God Wants You To Have Good Sex

A ministry for Gileadite teenagers, providing accurate and orthodox sex education. [OOC: This is a Cascadia RP blog and full of lies. Learn about Cascadia here.]

[satisfy-you-always]

have you ever struggled with ssa?

I am not personally tempted to commit the sin of SSA, but I strive to listen to the experiences of whose who are.

[RP blog]

[satisfy-you-always]

hey thank you for your advice! everything worked out great and now my husband has bought a dragon costume :D

I’m so glad! I love hearing about a happy ending. <3

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[satisfy-you-always]

Thank you! (I definitely *want* to kiss him, he's so kissable-looking and sweet and and and...I just wasn't sure if it was alright! I will read my Bible and pray but I think I know what the answer will be!)

Yay! I hope you enjoy kissing your fiance. :) Young love is adorable.

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[satisfy-you-always]

I am a newly-remarried widow, and last night during intercourse with my new husband I accidentally fantasized about a threesome between him, me, and my late first husband. Is this sinful?

An accidental fantasy is not sinful! All kinds of thoughts pass through our brains every day, and unless they are deliberately entertained, they are not sins. 

Deliberately fantasizing about a threesome between you, your husband, and your late first husband would be sinful, because you can only be married to one person at a time. 

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[satisfy-you-always]

I'm considering having myself artificially inseminated by my fiance, do you think that's a good idea? his parents are insisting on a wedding fancy enough that it's going to take months to set up and I'm so scared about my fertility window...

There is nothing sinful about artificial insemination, so it is your personal decision.

I myself struggle with infertility, and I’d like to encourage you to consider the wisdom of being artificially inseminated. Being childless is a hard cross to bear, and it is best to avoid it if you can. If you’re comfortable with it, artificial insemination by your fiance can be a good choice.

Be warned that some unkind people will think you’ve had sex before marriage. Prepare yourself with scripts ahead of time (”my fiance and I used artificial insemination because I was concerned about my small fertility window”) if you decide to go this route.

[RP blog]

[satisfy-you-always]

is SSA still wrong if I fantasize about duplicating myself and engaging in ultimately masturbatory acts with my duplicate for my husband's pleasure? (and re-merging with my duplicate afterwards so we stay the same being)

...honestly, I have no idea. On one hand, anal sex is not sinful when done by a married heterosexual couple, even though it is the iconic homosexual sex act. On the other hand, you are having sex with a woman, even if it is yourself (?). 

I suggest praying about it and following God’s guidance for you. 

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[satisfy-you-always]

when I was younger I had recurring fantasies about being carried off and ravished by a dragon. Now I sublimate these sinful urges by fantasizing about my husband gaining shapeshifting abilities, turning into a draconic form, and making love to me. I confided in a friend, and she thinks I'm still being sinful. Can I have a second opinion?

It is not sinful to fantasize about your husband turning into a dragon, any more than it is sinful to fantasize about having sex with your husband in space (even though you are not an astronaut) or having sex with your husband on a Hawaiian beach (even though you can’t afford the vacation fee). God has not commanded us not to have sex with dragons and your fantasy is about your husband.

I suggest sharing your fantasies with your husband! Sharing sexual fantasies may result in deeper intimacy and a more fulfilling sex life, and his love and acceptance (and perhaps arousal) will reassure you that you aren’t doing anything sinful. 

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[satisfy-you-always]

I think previous anon's fantasy isn't really sinful if she isn't lusting after any of the other couples? I'm not sure I understand why this would be wrong.

It is wrong to involve outsiders in the marriage bed even if you are not lusting after any of them (this is why, for example, filming porn is wrong).

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[satisfy-you-always]

I have a child who is intersex--my child's genitals are actually ambiguous between sexes, it's a rare birth defect, this isn't some strange ca*adian thing. I'm so frightened! I don't know how to guide my child's gender development--the doctors have told me they can surgically correct my child's genitals in one direction or the other, but I'm terrified of giving them the go-ahead and then later learning I was wrong about which sex God meant them to be.

Intersex people are beloved children of God. In fact, Jesus Himself discusses people who were “born eunuchs.” Nothing in the Bible implies that being intersex is sinful or morally wrong in any way. 

In such cases, it is best to hold off on surgery until the child can express an opinion. Consult your doctors about which gender to provisionally consider your child to be. By the time your child is three or four, he or she will express a preference for a particular gender. Don’t worry if it’s different than the one you assigned your child. With prayer and support, your child will develop normally. 

When your child is older, consider taking him or her to sessions with a Biblical counselor who focuses on sex and gender issues among children. Your pastor will be able to give you recommendations. Almost certainly, your counselor will reassure you that your child is developing normally and there is nothing to be worried about.

[RP blog]

[lilies-on-water]

you're *marrying them???* are you serious?????

of course I’m serious, I love them and want to spend the rest of our lives together and want to affirm that commitment. (were you seriously expecting me to say “no, I was joking”?)

[satisfy-you-always]

I have followed your blog for a while and prayed about you, and I believe God is laying it on my heart to express my concerns. 

Heterosexual sex is special. It is the only kind of sex which can conceive a child and through which we can participate in God’s creative act of making the world. 

Men and women were designed to be complementary. The man is active, solid, and a leader; the woman is receptive, yielding, and submissive. Two men simply cannot have the same complementarity relationship that a man and a woman can. Who makes the final decision when a decision must be made? Surely you have noticed the way your natural activity and desire to lead has led to conflict with another man with similar desires. You might think you can resolve these conflicts by wearing a dress and behaving femininely, but you are still a man, you will always be a man, and you have a man’s emotional needs. 

