runningawayfromyou @sarahldg-blog - Tumblr Blog

Why do we have to care about people who hurt us? I understand that sometimes things get hard and it seems like everything is out of control and to protect others, we end up pushing people we care about away.

I know you’re hurt. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you care about me.

But couldn’t you possibly try to let me in? Don’t you understand how much I care about you now? It’s done, I probably love you again and I wish I could you tell you that. Actually, I wish I wasn’t afraid to tell you this and think that you would turn your back one more time.

I do care.

Fuck, I’m in Paris

Mind the gap between you and me. Not in a bad way, though.

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It is weird seeing it all with perspective now, because we fell like in a vicious circle of depending on each other until the point I started to doubt myself.

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It’s not your fault or mine. It’s ours. I didn’t need you to accomplish my own stuff as you didn’t need me, but we couldn’t deal with it.

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I doubted I could do this trip alone, I doubted I could go well with the sponsorship, I doubted so many things. But here I am, standing so fucking tall. I’m happy for myself.

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I hope you can accomplish beautiful things by yourself as well. I always knew how capable you are. You’re forever in my heart, kept like a sweet memory.

It feels like I’m in a movie.

It’s so fucking tiring loving you still. It’s not like I want you back, I just wish I could get over it all faster. I cherish what we had, the respect is still here and always will be, but does it need to hurt so much?

Yesterday was your birthday and of course I remembered, of course I wanted to send you a message and tell you all the great things I wish for you. Of course I still care.

I stopped myself from talking to you a hundred of times since that day. I wanted to tell you the great things I achieved since then, but I couldn’t because I wouldn’t be ok after that, so I stopped myself time and time again.

Getting over you is the second hardest thing I have to do in my life, I hope that when I do get over you, this feeling never comes back.

#love #gettingover #movingon #tired #sadness