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My blog is more of a mess than my life.

[muertawrites]

me: i am INSPIRED i want to WRITE

my brain, immediately: i have never once even seen a sentence

[edgebug]

times are tough. have this blessed short film from xmas of my sister and brother figuring out they can macarena to cascada’s “everytime we touch”

[edgebug]

i asked their permission to post this but i don’t think they realized how many notes it would get. they will either be delighted or horrified. maybe both

[b-rainrot]

the sound of the coins adds to it

[thecw4kids]

ghost in the house: GET OUT. I WILL TAKE YOU-

real estate agent: chill, its me.

ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.

real estate agent: obviously NOT, idiot.

[curlzformetal]

enemies to friends to lovers, 67k, ghost au

[eelizabit]

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

[hergraveyard]

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

[auckie]

Men will see a mouse and eat it

[hergraveyard]

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

[auckie]

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

[knownonoahnonsense-deactivated2]

How does no one understand that not all men are like this?? If someone said this about women, everyone would go bat shit crazy. It stupid. It’s immature. It’s dumb. This is a biological female talking. Guaranteed, I’m not a girl, but I was born one, if that’s something that’ll persuade you to believe me. Not all men are bad! I mean, some men are, but there’s also some bad women out there too. To degrade men like this is childish. Blaming men for everything is just dumb. I’ve been assaulted by men before, but I still understand that there are LOTS of men who are good. This shit is just childish. I’m tired of seeing all of this.

[kittenchomp]

men will see a mouse and start reaching for the paprika

[thebootydiaries]

i called a place to get winter tires on my car and the guy asked me for my “tire size” and “rim type” i have never been so scared in my life sir i don’t know how to use my windshield wipers

[prideinpassion]

Alright but in reality, if you’re driving a vehicle you should be responsible enough to know your tire size, oil type, how to change a tire, and you should keep jumper cables in your trunk. It’s not cute to be incompetent. Especially when all these things can be learned through comprehensive video tutorials on YouTube, which you most certainly know how to use.

[thebootydiaries]

i would rather die than learn something . Go to hell

[tkthegoddess]

If that is your honest opinion, sadly, you’re dead already, beloved. 💋

[thebootydiaries]

What the hell is going on

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[tchaikovskaya]

im extremely nosy but i dont have loose lips and thats the best combination tbh im not here to spread rumors or hurt anyone im only in it for the knowledge of everyone’s business i wont tell anybody but i NEED to possess ALL of the secrets

[tchaikovskaya]

me hearing all the different sides of the story because everyone involved has told me directly what their take on the situation is but not saying anything and just watching it unfold like a intensely dramatically ironic shakespearean play with an audience of one (1) which is ME 

[griffys]

me @ myself: maybe u should try not to depend so much on validation and attention from others because u really let it dictate your mood and it’s so unhealthy

me: huh. interesting. anyway whom here loves me

[wikilifeadvice]

limit pasta consumption

[breastforce]

blocked

[moonlight2016s]

when your hips don’t lie like they used to before

[anarchohellenism]

Op you’ve singlehandedly given me three broken limbs with this

[tastefullyoffensive]

[crispychocolate-blog]

seems like my spanish

[sanguine-thoughts]

I speak spanish fluently and I can confirm this is 100% correct.

[laughingstation]

my mom once told me that writing your feelings down or drawing them out is very therapeutic and relaxing 

[qozxe]

urgent someone find me the picture of the puppy in teddy bear clothes it looks like this

[eqberts]

this?

[qozxe]

THANK YOU

[oribiys-remade-deactivated20200]

everytime i move i crunch like popcorn

[battenna]

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

[queercutie-deactivated20160411]

overanalyze and chill

[rickriordanrevamp]

I feel like we don’t talk about the OG text on this meme enough

[theequeerstrian]

What the FUCK

[sc4ttershot]

[scumbagsblog]

Story time because this was one of the most surreal experiences of my life and I need to talk about it

So when I was sixteen I worked in a Dairy Queen in a mall (which was as awful as it sounds) and during prom season we had people that’d walk around in prom attire to kill time before the dance started.

You also need to know that among those suits in boxes you can buy at Macy’s is a three-piece American flag suit. I’m not joking.

So imagine, if you will, six white guys who were fuck-you tall all walking around the mall in this exact suit and matching white cowboy hats. Hilarious in and of itself, my coworkers and I were all cackling.

BUT THEN

My mall also had these motorized animals you can ride, they were marketed towards kids but there’s no way they’re gonna say no to an adult willing to pay $14 to ride on an elephant for half an hour

So like ten minutes after we see them, all of them come

RIDING ALONG IN A FUCKING CONGA LINE

Just these six identical cowboys each on their own animal, each animal blaring it’s own rendition of B-I-N-G-O, and I basically nearly burst into tears.

I hope they went on to start their own boy band or something.

[antique-scarecrow]

the only acceptable usage of ‘Boys will be boys’