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despite being no stranger to the strange and eccentric, lou can’t deny the peculiarity of it all, in all of its velvety exclusivity, the clandestine, the enigmas. he leans in, hushed, brushing his nose to her ear in an attempt to be discreet–his drink has made him a touch clumsy, but all the better to be closer to her. “it reminds me of the tales of the hellfire club, crossing waters to reach it, inviting no spectators beyond the stars.” he does little to obscure how swollen his voice has become with thrill and fervor. “i suppose if you have a crown jewel, you’d want to show it off, no?”

a smile always graces sana’s lips, but at lou’s odd words, her face lights up even more. she doesn’t bother hiding her grin at all, feeling her shoulders relax slightly. raising an arm to wrap around his shoulders, she says, “oh, lou. you say the strangest things and i love you for it. what would i do without you?”

she means it, she does, because she’s thinking now that having her best friend walking into this new adventure of a society together surely means nothing too bad is going to happen. “i’m serious. what’s the chances in we both get accepted to --- whatever this is?”

#( & threads )#( & lou )#( event ; one )

there is something unbelievably annoying in sana yoon that horatio can’t exactly place. perhaps it’s the silence that bothers him. or this – bizarre wave of judgement that comes off of her, as if she gets to have a say in what kind of a person he is.

too bad when horatio is annoyed, he is insufferable. “looking for your comfort buddy?” he asks, eyebrows raised. he downs the rest of his drink – never say he can’t appreciate a good vodka, the way it should be. “the last time i saw him, we were a little bit occupied. i assume he’s wandering around the house.” he wants to ask, what are you doing here? but it is left unsaid. “you know, i thought the purpose of this event was to socialize with your upperclassmen.”

occupied. there’s no reason for sana’s cheek to flame because she’s heard people say worse, she’s not a blushing virgin. she’s nearly twenty-two years old, for pete’s sake. this is fine. she’s fine.

she can’t help the wrinkle in her nose, instinct acting first before she can stop herself. not disgust, just second-hand embarrassment and overall discomfort. “oh. i just assumed he was with you.” there’s an emphasis on the last word, but she’s not quite sure what kind. “i don’t -- i don’t know anyone here. i’m not going to, y’know. interrupt anyone’s fun.”

#( & threads )#( & horatio )

Sana, that’s her name. A name is all she knows about the new recruit right now - a name and a face. You can read all sorts into that, if you let yourself - which she does. After all, post-tonight, Sana will have a new page inked out in her journal, along with the rest of the society. Mousey, is her first thought, one she stores to memory. Out of her depth. Overwhelmed. Three observations are enough to begin drafting the broad outlines of a person, enough to get a slither insight into who they are. The only other way to construct her is conversation - so when Sana reaches out, Saffron takes her hand.

“Tonight, or ever?” The answer to both is neither. At least, not whiskey of this calibre. She’s accustomed to the cheap stuff, bitter on your tongue, craving the burn as it goes down. But she always tries to stay fairly alert at this events, lose herself without, well, losing herself. “It’s good. You should give it a go. You’re not a real Invictus member until you do. It’s kinda…a rite of passage.” Lying is easy. After all, alcohol unties your tongue. Loose lips sink ships. Sana could be her own undoing with this. “We have several of those, actually. Little…quirks that make us,us. I suppose Kit and Alistair have told you all about that?”

With wide eyes, Sana flicks her gaze from Saffron back to the bottle. But she’s not a really suspicious person by nature, so when she sets the bottle back down on the counter, it’s because of the sentence You’re not a real Invictus member until you do. People can call her a lot of things -- a pushover, soft, too young, but peer pressure has never broken her, even a little. People can call her a lot of things, but she doesn’t let naive be one of them.

It’s a thin line to walk, though, so she leans forwards a little. Her eyebrows knit together as she shakes her head. “Alistair’s busy with... Whatever presidents of clubs do. And Kit is, uh. Always preoccupied. You have several rites of passage? Like... Like what?”