And it seems most regrettable of all to marry more than one man, particularly men who were already married to each other. Do you really think you will be the priority in their lives? You deserve a spouse who loves you and only you, Lily.  

Many people believe that SSA treatment will involve ending their relationships with other men. And perhaps that is true, if the relationship were only based on sex, or for a season to flee temptation. But I believe you are marrying your partners because you love them. The desire for same-sex love and affection is pure and good; it is just inappropriate to express it through sexuality. After treatment, you will still be able to have a loving relationship with your partners! But it will be a happier relationship because you aren’t trying to force them into a mold into which they don’t fit, in order to resolve your childhood conflicts and traumas. 

Your SSA is treatable and perhaps even curable. You don’t have to make these choices. 

[satisfy-you-always]

my fiance wants to kiss me, but I'm not sure if it's alright to kiss him before we're married. my pastor thinks it's alright but my mother thinks it's wrong. help?

I notice a conspicuous absence here: your opinion about kissing your fiance. The opinion that ultimately matters is not your fiance’s or your mother’s or your pastor’s but yours and God’s. If you don’t want to kiss your fiance, that is all the reason you need not to kiss your fiance.  

God has told us to flee sexual immorality but has not given us any specific instructions about kissing and other forms of physical affection before marriage. Therefore, He likely wills different things for different people. For some, the progression from kissing to intercourse on the wedding night is frightening and overwhelming and leads to long-term sexual dysfunction. For others, saving your first kiss for your wedding day is romantic and allows you to avoid temptations to sexual sin.

I suggest praying and reading your Bible. God will guide you. When you come to a sense of inner peace about your decision and hear His voice inside you, you will know what to do. 

[RP blog]

[satisfy-you-always]

I normally try to avoid politics here, but--

Many of the things the Eyes of God do are good. They’re the first line of defense against terrorist attacks like the tragedy that happened in DC. They protect us against heretics, atheists, practicing homosexuals, and other sinners. 

However, some things Eyes do are, I believe, sinful. I am an old woman and I remember before the Republic of Gilead, when we had freedom of speech. Of course, I’m no extremist-- I don’t think Nazis or atheists should have the right to proselytize. But I think a faithful Gileadite shouldn’t have to be afraid of an Eye when, after praying and studying the Bible, she says what the Holy Spirit is calling her to say-- and I’m saddened to say that in our current society people are often afraid.

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[satisfy-you-always]

I've been thinking and praying for a while about why pornography is sinful, and--my husband and I want to record ourselves having sex for our own private enjoyment later on, do you think that would be non-sinful? That is the conclusion my husband and I have reached but we're afraid of accidentally sinning if we're wrong.

I believe there is nothing sinful about recording sex for your own private enjoyment (or with filming yourself masturbating, or with taking nudes with only your husband as the intended audience). The sin is in incorporating outsiders into the marriage bed, not in the act of photographing or taking video of yourself. Photographs and video are not sinful in and of themselves; the sin is the use to which they are put. If you use them to enrich your marital bed, it can be a way of honoring God.

Of course, be sure to use appropriate computer security measures so that young or curious people can’t stumble across it!

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[satisfy-you-always]

One reason many “gay” people avoid treatment for their SSA is that they’re afraid of giving up their close relationships with people of the same gender. Same-sex attraction, however, is the inappropriate eroticization of the natural and normal human desire for friendship and nonsexual physical touch with people of the same gender. Many people with SSA believe they will only get those needs met through homosexual relationships and sex. However, through the process of recovery, you’ll learn how to get those needs met in a healthy way. 

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[satisfy-you-always]

The cause of homosexuality is a failure of a person’s sexuality and gender identity to develop normally. Like any other developmental difference, it is not a sin in itself-- any more than it is a sin to have autism or a cleft palate. The cause of a person’s failure to develop a normal sexuality and gender identity is called their “root.” 

Common roots include:

Childhood trauma, such as childhood sexual abuse or emotional abuse or neglect on the part of one’s parents.

Failure of one’s parents to model appropriate gendered behavior.  

An absence of appropriate role models of one gender or the other.  

A parent’s desire for a child of the opposite gender. 

Same-sex peer rejection and bullying. 

A formative same-sex erotic experience. 

Exposure to pornography at a young age. 

Eroticization of same-sex intimacy at a young age, perhaps due to “misfiring” of neurons associated with sex because of the overactive sexuality of puberty.

[RP blog]

[thegloryofthemorning]

thinking about quitting my job.

[satisfy-you-always]

I’m praying for you. I hope God will guide you to the right decision.

[satisfy-you-always]

I have this recurring fantasy about having sex with my husband in a room full of other couples who are having sex, and sometimes the older ones walk around the room and give advice to younger couples after they're done. Do you think this fantasy is sinful?

I believe it is a sinful fantasy. The marital bed is private and should not be opened to outsiders. That’s why pornography is wrong, “swinging” and “polyamory” are wrong, and premarital sex is wrong. 

Can you think about what you get out of the fantasy and see if there’s a way to incorporate that in a non-sinful fantasy? For example, if you like the idea of receiving mentoring from an older couple about sex, maybe you can imagine praying together and asking for advice, then having sex in separate rooms.

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