yeehaw

[annabellelandry]

"Well, now I have to save it for when you're with me. Like, sure I could just go, but it won't be the same, you know?" One of the perks of Savannah's move was that Annabelle had her own built-in tour guide for her trip. It wasn't quite worth how much she'd missed her while they'd been apart, but it was a silver lining all the same. She wasn't sure how she'd cope in a city like this without at least one person she knew, and the fact it was Savannah was even better. "Oh, Honey," she wasn't quite sure what to say. She'd never been in a relationship that felt like 'it', so instead, she wrapped her arms around Savannah in a loose side-hug. "And what did he say when you spoke to him about it? Or is he just not engaging in the talking side of stuff at all?" It hadn't occurred to Annabelle that Savannah hadn't tried to talk to him at all. That just seemed far too insane to comprehend. "It's not stupid at all. If you love the guy, you need to do what you can to protect that." Which led her neatly to her next point. "Which was probably how Whitney felt about whatever trashbag she was dating at the time." She'd spoken to Whitney briefly when she pitched up in the city - and her version of events didn't match with Savannah's at all. "I saw her," she confessed. "And she didn't mention that. If she knows about it, she isn't talking." She sighed, releasing Savannah to run a hand through her hair. "There's nothing wrong with it. You're not a bad guy for looking out for your sister. But I can't really blame her for being hurt by it all either. Sorry." She didn't want to piss Savannah off, but she didn't want to lie to her, either. "Is it all really worth not speaking to each other over, though? I mean, that's your sister."

[savannahxlandry]

Savannah leaned into the hug, not totally sure how to feel about the whole thing herself. "I think he's just..." She trailed off, not wanting to speak on Rocco's behalf but also not sure how to define it properly. Traumatized? Struggling to just stay afloat after what happened? "Not doing great, I guess. He's had a lot hit him all at once, and I think that it's beyond anything I can do to help. I honestly feel like I'm part of the problem sometimes, but I don't know what to do other than just try and be there. I just wish he'd give me a sign if he feels different. I think he loves me, too, but I don't want him to feel like he has to stay with me or anything, you know? I don't want to tie him down if he can find happiness somewhere else." Sav's jaw set as she listened to Annabelle's side of things. She was usually quick to react, but never with her. If she was going to hear anyone out, especially when it came to matters with Whitney, it was her. "Oh," she sighed, assuming the word would've gotten back to her pretty quick. Or maybe it didn't because her rat of an ex actually did as Savannah asked and went no contact. "I don't know. You're a Landry, you know how stubborn we get. It's just...I told her he was bad, and I spent so much time consoling her that I put Rocco on the back burner, and everything just got messed up. I think I'm mad at all of them for that," she confessed. "I'm mad at Whitney for willingly jumping into that fire and thinking I'd just quietly stand back and watch it happen again, and I'm mad at him for expecting me to read his mind and perfectly understand every piece of his grief. I'm just one person, you know? I know I could've done better with the both of them, and I feel bad about not being able to, but I have my own shit, too." She felt tears pricking at her eyes, not realizing how much she'd been repressing all of her own anger and hurt. "Sorry. I didn't mean for our visit to turn into the therapy session I've apparently been puttin' off."

[annabellelandry]

Annabelle shook her head. "Haven't quite been brave enough to head into Times Square yet. Besides, everyone I've met here said not to bother. That stuff's for tourists. Which I kind of guess I am, but I'd like it to be less obvious." She didn't miss the way Savannah's grin waivered, the reason for that becoming clearer the more she spoke. "I see." It wasn't the news she wanted to hear from her favourite cousin. Annabelle leaned forward, cupping her chin in her hands and resting her elbows on her knees. "I guess that begs the question - why are you still together if it's been that bad?" She wasn't trying to convince Savannah that they shouldn't be together - just wanting to get the lay of the land. At the mention of her other cousin, Annabelle grimaced a bit. "Talking of rough," she muttered. "You guys still on your non-contact thing?"

