I read your latest chapter and I saw you got engaged, congratulations that's quite exciting!!!
In other questions are there any tidbits or insights you'd like to share about "This Time Around?"
Yess! Thank you 🥰 I’m getting married on the 25th! Then I’ll be able to get back to writing~
Hmm… as for something about This Time Around… I guess I would say that I didn’t expect that one of the big themes of this story (having to choose between the family you were raised in and the person you want to be with) ended up being way more relevant to my life than I expected it to lol
And having entered my first serious relationship midway through this story has offered me more insight to the realities of loving someone. I hope that I am able to include this new understanding in the way I write Childe and Zhongli’s relationship going forward once they are able to push through their terrible past and get their second chance.
im obsessed with the way you write eruri and the 21 century reincarnation au was just *chefs kiss* these boys deserve some happiness youre a fantastic writer
Moonlight streams through the open window where Levi sits, sipping tea and looking out at the stars. Erwin appreciates the calm silence that has descended upon them after a long evening of discussing missions and tactics. He, too, gazes at the heavens which have caught Levi’s rapt attention, but his eyes keep straying to those moonlit features seated in the window.
And then the silence is broken by Levi’s voice, uncharacteristically soft and hesitant. The change alerts Erwin that they are about to breach into a more personal territory.
“For those in the underground, if they could have one wish, it would be to live freely under this night sky…”
The porcelain teacup hovers against those lips as they ponder which words to speak next. Erwin waits for whatever he has to say, for he can tell Levi’s had this on his mind for a while now. He runs that first statement through his mind again. And Erwin sees the painful truth. It’s as if Levi got his wish, but at the cost of everything he holds dear. Erwin’s own goals come to mind, but before he can dive into the rabbit hole of weighing the prize with its cost, Levi finds his next words.
“Your desire to uncover the truths of this world are similar. I suppose.. it’s why I’m drawn to you.” He takes a sip of his tea. “Say, Erwin… If you knew your wish could never come true, what would you wish for instead?”
It’s strange to hear Levi speak of desires and wishes. At first, Erwin doesn’t know how to answer the question. For as long as he could remember, he’d only desired one thing: knowledge.
He’s on the verge of teasing Levi about losing faith in his commander, when, for the final and unignorable time, his eyes catch on the other’s pale skin framed by that midnight dark hair… Oh.
There is one more thing he desires from this world. If he’s being honest, he’s known it for a while.
Before wisdom can catch up with his mouth, it betrays him. “I’m afraid my second wish is about as far out of reach as the first,” he utters.
And he should hide his face, shove his emotions back into the corner they belong in, but Levi is already turned to look at him to inquire his meaning. And Erwin knows his eyes tell all, because Levi’s eyes grow wide in comprehension.
Erwin braces himself for a violent reaction of disgust. Instead, there is the soft clink of the teacup being set on the window ledge as Levi rises from his perch.
Erwin sits up straighter in the chair he’d been leaning upon the back of as Levi crosses the distance between them. The man’s unreadable eyes make Erwin wary as much as they also excite him. Levi doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of him and Erwin is forced to crane his neck to keep eye contact. Even seated as he is, Levi’s face still isn’t very far up there. Especially with the way he’s leaning down towards-
Erwin’s brain stutters to a halt as Levi’s breath ghosts over his lips. But Levi stops there, gaze switching back and forth between Erwin’s eyes.
After a moment, Erwin’s brain reboots itself and he realizes Levi is dangling his wish right in front of him. Eyes, silver in the moonlight, challenge him to reach out and take, take.
And so he stretches upwards and closes the distance, a mere soft brush of lips. His hand finds its way up to brush the pad of his thumb lightly over one of those pale cheeks. And then he’s pulling back. He’s not sure why he was allowed this gift, and he’s afraid it will only cause him to want even more. So he pulls away, a small smile on his lips.
