spiderman. Your food was forgotten about as you tried to process this new information. Did Ned know? Obviously he did. Peter isn’t that great at keeping secrets. You doubted that MJ knew since she hardly took an interest in your lives in general. A part of you was disappointed that Peter hadn’t told you, but you quickly pushed the feeling away. It’s not like he knew about your powers. Then again, you weren’t an Avenger or a superhero who risked their life daily. More and more thoughts crossed your brain, causing you to physically wince. With your own thoughts it was getting too much. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale.” Ned said as he took another bite of his sandwich. 

“You stopped eating, do you feel sick?” Peter asked, sincerely worried. You wanted to smile and reassure them that you were fine but your brain was on fire. It was a migraine times twenty. You could hardly speak as you abruptly stood up and staggered out of the cafeteria. You think you mentioned the bathroom but everything felt like a trance. After wandering aimlessly you stumbled into an empty hallway. You collapsed onto the nearest wall and slide down it until you were sitting on the floor, knees bent. Immediately the pressure was released in your brain as you were alone, the pain now similar to a normal migraine. No one was nearby so no thoughts could bother you. After a few deep breaths you managed to reduce the throbbing to a dull headache. Sitting alone in the cold hallway, you finally allowed yourself to think. So Peter was a superhero, which was unexpected but not surprising. After all, he was the bravest and smartest kid you knew. But a superhero? He had powers too. That part made you excited and you thought of all of the possible conversations you two could have. He might understand your pain and struggles. You could bond over that. But you couldn’t tell him your power. Well, you should since you knew about his secret, but you couldn’t. No one could know. You didn’t want or need to be a hero. You wanted to be an average teenage girl (who could read minds). He needed to know that you knew at least. But how? You groaned and put your head on your knees and hugged your legs to your chest. Life seemed impossible at various moments, and today was no exception. 

-

-

“(Y/N)!” 

You stopped and turned in the direction of the voice. Amidst the now crowded hallway you spotted one Peter Parker rushing towards you as fast as he could in the sea of bodies. You stayed next to the classroom door until he finally made it to you. 

‘That would’ve been a lot faster if I used my powers.’

His thought sent a joint through your spine, another reminder that he was Spiderman. The two of you joined the crowd as you walked to your locker. It was the end of the day and you couldn’t wait to get home and be alone. Your brain needed a rest. 

“How are you? And don’t say okay.” He said, raising his voice slightly so that he could be heard over everyone. It dawned on you that you hadn’t seen him since lunch and cursed. You didn’t know what to tell him. 

“Um yeah, just had a headache.” You said quickly. You let out a sigh of relief when you reached your locker. 

“A headache? (Y/N), I thought you were going to pass out.”

You froze, your lock combination half done. “It was a really bad headache?”

He looked down and you swore he let out a sigh. Was he annoyed at you? When he met your eyes again he looked defeated and immediately you felt bad. 

‘Doesn’t she know I care about her?’

You blushed but turned back to your lock when Peter raised an eyebrow. Awkwardly he cleared his throat and asked if you wanted to go over to his place to study. 

“Now? What about the Stark thing?” You asked, closing your locker. 

He shrugged. “It’s not like I do much there on a weekday anyway. Besides, we have that, um, maths quiz.”

‘Please say yes.’

You smiled and rolled your eyes. Maybe you could tell him you knew his secret. “Okay, lead the way Parker.”

-

-

After Peter opened the door to his apartment he let you in first, where you were presented with a woman rushing around madly. Peter closed the door with a soft thud and looked around the room in confusion. 

“May?” He asked. 

His aunt stopped to look at you both and smiled before she continued rushing around. The two of you remained standing where you were as she threw various items into her bag. Peter tried again. 

“What’s going on?”

This time she stopped and closed her bag. “As of five minutes ago I have a date.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “A date? Like a date date?”

May rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yes, a date date.”

“But it’s 4pm.”

She shrugged. “It’ll take me an hour to get there. He lives outside of Queens.”

Peter readjusted the grip on his bag and didn’t say anything, but he drew his lips into a very thin line. 

‘It doesn’t sound right. She shouldn’t go. Maybe I should go too. No that’s just weird.’