[savannahxlandry]

"Tourist, schmourists, Annie. It's so cool, we'll go to some greasy diner one of these evenings then check it out. It's kinda meh in the daylight, but at night...it's all lit up and alive and makes me feel like something special is happening, and I need you to experience that along with me." She wanted to keep talking about all things New York, but she knew Rocco was included in that and that if she had to be honest with anyone, it was Annabelle. "I guess it's cause I love him," she shrugged. "And he's kind of it for me, you know? I've never met anyone that matches my weird quite like him, and despite all the shitty stuff that's gone down, I don't want to throw it away over some bumps in the road. Big bumps, but still. Is that stupid?" She'd never considered there to be another option, and that might've been foolish, but the Landry's were all stubborn. She loved Rocco and consciously chose to love him at the same time. "Yeah. I ran into her ex while doing the touring stuff and, uh, I pretty much made him go no contact with her. Pretty sure she found out, so it's been radio silence since and even before that...but you know, it's whatever." Savannah huffed, the tell-tale sign of a rant wanting to break through. "And, like, what's so bad about that anyways, Annie, huh? So what if I told her garbage ex to never talk to her again? I just don't get why I'm the bad guy for doing that. It's a good thing. I shouldn't be villainized for protecting her if she can't protect herself."

[annabellelandry]

"You know, I thought people back home were a little funny," Annabelle said between mouthful of chips. "But these New Yorkers are something else. I don't know how you stand it, Sav." She was in town on an indefinite basis, but she wasn't sure she'd ever really get used to the city. "If I hadn't missed you so damn much, I swear, I'd be on the first plane back to Georgia. Bad back and all." Having her cousin nearby was definitely the highlight of her trip so far. "Your boy seems nice, though. I'm glad I got to meet him." Admittedly, this Rocco guy didn't seem to have much going on between the ears, but he was definitely a decent enough guy.

@savannahxlandry

[savannahxlandry]

"Trust me," Savannah said after a large swallow of Dr Pepper, "it's like free entertainment. Not that our family isn't full of that, but still. Nothing like a little city visit to really open your eyes. Have you seen the Elmo in Times Square yet?" Sav's smile grew upon hearing Annabelle say she missed her, but there was no way to hide how it faltered with the mentioning of Rocco. "He is, although between you and me, Annie, I'm...I don't know. I was gonna say surprised we're still together, and I hate that I'm thinking that way, but...it's just been rough." That was an understatement. Savannah loved Rocco, but in her mind, their relationship was hanging on by a thread. There was so much that had happened between them and no real conversation or sit down attempt to clear it up. "I bet Whitney's just loving it, though, knowing I'm down in the dumps. Not that I've heard anything from her, but I can imagine."

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

He knew he was hurting her, and he hated himself for it. Rocco knew that he wasn’t a bad guy - he didn’t want to hurt anybody on purpose. But when everyone around him was falling apart, and he could barely hold it together himself, he had to be a little harder. There was a part of him that wanted to open his arms and take her into them, to tell her that it was all going to be okay. But where would that get them? It was more things left unsaid, more resentment bottled up to erupt another time. How would that make anything better? And if he did choose honesty now, could it get any worse? Rocco pressed a hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he tried to think about what he wanted. It was all overwhelming, and he felt put on the spot, pressured to make a decision now that would have monumental consequences on the both of them. “That didn’t give you the right to leave.” He can accept his own faults here, but where they are now is a result of both of their misguided actions. “So where does that put us now? I fucked up first, you fuck up back, and now what?”

Her apology changed everything though. As soon as it slipped from her mouth, Rocco’s hardness melted away. He didn’t want to fight her, and didn’t want to make her feel any guiltier than she already did. She may not have reacted in the best way, but nothing that happened was her fault. The fact that she was here, saying sorry and trying to make it work, said a lot. He had two choices - he could continue to hold what had happened above her head, or he could work with her to make things right. It was a lot to process all at once, but only one of those things was ever going to make him happy. “I’m sorry too.” He sighed, allowing his hand to drop from his head to his side. “I didn’t mean to take it all out on you, or make you feel like my shit was on your shoulders. I guess I didn’t know what I really wanted or what I was feeling until it was too late, and by then I had already pushed you away.” He stopped, brow furrowing, giving himself a moment to think. “I want to fix this. I really do. It’s just… a lot all at once, you know?”

