I'm Trying

Hello thanks for looking at my blog

[regularlesbian]

this image represents all seven deadly sins

[justbrosthings]

[fredswift]

when you are french canadian this is 100% more funny

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

how did they get my grade 5 french teacher for this?

[cheezzee]

as a french (from France), i can confirm this is 50 times funnier

[galaxy-lilies]

*wheezing so much you have no fucking idea*

[only1600kids]

this video is brought to you by the amazing canadian teacher Authentik 

(it’s me)

[sixpenceee]

Created by Finnish artist JP Ahonen, the Belzebubs comic strip features an adorable metal-loving family and all of their dark adventures together. From having a little baby to having lunch with grandma - the strip features normal everyday things a family would do, but in a strangely adorable black metal way. 

[sevdawn]

Omg ILOVETHESE

[jumpingjacktrash]

addams family for the 21st century, i’m so happy!

in the last one, is he… ironing a steak? buddy, that’ll wreck your iron. just buy an electric grill. come on.

[titenoute]

Maybe that poor thing can’t afford it.

[thelionkingdaily]

The circle of life is sad today. Rest in the stars Robert Guillaume (November 30, 1927 – October 24, 2017), the eternal voice of Rafiki ♥ Thank you Robert!

[corvidaezero-deactivated2021061]

Because no gifset could do Terry’s monologue justice.

This may be the most important 3.5 minutes of television in years.

This episode needs multiple awards, and so does Terry Crews for his delivery.

[sourdoughcatloaf]

this episode had me in tears. how long have we been praying for things like this to be represented in a nuanced way? the conversation BETWEEN BLACK FOLKS, acknowledging generational differences in viewpoints, acknowledging that racial profiling and police brutality affects young black girls, addressing how police departments stifle progress through internal intimidation tactics, addressing the respectability politics and victim blaming that happens when black folks are targeted by police… for a half hour comedy B99 did a much better job of addressing police racism and brutality with this episode than any other tv show i’ve seen in recent years

[cctinsleybaxter]

A really harrowed-looking man who was probably in his 60s came into the shop today. He was wearing a gold-colored tie that kept sliding down the side of his neck because it was tied very poorly, and a rumpled light blue dress shirt. I did not see his legs or shoes. Part-time cashiers are sometimes just not afforded the luxury.

We said hello to each other as I scanned his items (diet coke and a nature valley granola bar- $2.69), me sounding more interested than usual just because he sounded so out-of breath and very engaged in his purchase. Also maybe because I could not see his shoes.

“How’s your life going?” He suddenly asked, swiping his card, not casually but almost pleadingly curious.

“Uhm, all right I s’pose” I said, too startled to think of a more cheery lie. 

He nodded somberly. “Me too… I guess.” He paused and looked at me for a minute and then just said “it’s a Monday, ya know.”

“Mondays are like this sometimes” I supplied, feeling like we were having a really weird conversation hidden under the one that was actually taking place.

And then he left. I forgot to look at his shoes.

[cctinsleybaxter]

PART II 

Honestly I had no idea that I would ever have the privilege of writing a sequel to this post. I considered it an odd moment, an interaction that changed me in a way, but a fleeting one. I automatically assumed our paths would never cross again, there was such a finality to that window of time on Monday August 22nd of 2016. And yet.

He returned.

I didn’t truly notice him come in, glancing up from whatever menial and already forgotten task I was busy with, but not registering who it was or why he seemed to put out an aura of familiarity. It had been weeks and I haven’t even caught a glimpse of him; the memory of Monday August 22nd of 2016 had faded like a dream. But lo he appeared before me, dressed in exactly the same fashion that made him look like he had just crawled out of carwash (albeit with a pink shirt and purple tie this go-around.)

His face lit up when he saw me, again holding a diet coke and a nature valley granola bar. ‘How is your day going?’ He asked earnestly.

‘Pretty well.’ I said, professionally containing myself, “how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good” he said, sounding more cheerful than before but just as harried. When I handed him back his change and items and he looked like he was going to cry. 

“Thank you” he whispered with a look of reverence I have only seen on the faces of ancient church members receiving the eucharist.

“It’s no trouble,” I promised, trying not to look perplexed.

He bowed (LITERALLY BOWED) and then made a hurried exit stage left, reminiscent of Lear just before the second act, halfway into madness.

A Lear I had again forgotten to note the footwear of.

[cctinsleybaxter]

PART. 3. 

Okay I’m not even bothering with the pretentious Hemingway style for this one; I’m still reeling over the fact that he came back after four months AND on a Friday instead of a Monday no less.

Notes:

He was wearing literally the exact same shirt and tie he had on from part one, only with an orange sweater and fancy jacket over the ensemble to indicate that it was winter

He bought Lay’s sour cream and onion potato chips this time instead of his standard granola bar, but the diet coke was as usual

He told me that he always felt guilty for buying snack food but ‘you have to do what you have to do’

He then smiled sadly at me and said ‘enjoy your weekend… If you can.’

