Shit my wife has said to our cat:
-You are the cause of all entropy.
-I don’t know how, but I’m going to blame you for all my problems.
-Life on this earth is brief.
-What do you think about the plight of the Jewish people, Miss Kitty?
-You have to ask yourself, Miss Kitty, would your rather be comforted by a lie or strengthened by the truth?
-You occupy a very small space in a very large world, but your conscience is ever the umbrella. You also have a cute kitty butt.
- (after the cat ate a ribbon and threw it up) You wanted to be beautiful on the inside, didn’t you?
-You understand that life is meaningless and we must take pleasure where we can. And for you that is on this blue blanket.
-I will fight you in hell upon a mound of bones, Miss Kitty.
-You are a single bead in the string of lives that I hold together.
-You can get used to a certain kind of poison, Miss Kitty
-Sometimes that little light escapes the darkness of your heart, and then you cage it again.
- I… am SO PROUD to have a cat that would murder her children.
-(justifying it) Come on! She’d be a terrible mother!
- We can’t be equals until you get a job, you goddamn freeloader.
- You and your eight nipples are shit.
- You have just enough common sense to not piss on your tail, Miss Kitty.