Savannah shook her head as he apologized. Sure, it was nice to hear, but it didn’t feel necessary. “For what, grieving? Never apologize for that, Rocco. I’m not saying that I like what happened between us, because I hate not talking to you and being scared of you, but...I get it. I do.” Just because she understood what’d gotten them there and why he felt how he did didn’t mean that she was happy about it. Far from it. Still, they were both standing there for a reason, and they hadn’t left for a reason, too. For the time being, maybe that was enough.

She nodded slowly, feeling a bit overwhelmed herself. It still felt like she wasn’t saying or doing as much as she could, though. She took a few steps closer, not enough to fully break the distance between them but to test the waters. Every single part of her wanted to reach over and grab his hand, but she didn’t think she was welcome to do that just yet. “I...I don’t know what to say or do right now to fix it,” she admitted. “I hope that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to try, cause God, Rocco...there’s no one else. There’s no one else I’d rather get into big blow up fights with or think about before I go to bed. Not a single person other than you.” She didn’t even stop to wince as her voice came out high pitched from the sobs lodged in her throat. The words, along with the tears, were spilling on their own terms. “And I understand if you don’t trust me right now, but you know me. Better than anyone. I don’t know what to do right now, but what I do know is I don’t want to leave you or any of this without trying to figure something out. You have to try for your soul mate, right?” She pressed her lips together into a straight line. “Cause I’m pretty sure you’re mine. After everything, you’re still the person I see as mine. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same or don’t feel this is something we can fix right now, but...” She trailed off, offering a shaky shrug. She was afraid that anything else would result in her crying all over him, and that currently wasn’t needed.

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

“Oh. Ha.” He didn’t mean the words to come out sarcastically. There was no bitterness or anger behind them. As with before, he was reacting more than anything else, trying desperately to grip to a sort of normalcy that no longer existed. He knew if he could just laugh, or smile, or do anything to diffuse the tension, it would make everything a thousand times better, but he just couldn’t will his body to act in that way. It almost felt a little like an ambush - if he had received any sort of warning, he could have prepared, and it might be better than this, if that was possible. As it stood, he felt a little bit like a raccoon that had been backed into a corner.

Her question washed over him, and he realised he didn’t know the answer. He missed her, like really missed her. But the more she spoke, the deeper the furrows grew between his eyebrows, a frown crossing over his face. He wasn’t a confrontational kind of person. Rocco couldn’t even recall a time where he had been directly involved in an argument. He wasn’t quick to anger, he didn’t make waves where there was no need to do so, but what was coming out of Savannah’s mouth sent a wave of indignation through him. As much as he didn’t want to speak up, he couldn’t help himself. He needed to stand up for his own feelings - if not now, then he never would. “You want me to give you a sign?” he repeated, almost monotone, now. “I don’t even know how to respond to that, Savannah. You left. You left without a word, left me a confusing voicemail from a number I couldn’t contact you on, and then radio silence again. You didn’t give me a chance to ‘just tell you’ how I was feeling. You didn’t give me any signs or warnings or anything like that. And now you show up out of the blue and expect me to know how to feel about any of this?” There was no malice or accusation in his voice, but his frustration was more than obvious. “If you don’t know what this is, you’ve only got yourself to blame. How can you hope and pray that there’s still something there, and then do nothing to actually fix things? What is it you want me to do, Savannah?”

Savannah struggled to keep her eyes on him. There was so much muddled between the lines of everything that had happened to them, and it was mostly being bogged down by resentment and the communications that they should’ve had but didn’t. “Rocco, you told me you felt alone, and when I pretty much pushed away my sister to try and focus on you, that didn’t make things better either. I couldn’t get through to you, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I didn’t know how to even begin to make things better, and whether you could help it or not, you were icing me out. You still are.” Her lips trembled as she failed to hold back any tears, hating the feeling of all of this. This wasn’t getting them anywhere. She was hurt, but deep down in her stomach, there was a twinge eating away at her. She knew that a large part of this was caused because of her action, even if that wasn’t what she ever intended. There wasn’t a single part of her that ever wanted to feel this way, especially not with Rocco. She took in a breath and made herself look at him. Throwing each other’s wrongs back and forth wouldn’t make anything right. Ignoring the biggest part of what got them there wouldn’t, either, so she finally faced it. 