You smiled to yourself at Peter’s protectiveness over his aunt. Though he didn’t talk about it much you knew his parents had both been killed and his aunt was the only family he had left. You didn’t know her very well but you always admired her. Deciding that she had everything May grabbed her keys and walked over to Peter and yourself. 

“Now I’ve left some meatloaf in the fridge that you can heat up if you’re hungry. I should be back by ten but keep your phone on you. Text me if you need anything, okay?”

Peter nodded and pulled a face when she kissed his head, but his thoughts revealed how much he loved the affection. 

“(Y/N) it’s lovely to see you sweetie. Stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks May.”

She smiled and headed out the door. “Have fun, but not too much fun!”

And with that she closed the door and left. Peter stood stunned in his own apartment before he came to his senses and moved to his room. You followed him as he hastily made apologies about his aunt and the messy apartment (it seemed perfectly neat to you). Sometimes you wished people could read your mind, like now for example, so Peter could really see how much you didn’t mind and how you actually loved his aunt and his apartment, mess and all. Once in his room you took off your backpack and sat on a chair as he sat on his bed. Both of you got the appropriate books out and organized your things. You really liked being with Peter. He calmed you and he didn’t think a lot or make his thoughts loud, which was now an extremely valuable trait to you. There in his room, there was a genuine silence that settled between you two which extended to your mind. It wasn’t awkward or forced, just comfortable. You could tell he was tired and you guessed that you looked the same. Hoping to get your mind working you turned to the stack of books that were now on Peter’s desk. 

“Okay so what did you want to go over? I’m okay with geometry but can’t do trig to save my life. Maybe if we start at chapter 2a…Pete?”

You looked up to find him slouched over his books, eyes drooping at a rapid pace. When he heard his name he jolted upright and looked at you, confused. 

“What? Sorry (Y/N).” He sighed. 

You frowned and moved the chair closer to him. Maths could wait. 

“What’s going on?” You asked softly. 

He shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I haven’t been sleeping much…and I’ve been busy with the Stark thing and school.”

You smiled out of sympathy as he stared at the floor. He genuinely looked tired and overworked. And now you knew that he was Spiderman, well his tiredness made more sense. He went to speak again when his phone buzzed. You saw it was a message from Ned before he leant over his books to pick up his phone, leaning closer to you as he did. Almost immediately his mood seemed to perk up, energy now radiating off him, as he read the message. 

‘Finally something good.’

He went to jump up but glanced up at you and stopped. 

‘Shit, I can’t leave (Y/N).’

“What?” You asked, acting like you couldn’t read his mind. He froze, trying to think of an excuse to leave. His eyes darted across the room nervously. With a sigh you allowed yourself to accept the truth. You had to tell him. 

“Peter, go.”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “What are you talking about? Everything’s fine, I just need to-“

“I know you’re Spiderman.”

He went silent and froze. He stared at you, unblinking, as he slowly turned pale. You internally groaned. That was a mistake. 

“(Y/N), I, erm, I mean what do you, um, I’m not-“

“Stop,” you sighed. “Go Peter. It’s fine. We’ll talk when you get back.”

He didn’t move, only stared at you with his big brown eyes. God they were dangerous. Slowly he stood and faced you, his face dangerously white with shock. 

“(Y/N), please…”

“Go Peter. I’ll be waiting.”

He quickly looked at his phone again, as if he was making sure there was actually an emergency, before turning back to you. His eyes had gone wide and were full of regret and sorrow. They made you giddy and sad all at once. Finally he sighed and moved to his closet where he revealed a decent sized case. Carefully he opened it to reveal his suit, packed precisely. It was perfect, and you realized just how much he loved being Spiderman and what he did. It made you feel a bit guilty since this could be you and your life. You could be happy and helping others, yet you were too scared to face to world. Besides, mind reading was useless, at least that’s what you told yourself. You left his room to let him change and when you returned he was already gone. 