I sat in stunned, unblinking silence for about six minutes until a customer came up and looked me over worriedly

Who is this man

WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING TO LOOK AT HIS SHOES

[cctinsleybaxter]

Part Four

First thing’s first,

Probably about two years of wear on them but otherwise well cared for. Socks were white, which I was only able to notice because this human being has zero clothes that fit and his pant cuffs were hovering about 3 inches away from his shoes. I keep thinking his outfits can’t possibly get any better, but this one takes the cake:

Crumpled white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, gigantic scarf that looked as though it were made out of mouldy carpet, neon orange striped tie, and a matching neon orange plastic digital watch that probably came out of a box of honeycombs back in 1988.

He did not grace me with his odd conversational charm today, but I received something better. A clue. 

Today he was buying a red notebook and three ballpoint pens instead of snacks (which was questionable but this is a Thursday we’re talking about; the day that falls on the chaotic spectrum and which I am known for my overzealous distrust of), and when he pulled out his luxury black Mastercard to pay for his items he said eight words which shook me to my very core.

“I do get a staff discount on these.”

This has never come up before because discount plans don’t apply to food items. I have no need to ask the identity of a man buying a granola bar and a diet coke. But now.

I didn’t speak as I handed him his receipt, just nodded courteously. Only staff members know about the specific discount so I had no real need to ask for an ID for proof, and I was cursing my mistake in not asking for it anyway. 

I must find this man. I have been here for three years and yet have only seen him within the confines of the store at odd intervals. I’ve never even seen him step into the store, or leave (another customer is somehow always in line behind him and demanding my attention.) I spent half an hour going through the college’s entire staff directory this afternoon… and may have found something. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, I am not yet certain and will have to gather a few more items of information, but for the first time I can promise a part to follow. Perhaps, an ending.

[cctinsleybaxter]

Cinq

Not an ending of any sort, but a very brief update from the field. My work schedule has changed since January and I was honestly beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t see the man again until the fall, as it’s been more than two months now. He startled me quite a bit when he literally blew in as if by a gust of wind right as my shift was ending. 

He was in quite a hurry and only bought a diet coke ($1.50) before blustering(?) off, giving me no chance to run an investigation or perception check, but if fashion checks were a thing…

Please imagine, if you will, a man wearing a yellow polka-dot tie that was not even tied, an orange scarf, the watch mentioned in my previous entry, khakis, a bright periwinkle shirt… and an impeccably matching woolen periwinkle cape. He was also carrying a very large black satchel with tartan lining, every single pocket of which was unzipped.

He looked like a hedge wizard.

I want answers.

[cctinsleybaxter]

6.

I found him.

Masters in theology from Harvard 

Distinguished professor of philosophy

God-tier identification photo; I cannot believe that I have not been hallucinating this man for the past 12 months and 41 days.

[elodieunderglass]

this is a  fucking triumph

[incidentalcomics]

How to Finish

I drew this poster for Jon Acuff and his FINISH book tour. Big thanks to Jon for this collaboration, his book has some great ideas about how to complete creative and life goals.

[preachelectric]

when u have a 2am mental breakdown but u wake up fine the next day

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

easily among the top 10 gifs of all time, judging both by funniness and versatility

[blackdenimjeans]

He like to call me 🍑 when we get this nasty

[blackdenimjeans]

Turn that 🍒 out

[blackdenimjeans]

He 💦 all on my 👗

[officialcrow]

guess i got the radio edit

[mydollyaviana]

A crash course on non-disney films and studios (sequels not included; list is not exhaustive)

[romythe]

This should be standard knowledge for movielovers

[savagelucy42]

It is a pet peeve of mine when people refer to any animated film as Disney. And by “pet peeve” I mean it makes me want to punch them in the face.

[teddylacroix]

Gosh, the Sulllivan Bluth ones were my childhood…

[leonardcohenofficial]

fun studying tip: if you’re a procrastinator, play tom jones’s “what’s new pussycat” on repeat while writing your papers and do not turn it off until you are finished, it will motivate you to finish that essay as quickly as possible

[riverboatfrogs-deactivated20181]

make sure to throw one “it’s not unusual” in the middle while u take ur quick snack break

[captaincrusher]

Here you have the Infinite Jukebox that will play an infinite version of What’s new pussycat, randomly jumping through the verses and never getting to the end. 

[leonardcohenofficial]

do you ever regret a post and the hell it creates

[musicforyourplants]

[boy-matt-deactivated20181204]

*slams reblog*

[ariesaav]

Klezmer dolphins.

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I don’t know that I’ve reblogged anything faster in my entire tumblr life.  

[deadwithoutdata]

The one dancing and flailing at the end

[harryedward]

No offense but I want to fall in love with someone who wants to fall in love with me

[peteneems]

[sunnyharley]

Legends only

[maybe-itdoesntmatterr-deactivat]

Reblog for wholesome good luck

[jakeyllenhaal]

View this post on Instagram

UMM Hugh had me scared there for a second I was about to find out who I need to beat for making him sad

[jakeyllenhaal]

Okay maybe I’m being a little dramatic but I’m honestly kind of offended at the lack of notes this has? Hugh CLEARLY put a lot of thought and effort into this joke, and you can tell that he’s proud of it he smiles and even chuckles at his joke. Is it so hard for y’all to show appreciation for a good man? He’s trying to be funny is Wolverine himself not good enough for you guys? God

[saccharinesylph]

That satisfied dad laugh at the end

[surprisebitch]

that was such a DAD joke

[azaleatown]

Got a problem with me? Kiss me on the lips dude