“I’m sorry, Rocco. I truly, deeply am sorry. I deserve it, everything you’re saying right now. I’ve never lost anyone like you have, and I didn’t know how to be there for you in the right way. I really wish I did. I wanted to make it better for you, and I thought just being present was enough, but it wasn’t. I was trying to deal with two awful situations happening to two people I really love, and I wasn’t equipped to. I lost my balance. I didn’t know how to make it better, and everything I tried seemed to make it worse and hurt you more. I couldn’t find the right things to say or do to stop that, so I thought removing myself would help. I should’ve just talked to you, but I was upset and scared and didn’t want to hurt you more than you already were. I’m sorry I went about it the wrong way.” She shook her head softly, not even bothering to wipe at her face. She was simultaneously exhausted and just so, so sad. “I...I don’t know. Maybe just...give me a chance to try and make things right. I don’t really know how, but I want to get there. It doesn’t have to be now or anytime soon, but...please don’t give up on me just yet.”

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

It was definitely a case of be careful what you wish for. He had been praying for something, anything, that would delay him going home alone, but this definitely wasn’t what he had in mind. In fact, he was pretty sure this was the only thing worse than another night on the couch in solitude. It wasn’t that he didn’t still care for her. In fact, it was almost the exact opposite. He loved her, and that was what made it all the worse. It was too much for his tiny little pea brain to comprehend, and as much as he had wanted her to come back to him, he knew now wasn’t the time. Not like this. He couldn’t help but wish, oddly enough, that Lindsey was there. She would know what to say, even if he didn’t.

As much as he wanted to avoid the situation entirely, Rocco didn’t have it in him. It wasn’t in his nature to be rude, even when he was hurting. He hadn’t realised before all of this went down just how capable he was of putting others first, of being the bigger person. If you’d have asked him pre-Miami, he would have said his nature was quite the opposite. But if this shitty situation had taught him anything about himself, it was that. “I just wasn’t looking where I was going,” he said, his voice coming out in a monotone. He was hardly in the jovial, joking mood she was used to, and it seemed she was going for. “But yeah. Crash helmet. Good idea. Sorry for bruising you.” He was reacting to her more than he was actually conversing with her, but he didn’t know what else to do when he was so unsure of what she wanted - at least, he was until her next sentence had him freezing. “No, it’s fine. We can talk.” He started nodding, only stopping when he realised he had been doing so for a few seconds too long, and probably looked crazy. “Did you want to come up? Or do you have somewhere else in mind?” 

“Y-yeah, I know,” she nodded in reply to his statement. “I was just jok-” she was about to say, but she let her voice cut off before she could finish. This wasn’t them. This was so far from them. The fact she couldn’t even gently approach things without it feeling horrible made that clear. Somehow, the idea of just talking now made her want to throw up. Tucker would be dealing with hell once all this was said and done. In almost a direct opposite reaction to him, she started shaking her head. She wasn’t sure if it was just her body on autopilot or a way to try and keep the tears she could feel pooling stuck where they were. 

“Do you even want to?” she asked. Despite the words, her tone wasn’t accusatory at all. It was similar to that in the voicemail she left on tour. “Because if not, could you just please tell me?” With the way she could feel her lower lip trembling, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to answer his question of where to have this chat. Whether they liked it or not, it was about to happen in the middle of the sidewalk. “I know this got all fucked up and it’s not that easy to repair, but I still want everything with you. Despite the distance and the not talking and everything...but that’s where I’m at, and I don’t want to be selfish. If you don’t feel the same, can you just show me a sign or something?” She could barely look at him as he spoke, running her thumbs across her face in a futile attempt to get rid of the tears. “I’ve been hoping and praying to God that there’s something still left between us that can be fixed, but if this is just a one sided thing and I’m humiliating myself right now, just tell me, Rocco. Tell me and I’ll stop calling. I’ll leave you alone for good. I don’t want to do that because it’s still just...God, it’s still you. I just...I want you to be happy. If that happiness doesn’t include me, tell me, Rocco. I won’t be mad. I’m just so tired of not knowing what this is anymore.”

