Answer to the question regarding my journey to Satanism.
Recalling moments from my childhood, I remember that my parents were quite religious, and I always questioned who God was and what his purpose was. However, since I was only nine years old, I couldn't fundamentally contemplate this question and asked people older than me what they thought about it.
The answers varied, but they all shared one motif - after death, for sins, you'll go to hell, where there will be cauldrons, demons, and so on. (Everyone around me was believers.) As the years went by, I became more and more doubtful because what was called "sin" was permissible for everyone if they went to the priest afterward, gave him money, and confessed their sins. I understood that even for a free religion, money was needed, and that a person cannot avoid these sins themselves.
At roughly the same age, I discovered the word "atheist" for myself and stopped going to church under any pretext. My parents reacted negatively to this because with my chronic illnesses, I had to visit the church until that moment to "recover." As you understand, nothing of the sort happened, and to this day, I remain with the same health issues. However, unlike the times when I believed in miracle healing through prayers, now, being a Satanist and ardently adhering to life's views, I have become much healthier. To delve into details, exacerbations and spontaneous attacks of my illnesses have ceased, and I no longer carry medicine with me. However, doctors' opinions about my health have not changed.
At the age of fourteen, after becoming closely acquainted with the word "Death," I began to understand my actions instead of childish pranks, and started reading a lot of literature from exact sciences to Nietzsche, then decided to revisit religions and search for answers to my questions. After reading their "sacred" books, I came to the following conclusion. In my eyes, religions began to look like instruments of control and management over people, rather than a source of spiritual enlightenment. I realized that many religious doctrines contradict scientific facts and logical reasoning.
For example, the teaching that the world was created in 7 days, when in reality, it took millions of years for the formation of the planet Earth. Or the teaching that man is the center of the universe when in reality, we live on a tiny planet in a vast Universe. I began to ponder about the meaning of life and what happens after death. But unlike religion, I did not find answers in mythical beings and heavenly kingdoms. I decided to seek answers in scientific and philosophical works, as well as in my inner world.
When I learned about Satanism, many of its principles seemed logical to me and aligned with my views on life. For example, the idea that each person chooses their own path and is responsible for their actions, as well as the principles, rules, commandments, and sins.
In conclusion, after years of observation from childhood, I came to the conclusion that the favorite pastime of religious people is shifting their responsibility onto God. Whether it works out or not, it's all "God's will," they cannot realize that all their failures are due to their own incompetence, and words like self-blame, self-criticism, and the like are unknown to them. All failures are seen as tests from God.
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