Being lovingly mean and frustrating is encouraged.
Ruined orgasms are a perfect example of your control and the hierarchy your relationship is built upon. Pleasurable orgasms, both yours and his, are your property - your domain - your realm. They are reserved for you and your pleasure. As the Divine Feminine, you inherently hold the right and privilege to experience a pleasurable orgasm, in any manner and at any time of your choosing.
Being the loving dominant, you own, control, and use his pleasure as a tool to deepen his submission, modify his behavior, manipulate his sexuality, and enrich your lives together. You choose if he is allowed a pleasurable orgasm, a ruined orgasm, a pleasureless milking, or nothing at all (remember, for health reasons he does need to be drained periodically).
Every ruined orgasm, every denied release, every pleasureless milking stakes your right and claim to him and his pleasure. The frustrating results of his unsatisfying releases will leave him wanting, hollow, and empty. He'll soon become dependent upon you, your pleasure, and your loving dominance to fill that void.
YOU become his pleasure. YOU become his fulfillment. YOU become his satisfaction. YOU become his Goddess.
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