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

The last few months had been jarring, and that was putting it lightly. Since that night in Miami, his life had been in a state of freefall. He had never known he had so much to lose - probably because he had never anticipated losing all of it. Except, that was exactly what had happened, and every time he got to a point where he thought he had gotten through the worst of it, another bolt came out of the blue to knock him back off his feet. It was getting harder and harder to stand up. He’d never been the smartest, most switched on person to begin with, but with everything he was going through, he wasn’t sure if there was anybody alive who wouldn’t feel mixed up if they were in his shoes, regardless of their intelligence. 

He’d spent the day at Piper’s, and as glad as he was for her reappearance, as much as he had been hoping she would come back, this new, not-so-much improved version of her was so far removed from what he expected that it felt completely wrong. Still, he hung around. They needed each other, even if she would never admit it out loud. Maybe if he kept it up, it would start to feel more like where they’d been before, even if the rest of the world continued to turn. 

Rocco wasn’t exactly in a hurry to get home. The apartment was far too quiet for one. Caesar popped in and out from time to time, as Caesar did, but was never around enough to make his presence known. At least that never changed. The closer he got, the slower he walked, looking for anything to slow down his progress. His eyes were glued to the sidewalk, carefully studying the cracks in the concrete and manoeuvring around them. It was a game he used to play as a kid, and right now, it felt just as important as it had back then. Or at least, it did until something collided with him, sending him stumbling a little to the side, foot finally landing on one of the many cracks. 

He glanced up, looking to see the source of the collision. The second his eyes landed on her, he felt the colour draining from his face. Savannah. They’d been pretty much no-contact for a long time, apart from the one, weird voicemail she had sent him from a weird-looking number. He wasn’t sure where things had gone so wrong with them, but the fact it had gone so sour was still something that cut him deep. He wasn’t ready to see her again - but obviously, he hardly had a choice in that when she was stood right in front of him. 

“Um,” he began, eloquently. “I was just…” he raised his arm to point at his building, then trailed off and dropped it again, still struggling to find the right words to say to her. In the end, he settled just for the one. “Hi.” 

Savannah starred at him, giant eyes never straying away from his face. She wasn’t Einstein, but she’d be stupid to not recognize the pain etched into his features. She felt like they were there for her as well. She shouldn’t have been surprised that she ran into him outside on some random sidewalk. It seemed like that was becoming their thing, the most unremarkable blocks of pavement making them who they were. 

“Hi,” she replied, her voice discernable but definitely not at regular Savannah volume. “I, uh, I think if you’ve looking for a tackle, you should warn a girl next time. I’ll steal Tucker’s football helmet or something, cause that collision there? Neither of us will be NFL players with those moves. Probably gonna leave a nasty bruise and everything,” she said, attempting to lighten the mood in some way. It was almost impossible, though, the air between them like a thick fog. She knew this wasn’t just something that could be fixed with a joke or hug or ‘I’m sorry.’ Band-aid solutions weren’t going to work. Whatever reminisce of a grin she tried to work up fell away fast. “So, look, I, um...I’m sure I’m the last person you want to see. Totally get that. If you want me to go, just...say the word, I’ll find an Uber or a tractor or whatever. I just...I don’t like this, and I don’t know how, but I thought maybe we could talk and try to fix it...or something.”

[savannahxlandry]

“Tuck?”

“Hmm?”

“I thought we were going to the movies,” Savannah questioned, raising a brow towards her brother as he pulled up against the curb. Without thinking much of it, she automatically opened her door and stepped out, glancing around and wondering if he’d gone a block too far. Tucker was usually good with directions. Considering it was a different city, it was always possible to get things confused. He was more a physical map than a GPA person. It could’ve happened to the best of them. 

