As a counter to your point about Sansa's murder of Rmasay being bad, I put forth a point I saw someone else make: Sansa smiling when Ramsay died is consistent with her smiling when Joffrey is hurt and when (in the books and the show), she comes close to pushing him to his death when he makes her look at her father's head on a pike.
Whoever brought this up might wanna reread…
He had not been dead when she left the throne room. He had been on his knees, though, clawing at his throat, tearing at his own skin as he fought to breathe. The sight of it had been too terrible to watch, and she had turned and fled, sobbing. Lady Tanda had been fleeing as well. “You have a good heart, my lady,” she said to Sansa. “Not every maid would weep so for a man who set her aside and wed her to a dwarf.”
A good heart. I have a good heart. Hysterical laughter rose up her gullet, but Sansa choked it back down. The bells were ringing, slow and mournful. Ringing, ringing, ringing. They had rung for King Robert the same way. Joffrey was dead, he was dead, he was dead, dead, dead. Why was she crying, when she wanted to dance? Were they tears of joy?
Like…I guess that’s laughter, but clearly the context is quite a bit different. When Sansa’s actually confronted with the reality of someone hurt, she is not gaining enjoyment from it.
Fucking Joffrey’s death haunts her:
She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage … sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick … she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey tearing at his collar, clawing at the soft skin of his throat, dying with flakes of pie crust on his lips and wine stains on his doublet. And the wind keening in the lines reminded her of the terrible thin sucking sound he’d made as he fought to draw in air. Sometimes she dreamed of Tyrion as well. “He did nothing,” she told Littlefinger once, when he paid a visit to her cabin to see if she were feeling any better.
“He did not kill Joffrey, true, but the dwarf’s hands are far from clean. He had a wife before you, did you know that?”
“And did he tell you that when he grew bored with her, he made a gift of her to his father’s guardsmen? He might have done the same to you, in time. Shed no tears for the Imp, my lady.”
The wind ran salty fingers through her hair, and Sansa shivered.
Sansa’s dominant feature is her empathy. I’m really not sure how people missed that, but okay.
Sansa went to Ser Lancel and knelt beside him. His wound was bleeding afresh where the queen had struck him. “Madness,” he gasped. “Gods, the Imp was right, was right…”
“Help him,” Sansa commanded two of the serving men. One just looked at her and ran, flagon and all. Other servants were leaving the hall as well, but she could not help that. Together, Sansa and the serving man got the wounded knight back on his feet. “Take him to Maester Frenken.” Lancel was one of them, yet somehow she still could not bring herself to wish him dead. I am soft and weak and stupid, just as Joffrey says. I should be killing him, not helping him.
Also the show heavily dramatized the “almost killed Joffrey” thing. This is what happened:
All it would take was a shove, she told herself. He was standing right there, right there, smirking at her with those fat wormlips. You could do it, she told herself. You could. Do it right now. It wouldn’t even matter if she went over with him. It wouldn’t matter at all.
“Here, girl.” Sandor Clegane knelt before her, between her and Joffrey. With a delicacy surprising in such a big man, he dabbed at the blood welling from her broken lip.
The moment was gone. Sansa lowered her eyes. “Thank you,” she said when he was done. She was a good girl, and always remembered her courtesies.
Maybe it’s just because I get intrusive thoughts but this is not like… “oh yeah that Sansa she’s just all violent and murderous.”
Reveling in Ramsay’s suffering is not Sansa, it’s just not. I’d rather have a conversation about the implications of D&D raping a character for nothing more than revenge porn, but I think suggesting that this is playing out with respect to any sort of characterization is just willfully ignorant, tbh.
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