#im projecting Bitch #we tiny people deserve Rights #( & threads )#( & saffron )

‘No, it’s fine, just– we haven’t actually met yet,’ she says, her voice turning light partway through the sentence as she finds her footing. Half a smile, forced but friendly. Alistair’s recruit,Sana, she knows, and she’s not sure what to expect yet, but the girl in front of her, wide-eyed, isn’t exactly what she would have expected. The new recruits, they all seem so innocent, and she wonders if that’s intentional or not, this softening of Invictus, to make them seem less like the type of people who would have been capable of murdering someone. ‘I’m Ani, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.’

At Ani’s reassurance, Sana feels a little silly about her earnest apology. Her cheeks flush pink and she hurriedly takes a sip out of wine glass in an attempt to cover up her embarrassment. Except the rushed movement just makes her panic even more and -- oh, look, she’s choking, because the liquid’s gone down funny. Spluttering, she thumps on her own chest and straightens up when she stops, eyes streaming. Lovely. Fantastic. Perfect first impressions. “I’m Sana. Goodness, sorry, there’s, uh. A lot going on in my head.”

#( & threads )#( & ani )

WHEN: 4th october, 10:40pm WHERE: atwood’s WHO: @saffrcns

Okay. Okay, it’s not like Sana doesn’t drink -- she’s had her first taste back in New York where she did her undergrad, but she’s also tiny and doesn’t really get invited much anywhere to drink. Party invitations and offerings to go out are rare when she’s never really had many friends, so she’s standing in Boris’ kitchen and trying not to obviously show how overwhelmed she is by the options. She’s been sipping on the same drink all night, which was just a glass or two of wine, and she thinks it’s late enough in the night to mix it up. Everyone else has been drinking all night, and she’s not using the peer pressure as an excuse, but why does Boris have so much alcohol?

She squints at the label of a bottle of whisky and stops herself from sniffing it, because that doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. When she looks up, she catches the eye of someone else in the room, and tries not to seem like a kid. Kit said to stay away from Saffron, but Sana just wants an opinion on a drink. “Um. have you tried this?”

#stop nagging me smelly #saffrcns #( starter ; closed )#( event ; one )#( & saffron )

WHEN: 4th october, 7:30pm WHERE: atwood’s WHO: @secondstxrs

"this is weird, right?” sana says, leaning her head closer to her best friend. she’s not quite vibrating with nervous energy, but she tugs on the sleeves of her jumper enough that she pulls on a stitching of a hole that she just sewed up the other weekend. with a wrinkle of her nose at herself, she turns to lou instead. “or, maybe not weird, but surreal? i mean, who has a house on a separate island? who throws parties there?”

#i'm assuming they stick together at the beginning!!! but hmu if i need to change it!!!#secondstxrs #( starter ; closed )#( & lou )#( event ; one )

WHEN: 4th october, 10:17pm WHERE: atwood’s WHO: @rowstock

look, she’s got nothing against horatio, per se -- bad energy isn’t something she likes putting her effort into, so she’s not. she’s not going to pick fights with him or anything. but she doesn’t really like him, thinks his personality is performative and not quite her cup of tea, but lou seems to like him, so she guesses this is her life now. painful interactions with her best friend’s -- whatever.

“where’s lou?” is the first thing she says, when she spots horatio across the room and darts forward to tap him. and then realises that it’s ruder than she usually is, so makes her lips curve into a smile. “i haven’t seen him for, like, the last hour.”

#hello bby let me know if this is a okay!#rowstock #( starter ; closed )#( & horatio )#( event ; one )

WHEN: 4th october, 9:04pm WHERE: atwood’s WHO: @antiquitylloyd

“Have I done something?” Sana all but squeaks, when she turns around and there’s someone already there looking at her. People’s eyes generally sweep over her, forgettable unless she does something worth looking at, but this person is staring at her, which is a little unsettling. Sana glances down at the drink in her hand and then around her, before raising her hand confusedly. “Is there something on my face? Or am I in your way? Either way, I’m sorry!”

#if this is a lil godmod-y! feel free to yell at me! i'll change it!#antiquitylloyd #( starter ; closed )#( & ani )#( event ; one )

WHEN: 4th october, 7:56pm WHERE: atwood’s WHO: @alistairefox

she’s been standing in the same spot for the last fifteen minutes, unsure on her standing within this party just yet. the edge of the room is the perfect place for observing, which is kind of sana’s brand at this point -- when people forget about you your whole life, sticking to the walls doesn’t really help, but at least this way you can pick up on these interactions anyway. from this angle, alistair has moved into her line of vision, and she tilts her head to the side, squinting a little as she contemplates whether approaching. she hasn’t had a conversation with the leader of this society yet, and politeness urges her to do so. she’s still deciding on striking up a conversation when she accidentally makes eye contact with him and, because her face is a transparent waterfall of her emotions, can’t stop herself from pulling a face.