“Oh! Well, I’m going to the movies,” Tucker insinuated, the grin on his face showing that he wasn’t done his thought. “But you? You’re gonna talk to your boyfriend.”

“What?!”

“I’ll bring you back some popcorn, promise. Large size with gallons of butter and er’thang.” He leaned over from the drivers side just to yank Savannah’s door shut and lock it.

Sav rushed up to the window, pounding with her fist as Tucker just smirked and watched. “Tucker! What the hell?! Let me back in!”

She watched in horror as he reached over, turning up the radio’s volume knob and blasting whatever Chesney or Aldean or Brooks song was on.

“If this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny!” she attempted to shout over the music. “Open the damn door!”

“Y’all have fun now!” she managed to lip read from him as he gunned the engine and took off down the street.

“Tucker!” she shouted one more time, flipping him off as a final retaliation, although it didn’t do much. She turned around with a huff, realizing that the asshole had dropped her right across the street from Rocco’s apartment complex. That was one way to tell someone they were tired of listening to your long winded relationship problem rants. 

Savannah crossed her arms over her chest, starring at the building as if it were about to come alive and eat her. Of course she wanted to try and patch things up with Rocco, she just didn’t know how. The super vulnerable voicemail she’d left from Europe didn’t help things much, either. Knowing that he might’ve heard it made her want to vomit, but so did knowing that he could’ve just seen her name and deleted it without listening. It was a lose-lose situation. She didn’t have to do this, not right now. Not with Tucker forcing it upon her.

“This is stupid,” she muttered to herself, suddenly feeling like a creep for just standing there and lurking. It couldn’t be that hard to find a main street and request an Uber home, right? With that, she yanked out her phone and started walking, punching at the screen instead of watching her step. That was her biggest mistake. Just as she got to her app, she bumped into something hard.

“Jesus!” she let out, watching her cell go falling to the pavement. “Ah, that’s fantastic,” she groaned, bending over to grab it and survey the damage. There didn’t seem to be anything major, so she shoved it into her pocket with a sigh. Her expression of annoyance turned into one of a deer in the headlights when she looked up and realized it was a who she walked into, not a what. “Rocco.” @roccoxstone​

[savannahxlandry]

hang ups.

aka Sav feeling all the shitty feels on the last legs of the tour with Teddy’s band

The fact that they still had payphones said everything about the dumpy motel the band had managed to book. Savannah zipped her coat up close to her neck, staring at the box and debating if this was even worth it. She already knew he wouldn’t answer the phone, especially not if some random, European number came up on the call display. It was more a matter of if it was wasting her breath. If anything was salvageable at that point. She wasn’t sure, but still. 

With a shaky sigh, she picked up the phone, slipped a few coins into the machine and punched in the number. As she assumed, no answer. She got the dorky voicemail message that made her heart sink in her chest upon hearing his voice. 

“Rocco,” she let out almost breathlessly, silent for a few beats before she spoke up. “It’s, uh, it’s me. It’s Savannah. I know this is a weird number, I’m, um, in Europe, with Teddy’s band. You might know that, you might not, but, uh...yeah.” She licked her lips, finding this so much more difficult than anticipated. Her knuckles were white around the metal chord she gripped.

“I, um...I don’t really know what the right thing to say is here, but, um, tonight, I was with the band, and one of the guys, he, um...he did this stupid thing where he tucked my hair behind my ear, and I don’t think I’ve recoiled that fast from anything in my life. It was like scurrying from a gator coming out of a creek speed. But, uh, I think the reason I did that, though, was, um, cause it reminded me so much of something you would’ve done if you were here, and I just...” 

