my thoughts on adhd? i have the heart of a hardworking genius but the brain of a worm. im tired of only doing what i consider "the bare minimum", which takes me great effort. im not happy with a passing great or an 'okay'. i want to be excellent. im tired of not being able to read (one of my greatest passions), im tired of taking so fucking long to master something i dedicated my life to. it just takes so much from me. so much joy. all the work i could put into things that would make me MORE, my brain insists to put into things that make me feel LESS than human. can i spend hours preparing for a test or a presentation? no. i usually get at least a passing grade, sometimes i get something higher, but it just doesnt make me happy. i want to be on the top, i have the ambition for it, i just... im just too tired, man. since i was like 8 years old. it just never goes away. how am i supposed to have an actual job one day.
