the apathetic empath

santiago angel lopez. it's not just headaches anymore. i'm stronger than you could ever believe.

[chandler-berry]

I’m sorry, do I seem like a slob to you? …oh wait, you’re in that stupid motel. I probably do. Not to worry. I’ll be sure not to leave semen all over the walls.

[santiiagolopez]

I've been cleaning this stupid motel room non stop and it's still disgusting, so yes, you do seem like a complete slob.

[sonicclarington-blog]

Oh wow. That’s… that would make a good book.

[santiiagolopez]

This whole world is just weird as fuck. Back home, I'd never be swapped into someone else's body.

[chandler-berry]

Sorry, typo. I’m not used to typing with hands this large. I meant crude. And fine. I already did, and so would anyone else in my situation. It’s perfectly normal.

[santiiagolopez]

Please just... at least clean up when you're done. I like my apartment clean.

[sea-fia]

And you think I do? Find a way to fix it. I’m sure this was your doing.

[santiiagolopez]

Yes, because feeling emotions and being able to manipulate other people's emotions means I can switch people's bodies.

[sonicclarington-blog]

Who do you think did it?

[santiiagolopez]

Could be anyone. A friend told me once about how in school, some girl released pheromones all over school and fucked shit up... I don't know, I'm trying to figure it out.

[sea-fia]

I’d be happy to trade you.

[santiiagolopez]

I don't want to be some nine foot tall moron. I want my own body.

[chandler-berry]

Your penis. I can say penis. I’ve touched a penis before. I’ve touched a lot of penis! I just didn’t want to be cruel.

[santiiagolopez]

Why would saying you're going to touch my penis be cruel? I'm not there. I don't care either way. Touch it all you want.

[sonicclarington-blog]

Uh, if it makes you feel any better, um, I am too.

[santiiagolopez]

At least I'm not the only one... Doesn't make it suck less. Whoever fucking did this needs to fix it.

[chandler-berry]

I’m not in the mood for sarcasm. And you’d better hope that’s sarcasm because if not I will touch…your things.

[santiiagolopez]

My things? I don't think there's any risk of your hands going near my things if you can't even say the words.

[chandler-berry]

Okay…but…you’re not looking at my breasts, right? Please keep them contained. I’ll get this all fixed soon enough just…keep your clothes on. My clothes on.

[santiiagolopez]

I'm naked and grabbing them as we speak. One hand typing, one hand just constantly grabbing boobs.

[chandler-berry]

You are not a hobbit. You’re a stunningly beautiful genius and harvard alumni.

And let’s be real, kind of mildly lacking in the boobs department. Decent butt, though.

[santiiagolopez]

Hobbit. With. Boobs.

And the genius shit doesn't matter because I am my brain in your body. Obviously still a genius because I am a genius. But essentially I'm me. Stuck in the body of a hobbit. With boobs.

[santiiagolopez]

Why the bloody hell am I suddenly a hobbit with boobs?

[chandler-berry]

And I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your rudeness. I don’t even recall having met you.

[santiiagolopez]

You haven't. We don't know each other. I just think you're bitching and complaining when you could just leave.

[chandler-berry]

I beg to differ. Something tells me that this is exactly where I need to be. Not that it’s any of your business.

[santiiagolopez]

"Something tells you"? That's not ominous at all. I still think you don't need to be here.

[finnehudson]

Seriously? Send a Lopez to do a Hudson job?

[santiiagolopez]

I'm sure it was only done because a Lopez is the better choice.

[coleandersons-blog]

Managed to completely blank on what day it was.

Nice one, Cole. 

[santiiagolopez]

You're an idiot... Has anyone told you that?

[chandler-berry]

Well, here I am. Back in the golden state. I think it’s safe to say I miss the snow already. And also not living in a motel.

[santiiagolopez]

You don't have to be here.