Sweet dreams

Are made of this

[satanscat589]

Bro 1: bro let's get matching anchor tattoos

Bro 2: why bro?

Bro 1: so our broship doesn't float away

Bro 2: bro..

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I GOOGLED DO WORMS BREATHE AND IT SUDDENLY WENT INTO FIRST PERSON (FIRST WORM?) POV AND IT THREW ME OFF SO FAR??

[gal-palindrome]

This is the best story I’ve ever written

[satanscat589]

Never accept when your Chinese roommate offers you food. I just ate rabbits meat:( poor bunny

[satanscat589]

I hate the feelin when I see someone cracking their knuckles and get the urge to crack mine too but i resist because I'm worried the person might think im copying them

[rydell]

i was trying to make my friend a bday cake but the dye on the decorative icing started leaking and dripping everywhere so it accidentally became the most ominous and violent looking baked good ive ever seen…… i slapped on some sprinkles to try and make it less threatening looking. it worked a little bit.

[tocif]

BIRTH

[relahvant]

so apparently “normal” people sleep in the pm hours and wake up in the am hours???

[flairey]

my officemates and i were arguing about the difference between a mouse and a rat so i googled it

and there we go

the difference is a rat plays jazz

[burghers-deactivated20131227]

seeing your reflection in the computer screen when ur lying down is horrifying and i wan t it banned

[pixelatedboobs-blog]

[just-for-grins]

[dajo42]

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

[fullmetalviolinist]

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

[harzilla]

-

[maneth985]

[doctorbullets-deactivated201610]

Amazing.

[pomeranian2]

[nice-wig-janis]

[missmella-deactivated20141215]

You guys I’m in Disney World and this afternoon my blood sugar dropped so low I got separated from my family and somehow bought an ice cream and then blacked out and woke up on a bench with chocolate sauce all over my arms and Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on my head this truly is a magical place.

[mutablerising]

[gifak-net]

[coonyincognito]

This is beautiful. XD

[kraestburns]

I’m guessing the brat’s mother tried chewing into them afterwards, too. Control your fucking children. Getting a cart to the ankle fucking hurts.

And to the people who say that the person should have spoken to the kid’s mom, watch the beginning of the gif. They did. The mother didn’t do shit.

[baruti-hyena]

It actually looks like the mother turns her son to do it again