Her breath was shuttered as she trailed off but forced herself to continued. She was so focused on getting the words out that she was almost blind to the fact that warm tears were welling in her eyes. “I don’t know what happened to us, Rocco. I mean, I do know, but I wish it didn’t. That was never supposed to be us, you know? You and me, we’re supposed to have a Disney movie happy ending. Things just got so screwed up along the way, and maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we thought or how to be that perfect person that either one of us needed. I’m still not a perfect person by any means, and I don’t think I’ll ever be, but I just...I miss you.” She sniffled, feeling tears sliding between where the phone touched her cheek. “There are so many things I wish I could’ve done different, baby. See, I don’t even know if you feel the same as I do right now. All I know is that you...you’re it for me, Rocco. Nobody’s ever made me feel as special as you, and I’ve never had that in my life. I don’t want there to be anybody else that does that. You came in like this giant ray of sunshine, but now I don’t have that anymore, and it hurts.” She had to hold the receiver away from her face for a moment, not wanting his machine picking up the sobs that were threatening to come out despite being clearly evident in her voice now. “This...I’m sorry. This was stupid. I’m sorry, I’m so stupid. I’m...fuck. Sorry.” She slammed the receiver down before burying her face in her hands and letting the sobs escape. 

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

As soon as she stepped away, Rocco let his arms drop limply to his side. He wasn’t sure what had brought about this shift in his emotions. It was easy to just be the normal, easy-going Rocco up until this point, but that never could have lasted forever. He was stretched to his limit, and inexplicably angry that nobody had noticed that. Seeing tears roll down Savannah’s cheeks, and hearing her tell him that she was there now, should have soothed him. It didn’t, though. It felt way too much like appeasing her own conscience, like her current support came from trying to make things right with herself rather than actually helping him through this. That feeling only grew the more she spoke. “My mom died, Savannah,” his words were blunt, but he didn’t miss the way he voice cracked when he said it. “Do you really need to be a mind reader to know that I might have needed a bit of concern before I had to spell it out for you? I’m sorry that me being upset about that isn’t getting us anywhere, but…” he faltered, then. He wasn’t sure there was a but to this. If there was, he had ran out of steam to say it. At her question, he blinked, brows furrowing. He couldn’t help it, but he actually laughed. It was all so unbelievable to him that they were even having this conversation. “I tell you that I’ve been feeling alone, and your response is to ask to break up? I - wow, Just wow.” The anger he was feeling only intensified. He turned away from her, taking a few steps towards the edge of the room. Once there, he drew his foot back, before swinging it forward and kicking the wall with a loud thud. The plaster cracked and crumbled under the force, collapsing in on itself to leave a hole in the wall. It was satisfying, in a way. Keeping his back to her, he cleared his throat to speak again. “If you’re going to make this all about you, I think I should go.” 

Savannah didn’t have the words to describe the feeling that poured out of her now. but it wasn’t pleasant. She could picture it, like a thick, black concrete that was suffocating her. Her heart thumped loud enough that she could practically hear the echo in her ears. The last time she’d ever gotten anywhere remotely this low with Rocco was in Miami. This was worse. This was so much worse. She would’ve rather gone through a million Miami’s than this. For someone who talked as much as she did, she didn’t have anything left to say. Even the laugh from his end had her flinching but remaining silent. “I-I didn’t mean-” she managed to get out before falling silent again. Apparently, she’d said enough, especially when what was only meant to try and help or bring clarity seemed to hurt him more. His ‘wow’s might as well have been ‘fuck you’s from how much they stung. She followed him with her gaze, squeezing her eyes shut upon his foot making impact with the wall. How the hell did they manage to get here of all places? A shuttered breath came out once he finally spoke. She wasn’t sure what she expected. She wasn’t naive enough to believe that everything between them would always be sunshine and rainbows, but this was far from what she envisioned. “Rocco,” she said, the sobs evident in her voice before trailing off. It was never her intention to make anything about her, but apparently that’s exactly what was happening. What else was left to say? He didn’t want her there. That was the clearest point he’d made in the entire conversation. She exhaled shakily, looking around for her purse. Once she had it and slung the strap over her shoulder, she stopped to let out a weak “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t even sure if it was discernible. The sobs she tried to hold back had completely taken over her voice. Instead of sticking around and letting it get worse, she collected herself as best she could and showed herself out the door.