Levi leans back as well and blinks. He appears confused. “Well that’s not exactly what I was expecting.”
Erwin doesn’t know what to make of it. “You... weren’t expecting my affection?”
“Well… with the way you were looking at me.. I just thought..” Levi glances away, finding the floorboards more interesting than his awkward explanation. “I didn’t expect that kind of kiss. I expected, well.. never mind.”
Erwin doesn’t think he’s ever seen Levi flustered before. His face has gone beet red. Leave it to Levi to offer himself up without a second thought, but then get shy when there are feelings involved.
Erwin tilts his head as he examines Levi, who has started walking towards the door, embarrassed scowl on his face. He stops to pick up his discarded shirt and that’s when Erwin notices the tent in Levi’s pants.
Blood immediately rushes south as Erwin realizes the full extent of what Levi had expected to happen.
Afraid that he’d let the moment slip away, Erwin nearly knocks his chair over in his rush to be out of it. Just before he reaches him, Levi’s eyes look up from where he was fastening the first button. They widen at whatever he sees on Erwin’s face just before his hands are pried from his shirt and he is pushed backwards into the wall.
“Wha-?” His words cut off into a groan by Erwin’s thick bulge grinding against him.
“Sorry I’m slow when it counts… This must be what you were expecting?”
He doesn’t give Levi time to answer as he slots their mouths together. He’s rough, and everything that he gives, Levi gives right back to him. Erwin grinds against him, pushing that smaller frame into the wall, and it’s all so intoxicating. Too intoxicating. Each kiss.. each push of their hips together feels like a dose of poison. Because after this, Erwin knows he will be a dying man, and Levi, his only antidote. He forces himself to break away. Levi releases his lips begrudgingly, giving a confused grunt of complaint.
“You want me, right?” Levi pants, “I’m yours.”
Erwin sucks in a breath, holding back. “Levi, I don’t want to do this if you’re only doing it out of some sense of pity or feeling like you owe me. I want all of you. Not just your body.”
Again, he prepares himself for a rejection.. to be laughed at. And Levi does laugh. However, it is not mocking. It’s soft, and slightly exasperated as Levi says, “Yeah, I got that from your first kiss, dumbass.” He punctuates his remark with a swipe of his tongue up the column of Erwin’s throat.
“Like I said, I’m yours.”
Erwin’s breathing hitches as a shiver runs through his body, and in the next moment, a button bounces across the floorboards as Levi’s shirt is ripped from his body.
He makes quick work of undoing the drawstring of Levi’s pants before divesting himself of his own.
From there, it is a battle fought between their rush and the need to be slow. For neither of them had been prepared for such an act this night, but both were incapable of waiting a moment longer than necessary.
When Erwin finally breaches Levi’s walls, it is not easily accomplished. Urged on by Levi’s insistence that it happen now, he somehow manages to fit the spit-slicked head of his large cock into that tight space.
Braced against the unforgiving wall by the insistent push of Erwin’s hips, Levi gasps in a potent mixture of discomfort and pleasure.
Sensing that discomfort, Erwin attempts to withdraw, but Levi grasps onto him, holding him in place.
“Don’t stop,” the smaller man barely growls. His eyes pry themselves open and bore into Erwin’s, daring him to deny him any longer.
A familiar thrill runs through Erwin in response. Just like the day they first met, a wicked grin splits his lips beyond his control. His admiration and carnal lust for this man dig themselves out of the hole he had long since buried them in, and Erwin pushes forward, burying himself inside of Levi as far as he can go.
He’s careful, aware that all things break. But he dares not stop. He can’t.
Just as Levi has given all of himself to Erwin, Erwin gives all of himself in return. He gives and he gives and he gives. Levi’s muffled cries of pleasure reward each thrust until he has nothing left to give.
Together, they reach their end, although it is not truly an end. Not yet. Erwin holds Levi tightly to him for as long as he can. For he, of all people, knows that in this world, all things eventually break.
