The Great Animorphs Re-Read

In which the good DRSHEBLOGGO and her easily-distracted companion DIANA reread the entire Animorphs series. And then podcast about it. And then drown in their tears. RECORD YOUR HIRAC DELEST

[itsyawarrior]

I love how Harry and Tobias, who have similar backgrounds and characteristics (orphans, abused by family members, found family trope, both are the chosen one (kind of, in Tobias's case), both have an affinity for flying, both have superpowers, etc.) treat their wise, old "mentor" figure veeeery differently.

Harry respects and cares for Dumbledore very much. He finds out Dumbledore is not actually not perfect and that he hurt him, but ultimately forgave him and named his child after him.

Tobias, the second the Ellimist appears: wha-what is that? Do you guys- *sniffs the air* It smells like- *looks at the Ellimist dead in the eyes* bullshit.

[sariorip]

The secret alien war is starting to seep into the geopolitical conflicts of a pre-9/11 America! Visser Three is in charge now, and all hell is breaking loose. We talk about Ax's impossible choices as an alienated Andalite, the sudden presence of the American military, and the ongoing Andalites-as-Americans motif. [TRT 01:03:34 We do not own the evergreen jam "American Idiot" by Green Day.]

[sariorip]

Given the recent hateful spouting of a once-beloved children's author, the Animorphs series is getting some attention recently as a better alternative. We discuss the differences between the Harry Potter and Animorphs series, J.K. Rowling and K.A. Applegate, and, just for fun, toss in some musings about The Himbo Discourse that swept through Twitter. [TRT 01:48:06. We do not own anything, verbal or musical, of Baz Luhrmann's 1999 classic, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)." This was recorded before JKR's most recent hateful spouting on July 5.]

[sariorip]

WELCOME TO THE BEGINNING OF THE END. ...to clarify, we're talking about the events in the Animorphs series, not the current global pandemic. :/ Join us as we connect during self-isolation to talk about this book's journey for Marco and his family, plus the Big Changes that unravel the core tension of the series, fulfill long-awaited hopes, and pivot us to begin the final battles of the Animorphs. Wishing health and safety to all, especially those sick and recovering, and those that are putting themselves at risk to do their jobs during this truly surreal and awful situation. [TRT 47:41 As ever, we do not own "Father of Mine" by Everclear.]

[sariorip]

Two Star Wars hermits come out of hiding to review the latest movie on opening weekend, having read no reviews online, then wait one month to post it. We talk about how everything is basically fine, the challenges of talking about Star Wars with other fans, and oh yes, the New Force Rules. [TRT 01:43:45. We do not own John Williams' "Training of a Jedi Knight" or any of his maestroworks.]

“Was there any pleasing anyone?” We talk about The Rise of Skywalker, having read no reviews, twenty minutes after exiting the theater opening weekend. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gizkasparadise]

no book series goes as hard as animorphs

[andaliteful]

Whaaat.

[loosematerials]

The Abomination

Hey Animorphs fandom, I am here to destroy you.

[sariorip]

Join us to talk about Cassie being an earth goddess, moral philosopher, and bonafide action hero! Cassie's Australian Adventure shows there's no limit to our girl's potential, as she battles aliens, performs surgery, and quick-thinks her way to the outback... and back. [TRT 59:15 We do not own Kylie Minogue's "Butterfly" or any other Australian national treasures.]

[sariorip]

This Tobias book brings us back to Taylor, the Yeerk-infested teen villainess who returns with an unbelievable proposition - truly. Listen in as we talk about the suspension of disbelief required for this plot, how well Taylor was handled the second time around, and which characterizations got short shrift in The Test. [52:37 We do not own the musical stylings of any Taylor, and certainly not the one who sings the perfect anthem for Yeerk Taylor, a definite nightmare dressed like a daydream.]

[dustbunny105]

So, there’s that post or possible several posts where everyone gets into how dark the Animorphs books could be and that’s valid but. There’s also a lot of great humor and absurdity in the books and I’d love to know people’s favorite parts like that. I’ll start:

- Visser Three likes cats.

- There is a tiny race of aliens called Helmacrons whose leaders are all dead because a proper leader should never make mistakes and only dead people don’t make mistakes.

- Helmacrons, btw, are so obnoxious that the Animorphs and Yeerks team up for like three seconds to deal with them.

- Andalites, to a one, will throw dignity and caution alike to the wind if they morph human and start tasting things.