#alistairefox #hope this is okay bby!#( starter ; closed )#( & alistair )#( event ; one )

drwillowmurphy

date/time: october 4th, 10:43pm, middle of the party.

availability: closed to @sanayoons

Kit did her best to slip back into the room without being noticed, not that she’d expect anyone to realize she’d been gone for so long in the state most of the society was in. Her hair was still a bit damp and she’d been too lazy to lace up both her boots the same, but otherwise it could be like she’d never left in an angry flurry an hour ago.

That was until Sana was in her face almost immediately, that stupid pouty smile on her face. Really, Kit was sure she’d gotten the worst option when it came to recruitment. (Just another way Alistair had decided to ruin her life, apparently). After recruiting Sana, Kit thought for sure she would be free of the girl and all her whiny questions, save for society events. But, now it seemed as thought her recruit had attached herself to Kit like a duckling to its mother, constantly bobbing around as though she were lost.

“No, shh. Don’t say a word.” Kit brought up her hand to shush Sana before she could open her mouth. She’d spent enough time around her to know the face she made when she had questions or comments for Kit to respond to. Kit began to walk back towards the kitchen, expecting the other girl to follow. “I’m not talking to anyone until I get another drink or two. Go find some friends until then.”

sanayoons

There’s a little part in Sana that is still overwhelmed with big crowds of strangers, even though she’s done the whole uni thing before with undergrad -- starting this program at a new school just seems to be starting from scratch all over again. Which is fine, but this is her first time in this prestigious society that is apparently fancy as fuck. She’s wide-eyed and a little lost now that Lou’s ducked out of her side ( if he ditched her for Horatio -- well. Sana’s not going to do anything at all, but that’s just one more tally mark against the man ) .

So, yeah, maybe it’s a little pathetic to instinctively seek out Kit next -- but she doesn’t really know anyone else here, not properly. She trusts exactly two people on this island, and it doesn’t matter that Kit has the constant bored look of wanting to shake her off -- Sana likes her, so. There.

Really, she’s just going to ask where Kit went, but she follows obediently the other girl, not even a little offended. “There’s, like. Ten other people here and they’re all busy, I’m not going to interrupt them, that’s so rude, and also I can’t find Lou. Where did you go?”

#( & threads )#( & kit )#( event ; one )

deleteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed-deacti

#i'm Screaming #( you do not have to be good )

BOLD what your muse CAN do. REPOST, don’t reblog.

SANA CAN :

UNDER THE CUT is what I CAN do bc i’m a vain bitch:

#( chasing myself )#( shut up jessie )

tashawrite

“this uncomfortable tension / between me and God.”

— Zaid Shlah, from “Thirty-Three Beads on a String,” Inclined to Speak: An Anthology of Contemporary Arab American Poetry (via st-draco)

#( you do not have to be good )

BOLD what applies to your muse.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

class or caste: upper / middle / working / unsure.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children / has no children / wants children.

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased.

orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between / unknown.

loyal / disloyal / unknown.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

BELIEFS:

monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic.

belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in an afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious.

philosophical: yes / no.

OPINIONS

pro-suicide / anti-suicide / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-euthanasia / anti-euthanasia / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-choice / anti-abortion / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-marriage / anti-marriage / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-death penalty / anti-death penalty / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-drug legislation / anti-drug legislation / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-murder / anti-murder / doesn’t know or on the fence.

left wing / right wing / middle / doesn’t know or on the fence.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

#( chasing myself )

sana + textposts ( 1/? )

#noctalk #i made this weeks ago. why did i not post.#( chasing myself )#*

oumaimas

For Example, Mary Oliver

#( you do not have to be good )

oliver: hey, do you have a bag i can borrow?

miller: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

oliver: literally all you had to do was say no.

#noctalk #( tomfoolery )

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