Radio Static Vignette 5 - Let’s rewrite this tape
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Alastor happily led Vox through the streets, encouraging Vox to fill the silence with his ridiculous idle chatter. He wasn’t quite sure when he had stopped finding it grating, but he no longer minded it. Alastor didn't want to say that he found it charming now –though, no– charming could be said to be an accurate word. Admittedly, this time he did bring the current conversation upon himself; but seeing Vox’s face light up at the absurd shark-fact-a-day calendar he had found had been worth it.
They finally rounded the corner to the spot he was taking him to this evening. He felt Vox’s pace slow and hesitate approaching the entry and Alastor looked at him oddly in askance.
“I haven’t been here since you left.” Vox confessed softly, looking anywhere but at him.
Against his will, Alastor’s ears flattened a bit at that. He didn’t like the way that made his chest feel.
Shaking himself, Alastor offered him a smile and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Come on then, how about we write some new memories instead?”
Vox finally met his eyes and returned a fragile smile. “Okay.”
Alastor effortlessly led him over to the seats that had been their usual perch, what felt like a lifetime ago.
Vox had gone uncharacteristically quiet, having hardly said a word by the time Alastor slid him his drink. He thanked him quietly, but continued to stare pensively at the grain of the bar.
Alastor frowned. This wasn’t how he had planned this night to go. Swallowing down the uncomfortable twist in his chest, he gave him a playful nudge with his foot. “Stop that. Tell me another silly shark fact or something.”
Vox laughed, but the brittle sound held no real joy.
Alastor couldn't place the cause for the sudden shift; this felt like more than just a sadness at his absence. It continued to perplex him, until the memories trickled in of the last evening they were here together. He probably should have considered that, he reflected, feeling a stab of guilt at the actions he had come to deeply regret. His next words were soft, but sincere, “I didn’t bring you here to hurt you, Vox. We can leave if you want.”
At that, Vox finally forced his eyes to meet his and the sadness he saw in them left him gutted. “I’m fine, Al.”
“No, you’re not, my dear.”
Vox didn’t try to refute that, and Alastor watched him start to further pull into himself. Drat. He really wasn’t great at this whole feelings business.
“Vox,” he reached out affectionately, placing his hand atop his on the bar. “I sincerely regret that night, you know. I know I can’t change the past, but I want you to know that I do genuinely care about you.”
Something started to brighten in Vox’s eyes, and unbidden Charlie’s unbridled sincerity echoed in his mind. It starts with sorry. He was not telling her about this.
Vox carefully turned his hand and intertwined their fingers, his next words filling the silence with a hushed earnesty. “I care for you so dearly, but I’m terrified that at any moment I’m going to lose you.”
“I’m not planning on going anywhere this time.” Alastor admitted, and he was shocked to find that he meant it. Allowing himself to be vulnerable was a genuinely terrifying ordeal, but one he found he was willing to endure if it kept the light in this silly picture box’s eyes.
Alastor squeezed his hand in response.
They lingered there for a moment letting the whiskey soothe over the emotions they had just offered up; Alastor’s thumb tracing reassuring circles into the palm of Vox’s hand.
The music turned upbeat and bright as they both cast partial attention to the dance floor, effectively pulling them back from their thoughts.
“The band sounds good tonight.” Vox offered, only slightly awkwardly.
A sly look crept onto Alastor’s face. “How about we see if you’ve been paying attention?”
Vox raised an eyebrow, looking evidently unsure he followed the meaning of his question.
“Dance with me, you Idiot Box.” Alastor laughed brightly as Vox started to smile.
As he tightened his hand around Vox’s and guided him out onto the dance floor, the bubbling fondness surged in his chest again. That feeling was becoming a more and more persistent thing, and he still wasn’t quite sure what to do with all of it.
Vox’s feet were a little slow to fall into the rhythm, and he kept stumbling trying to keep up.
“Hmm, perhaps we’re not quite there with the Charleston.” Alastor chuckled, adjusting his stride to one Vox could keep up with.
“How are you so damn graceful? I feel like a newborn foal next to you.” Vox huffed dramatically as Alastor dipped him, only being a little bit of a show off.
“Well at least you didn’t say fawn. I’d hate to spoil the moment by dropping you.” He grinned, pulling him upright.
“I thought it though.” Vox muttered, grinning back.
Alastor playfully pinched his side at that, but he was glad to see him smiling again.
Mercifully, the next song was a slow, lilting melody and Alastor pulled Vox closer. He felt him instantly melt into the touch as if relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to ask. That strange warmth settled around his shoulders now, and he sighed with a pleased little hum.
“I hate to admit it, but I’ve never felt this safe before.” Alastor whispered in his ear as they swayed together. He privately delighted in the sudden glow of heat he felt at his temple and the subtle jolt of static he felt pass between them.
“Me neither.” His answer came out slightly breathless in disbelief.
As they swayed there together, he realized, with tragic clarity, that he wanted this to continue to be his life.