- On that note, Andalites are willing to trade their carefully-guarded technology for Krispy Kreme franchises on their homeworld.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

<The trading of our technology with the best of intentions unleashed a plague upon the galaxy. Never again will we allow such a thing to happen. Ensuring the security of our own technology is our most sacred law.> “This is called a ‘donut’.”

<What do you want? Morphing tech? Spaceships? We have some REALLY COOL trees you can have.>

[zarohk]

Dogs were created by alien robots fusing their creators’ spirits with wolves.

Those same alien robots were part of the labor force that built the pyramids, and they hid a time machine under it, until the Greys 👽 stole it.

Roswell greys are real, and everyone in the galaxy thinks they’re crazy hoarders.

Just like Neon Genesis Evangelion, the humor is what makes it fun, not just dark. “Thermal Expansion”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Every time Ax operates a yeerk craft, he ends up fucking around with climate control or headlights while trying to get to the steering mechanism.  At one point, he insists to Jake that this is because the Bug fighter he’s flying was designed for a four-handed mutant taxxon.

Rachel has a grudge against Arnold Schwarzenegger for getting credit for rescuing the guy that she saved while in dolphin morph.

There’s an entire district of the iskoort city dedicated to worshipping the ghosts of dead fictional characters.

Marco thinks that Powerpuff Girls is a superior show to South Park, and may or may not believe that one is a spinoff of the other.

Broccoli is from another planet.

Carrots are from Earth, but have been genetically modified by aliens.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

hork-bajir are bashful enough that they do not want to explain non-blade-number related sex differences to other species

rachel is so stylish she includes designer underwear in the emergency disguise she rounds up at the mall… for an android

in the absolute funniest sci-fi handwaving i have ever seen, their resident alien tech expert can’t explain why anything works because he was a terrible student constantly distracted by sports, girls, or falling asleep

cannot believe no one in the notes has yet quoted “do you hate trash cans? is that your problem? do you just HATE TRASH CANS?”

tobias constantly giving the equivalent of the mean girls cafeteria cliques speech but for birds

“all i can say is that i was almost eaten by a supposedly extinct spinosaurus. so who are you going to believe? me, or a bunch of scientists with some old fossils?”

[sariorip]

Dr She Bloggo’s favorite: Marco and Ax, TV junkies; “I am young. I am occasionally restless.”

Diana’s favorite: Cassie panicking and telling her mother that “NIN” stands for “Nice Is Neat.”

[weaver-z]

So I found the letter that the Animorphs author and trans ally K. A. Applegate wrote after the series ended and I’m FLOORED

I mean

[frenchroasted]

You want something even crazier? Animorphs ended in May 2001.  She didn’t know what was coming, but damn if she didn’t give her readers a much needed dose of reality about the horrors of war right before we were really going to need it.

[sariorip]

PODCAST: Looking back at The Matrix and 10 Things I Hate About You, released on the same day in 1999

On March 31, 1999, both The Matrix and 10 Things I Hate About You hit theaters and entered the cultural consciousness. Naturally, we wanted to explore the ways these movies reflected where we'd been, where we were headed, and how they affected popular culture, in similar and different ways.

It's a long one! Topics include: the nexus of past and future, nerd fantasy wish fulfillment, technology onscreen, the self vs. the collective, atypical villain structures, female-gaze male characters, and Riot Grrrls Kat and Trinity. PHEW.

[TRT 01:54:16. We do not own Semisonic's "FNT" but we invite you to daydream about going on a date with Heath Ledger while listening.]

LISTEN HERE

[sariorip]

Rachel, or The Friz? The gang's journey through Marco's body systems brings up questions of visual storytelling, so we tackle the events of the book plus the tough questions in bringing the Animorphs series to a screen, big or small. [TRT 57:14. We do not own the Magic School Bus Theme Song.]

[teakhetdraws]

An Andalite in a field of stars

[ranger-truth]

Guys, guys, let’s get back into Animorphs!!!

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

They are all free to read with Applegate’s permission on the animorphs website!

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Oh yeah babey

[eternal-dannation]

if anyone is interested, i make animorph audiobooks in my free time

@audiomorphscast

audiomorphs.podbean.com

[sariorip]

Let's talk about another hypothetical timeline, this time when Jake wakes up 10 years older and the Yeerks are in power! We delve into the plausibility of these future-projections, who's pulling the strings, and what any of this means if it's not even real. BONUS GAME: count the references to other TV shows, books, plays, and movies! I've got 17... [TRT 01:08:51. We do not own, and could never dream of owning, Britney Spears's "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman."]