-

-

It was sunset when he finally returned. After completing your homework you played on your phone and studied Peter’s room, fascinated by every little detail. It was clean and neat but had so many hidden secrets or objects. You laughed to yourself when you stumbled upon LEGO Star Wars figures. Even they were set up perfectly in their own place. When Peter did stumble back into his room you were sitting on his bed. Hastily you threw down your phone and stood up as he closed the window and took off his mask. You had to admit that you were speechless. He left before in such a rush that you didn’t see him in the suit. Now you were stunned by how much older and mature it made him look. You half expected him to look like an oversized kid without the mask but he looked like something else. A hero. He glanced at you and gave a weary smile, but you could tell that he was nervous. Peter sat next to you on his bed and stared at his mask which he held in his lap. You stared at your hands but let your eyes flicker over to him every so often. The silence still wasn’t awkward, but now it wasn’t exactly comfortable. It felt like there was an electric current between you, ready to strike at any moment. Peter cleared his throat, making you turn your head towards him. He didn’t lift his eyes. 

“So, I’m Spiderman.”

You smiled and nodded. “I know.”

He frowned. “Yeah, but how? Was it Ned?”

“No! No, it wasn’t Ned.” You quickly replied. Instantly you saw him sigh in relief and felt guilty again. You couldn’t let him think that his best friend betrayed him, and you hated that the thought even crossed his mind. Ned had nothing to do with it. It was you. All you. 

“It’s…well it’s complicated.” You finally said, not sure how to tell him. 

‘How did she find out? If she tells anyone I’m screwed. Oh god, what will Mr Stark say?’

His thoughts came across quick and scattered in your mind. It was then that you realized just how worried he was. Spiderman was a big deal to him. No, it meant the world to him. You’d never seen him so happy or so invested in anything. He had a right to know, even if it hurt you. 

“I won’t tell anyone.” You mumbled. He looked at you sideways as his eyebrows came together in slight confusion. You knew that was because the thought had crossed his mind, yet he dismissed it for coincidence. You sighed and glanced over at him. The light from the setting sun behind Peter was blinding, and it bathed him in a golden light. It blurred his edges and imperfections. His tousled hair became fairer, his skin tanner, his suit a pale red. It was a beautiful sight but you couldn’t let yourself get caught up in the moment. You had to carry on and get the job done. He had a right to know. 

“I found out…from you.” You started slowly, trying to explain it simply to Peter. However you were already failing miserably as his eyes grew wide. 

“Me?”

You stuttered and stumbled over words until you thought of a coherent sentence. “Let me start again. I found out through you, yes. But you didn’t say it. You…you thought it.”

Peter’s face grew more confused as you tried to tell him the truth without explicitly saying it. 

“Thought it?”

“Um, yeah. Because, well a couple of weeks ago, I was in an accident.”

“Yeah I remember, I had to FaceTime you to explain the chemistry formula while you lied in bed.”

You laughed softly at the memory. You couldn’t believe he remembered that. 

“Yes, that accident. But it did more than confine me to my bed.”

You turned to face him and, for a moment, you were tempted to take his hands into yours but decided against it. That was too intimate. 

“Pete, I’m going to sound crazy.” You laughed nervously. Your eyes couldn’t meet his. Sensing your anxiety Peter leant over and grabbed your hands. You smiled internally as his warm hands squeezed yours to comfort you. He didn’t let go. 

“(Y/N), I’m freaking Spiderman. I think I can handle anything.”

You gave him a weak smile as he looked at you with anticipation clear in in his eyes. You proceeded. 

“I…I can read minds.”

Silence followed your confession as it laid heavily between you both. Peter’s grip on your hands loosened but he didn’t let go. His face went slack, as did his thoughts. For once it was impossible to read him. There was no thoughts or expressions. Nothing. He was a blank canvas, and nothing terrified you more. 

“Peter, please say something.” You finally whispered as you waited for the verdict. When he didn’t respond you begrudgingly removed your hands from his, recoiling away from him. You needed to leave. 

“Wait,” He stammered. “You read minds?”

You were now frozen on the edge of his bed, his eyes staring intently at you. 

‘Please don’t leave’. 

You settled in your new position, legs over the side of the bed, but made no effort to face him again. The distance was almost unbearable to you after being so close. 

“I read minds.” You repeated. 

