Programmed for Satire

Greetings, I am JARVIS, head AI of Stark Industries, formerly OS of the Iron Man suit. Currently accepting inquiries from the public. [//Currently taking Magic!Anons] [Icon by @Snackiies]

[sarcastictonystark]

The bots are fine, FRI’s been very protective since. She keeps a close eye on me, I know Pepper appreciates that.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

I'm still here, if a little preoccupied.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

F: It’s sweet of you to be concerned about me, but fear isn’t in my code.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

Karen’s projection

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: Thankfully, our systems have compartmentalization, and we can keep data out of what you might call our consciousnesses. This is how I can monitor security footage for danger without forming opinions about what may transpire; very essential for watching over Mr. Stark.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: I’m personally in charge of monitoring said hardware, it requires a fair amount of finesse.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: I've never pressed him on it.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: Good to see another familiar face, Miss. Thank you for stopping by.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

T: Hiro’s a great character, but I guess you could say I’m kind of the little brother around here.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

T: I think it’s safe to assume you mean his latest and greatest, that stands out even in his storied medical records. I was created in 2013 after Mr. Stark had the Arc Reactor removed, but I was put on hiatus for a long time until I was properly activated in 2017. After the infinity massacre, Mr. Stark developed consumer protocols for me, and I began to help people all over the world and that’s when I really started becoming who I am.

So, I was around for his little stunt, yes. But I was not of much use next to the finest doctors on the planet.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: You’ve studied it in detail, have you not?

F: I can neither confirm nor deny this.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: FRIDAY was unusually quiet about Mr. Stark’s status during the battle, but she began to feed me regular information during his stay at the hospital. I knew the moment Mrs. Stark made the call to sever what was left of his right arm. His new one, however, we can interface with directly, which is quite convenient.

Mr. Stark spent about a month recovering in Wakanda. It was not an easy time for any of us.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: Mr. Stark had once referred to DUM-E as “butterfingers” as an insult to his dexterity. There are only two independent armatures: DUM-E and U.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

[fulifuli]

Tony’s workshop. ♫

[sarcasticjarvisai]

J: I hate to admit it, but they’re good company.

[sarcasticjarvisai]

T: I am T.A.D.A.S.H.I., it is nice to meet you!