it’s like it’s there but not there. my emotions, that is. idk, i mean sometimes i’m completely numb to a situation that would otherwise cause pain and/or sorrow but then other times, i still am kinda numb but i can feel the emotions lurking (for a lack of better word). i can think about it— see that’s the thing, even if i were to train my mind on the situation and the emotions i would otherwise be feeling, it’s still at an arm’s length, away from me.
like in this very moment as i write this post: something happened today; it’s hurting someone else, i can see it in her eyes and i can hear it in her voice and her choice of words. but for me, it’s there and i know it’s there but it’s not close enough to grab ahold of me. and i honestly don’t know if for me this is good or not.