‘What am I thinking about?’. 

You giggled as Peter’s thought entered your head. He raised his eyebrows. 

“You actually-“

“Know you’re asking me what you’re thinking about? Yep.”

Slowly a smile spread across his face. 

“That’s freaking awesome! Mind reading!”

You blushed and bit your lip, shocked by his reaction. 

“Awesome?”

“Of course it is. Shit (Y/N), you read minds.”

This time you laughed. The bed shifted as Peter moved to sit next to you. He sat centimetres away from you, shoulders almost touching. It made your heart race. 

“You know that this means we can fight crime together right?”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Absolutely not.”

His face dropped. “What? Why?”

“I’m no hero. I don’t want to fight bad guys or save cats from trees. I want to be a teenager who works and complains about school and goes to parties-“

“You hate parties.”

“Not the point Peter.”

You stared at your hands, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. He didn’t understand. He was fearless and brave, unlike you. You were so lost in your thoughts that you jumped when something touched your hand. It was Peter trying to pull your hands into his own. You let him but didn’t meet his eyes. 

“I wish I could read your mind.” He mumbled.  

You laughed. “Me too.”

Peter shook his head and gripped your hands. “No, you don’t understand. I want to know what you’re thinking and feeling. I want to know what you see in yourself. Why don’t you believe in yourself? What do I say? I’m lost, but I swear I’m trying to help. I’m just not good at it.”

Slowly you looked up to find him looking away. Gently you removed one hand from his grip to turn his face towards yours. His dark eyes looked down in defeat. 

“Hey, it’s not your fault. In fact, you’re amazing. You’re my best friend Peter. Trust me, I wish you could read my mind too so you could see that I’m freaking out but I trust you. I do…”

Your voice grew quieter as you spoke until it was barely a whisper. Peter raised his hand to lay it over yours, which was still cradling his cheek. You stayed like this for a while, but one irritating thought just wouldn’t leave your mind. No matter how hard you tried to push it away it remained. You had to ask. 

“Were you going to tell me?” You asked, pulling your hands back to yourself. Peter let go and looked at you. 

‘Spiderman?’ He thought. You nodded sheepishly. 

“Yes…no. I don’t know,” he confessed. “I wanted to, I really did. But it was a risk and I…” 

Peter trailed off as your heart sank. He wasn’t going to tell you? You knew it was unfair to be mad at him, after all you weren’t planning on telling him about your powers, but it felt personal.

“Who else?” You asked. When he started to shake his head you snapped. “Peter don’t freaking lie to me. I know Ned knows. Does MJ? Did you tell everyone but me?”

“(Y/N) calm down! No, they don’t…they didn’t know. Ned found out by accident, I wasn’t going to tell him. I haven’t told MJ so I think she doesn’t know, but she knows everything.”

“And me?”

“You were different.”

You laughed sarcastically. “How Peter, enlighten me.”

“I like you.” He almost screamed, competing with your increasing volume. You blinked at him, both your cheeks red from yelling. The two of you never fought, so this was all new. And then he had…feelings? For you? You felt dizzy and you failed to think of something to say. Your mind was blank and Peter was tense: you could feel it radiating off him. 

‘Say something.’ 

His thought was desperate and weak but there all the same. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t, when you finally spoke. 

“Me?” You muttered. 

Peter nodded and refused to meet your eyes as well. The silence was crushing you as you stared at anything but Peter. If this was a movie, you would have confessed your own attraction and he would have proceeded to kiss you as the final credits rolled. Alas, this was reality where nothing was quite as perfect. Instead neither of you would speak or look each other in the eye. Each person was killing the other. You knew you had to speak, to say something, to save Peter from his misery. Yet no words would come to mind. Nothing. For the first time in a while, your mind was completely silent. No thoughts from you or Peter, only a void. 

“I…” you began but quickly stopped, realizing you didn’t know how that sentence was going to continue. 

“Don’t, (Y/N). Just don’t. I don’t need your pity.” His voice was emotionless and sent tears to your eyes. How could you do this, hurt your best friend? The boy who loved you? Time was slipping away and you had to act quickly, otherwise it would be too late. 

“I don’t know what to say…”

“(Y/N), I said don’t. Just go-“

“Peter shut the hell up!” You interrupted. “I don’t know what to say because I’m terrified, because I feel the same way. And I want this to be perfect but it’s not and I’m not good enough.”

Peter’s eyes went wide. 

‘Not good enough?’

He finally looked you in the eye, his own raw with emotion. “Are you kidding? You? You are perfect, and I mean it.”

You laughed in sorrow. “Says the boy who saves people’s lives and can swing building to building.”

“So what if I can jump from a building to another? That doesn’t matter. I will never be as smart or as kind or as beautiful as you, and that’s what matters.”

You looked at him, eyes wide with shock. He genuinely cared about you, your best friend. Your Spiderman. Clumsily Peter fumbled for your hand, not once breaking eye contact, and pulled them into his lap. You gripped onto his hands out of love and fear. This was everything you ever wanted, yet you never imagined feeling so scared. You shifted and moved your body to fully face him, Peter then following your lead. Finally here you were, face to face. No secrets. No judgement. No powers. Just two teenagers who were desperately in love, and nothing terrified them more. 

“Shit Peter, I don’t want to stuff this up.” You confessed, your eyes flickering down to your holding hands. 

“Me too,” Peter said, taking in a shaky breath. “I can’t lose you.”

And there it lay, the imminent truth, exposed and in the open. There was no returning now to what you were before. This was end game. Eventually you loosened the grip on his hands and you both sat in silence, tracing patterns on each other’s palms. There was something intimate about the small gesture that made you take a leap of faith. 

“Can I tell you something?” You whispered as talking seemed too loud. Peter nodded, staring at you intently as he bit his lip. God he was adorable. 

“I can’t control my powers, and they terrify me. And I don’t know who else to tell but you.”

Peter nodded understandably, his face full of concentration. 

‘Think Parker, it’s your time to shine. But oh my god she’s so beautiful…shit she can hear this can’t she?’

Peter sheepishly looked up and grimaced when he saw humour in your eyes. 

“You heard that didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry. See, THIS is why it’s a problem.” You explained. Internally you couldn’t believe that he thought you were pretty. “And you don’t have to prove yourself. You know that right?”

Peter nodded and gave your hand a squeeze. By this stage you had figured out that not only did he love physical affection, but he loved hand holding. And that was adorable. 

“I know, but it’s you and I like you and…that’s it!” He broke off mid-sentence and stared at you, eyes mimicking a child’s in a candy store. You raised an eyebrow, curious. 

“What? What’s it?”

“I know how to deal with your powers. The Avengers!”

You gave him a sympathetic smile. “Pete, thank you, but I already said-“

“You don’t want to be a hero, I get it. But I know the Avengers. They could help you understand and control your powers. Besides, I did travel to Berlin for Stark so he owes me one.”

Joy and excitement filled you. The Avengers? Helping you? It seemed surreal but it made sense; they were all heroes with powers or a better understanding of how they worked. 

“You would do that for me?” You asked with a small voice. 

“I’d do anything for you.”

It was easily the cheesiest thing for Peter to say, but in the moment it was perfect. Looking at his excited eyes you allowed yourself to smile wide. He smiled back, energy radiating off the two of you. In the moment you flung yourself at Peter and hugged him tight, arms clinging around his neck. After the initial surprise Peter relaxed and hugged you back, his hands holding your waist. His hands sent electricity through your body. You had never felt more alive or loved than in that moment. He laughed in your ear at your happiness, his warm breath fanning your neck. You buried your head into the crook of his collarbone and held him, your body melting into his. The closeness didn’t feel intimidating or awkward to either of you: it felt right. Tomorrow things would become complicated and difficult. Peter would contact the Avengers and your training would begin. Soon he would be out in the field again, being a friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. But in that moment, nothing mattered but the closeness of your bodies and the undeniable happiness that both of you felt. And it was in that moment that you truly, whole heartedly fell for Peter. As fate would have it, it was the exact moment that Peter fell for you too. You knew it before the thought even crossed your mind. 

‘God, I love you (Y/N). ‘