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

He didn’t take any satisfaction in the way her face drop. Hurting Savannah definitely wasn’t on Rocco’s to-do list, but it seemed like that was what was happening here. He winced a little bit. It made everything even more uncomfortable than it already was. “Sav,” he said, gently, though he trailed off when he realised there was nothing else to say. Seeing her cry kick-started something else in him, the side that could, and had been, shoving his own to one side. It was one of the reasons, he supposed, that he hadn’t really spoken about his mom yet. That, and he wasn’t sure how, or what, to say about it. “It’s not…” he began, shaking his head almost manically. “It’s not that you’re a bad girlfriend. She’s family, I get it.” It was one of the rare times he wished he was more like his siblings. Piper was so in touch with her emotions she would surely have no problem voicing how she was feeling, and Caesar was always ready for confrontation. He wouldn’t have let it get to this point at all. Rocco had neither of those traits. Usually, he was grateful for that, but right now, it was a definite disadvantage, leaving him stumbling over his words like an idiot. The fact that Savannah was speaking rather than him made it easier to say nothing, and nod along to her words, but there was something about it that bugged him a little. He wasn’t sure why, but the fact that she cried made it seem even less like his feelings were a priority. It was illogical, given that everything she was voicing was support for him, but he couldn’t help the way he felt. He couldn’t even bring himself to tell her that he loved her back, and when she wrapped her arms around him, he hesitated for a beat before returning her embrace. “S’okay,” he mumbled. He stil couldn’t quite form the words to respond to her properly. “I guess I just thought it didn’t need to be said. It’s my own fault.” 

Despite feeling him hug her back, something in Savannah went cold. Call it intuition or whatever, but something wasn’t right, and she knew it from the moment her arms went around him. The Rocco she was used to? This wasn’t him. Her Rocco would’ve hugged her back instantly or at least acknowledged what she was saying. She awkwardly pulled back from him and wiped her face with her sleeve. She didn’t know how to fully make sense of it, but she actually felt like she’d just been rejected. That gross, deep knot in her stomach tightened, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Rocco,” she started off quietly, struggling to look at him now. “It’s no one’s fault, I just...I can’t help you or be there for you if you don’t let me. I’m trying, I really am, but...I’m not a mind reader, and this doesn’t feel like it’s getting us anywhere. I am sorry for everything. I’m sorry about your mom and that I didn’t do enough before, but I don’t know what else I can do now.” Her arms crossed tighter, and she tucked a piece of her own hair behind her ear. The tears continued rolling down her face but didn’t try and stop them. She was hurt, and frankly, she had every right to be. “If it’s not me being a bad girlfriend, then what is it, exactly? Do you want to break up?” she suggested, unable to mask the way her voice cracked upon bringing that up. “Do you want me leave you alone to grieve? Something else? Just tell me. Please.”

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

The look Rocco shot Savannah wasn’t the norm. Usually, he looked at her with adoration, or with a goofy smile on his face. Now, his expression showed only disbelief, irritation, and a little bit of hurt. It was like she had totally forgotten that there was other stuff going on besides Whitney’s poor choices. “I get that,” he was exasperated now, any hope that this could be resolved civilly rapidly fading. “But my heart is broken too, Savannah. Might have only been broken the once, but it was a deep once.” He had tried not to drag her in to what was going on with his family, but he supposed he had expected more from her. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, since he had tried not to let on that he needed her in the first place - but wasn’t it obvious that he needed someone? It wasn’t like they spent a lot of time apart. She knew he had been facing this largely alone. “I just… I don’t know, Savannah.” He ran a hand through his hair, breaking eye contact to stare out of the window. “I guess I thought I could count on you to be there for me. But you’re too busy being there for Whitney, and I’m by myself. I know its selfish. You don’t have to tell me that. I just didn’t think I’d be all alone here.” 

If there was a way to stop Savannah cold in her tracks, it was with what he said. My heart is broken, too. Of course it was. Her face fell with the realization of that. How could she think that Rocco’s request was stupid when it was really her who was the stupid one all along? “Oh my God,” she softly muttered, finally having his perspective hit and hit hard. She looked down to her feet, the feeling of warm tears starting to pool in her eyes. If it was her mom that’d passed away and Rocco had spent his time dealing with Piper’s relationship drama, she’d be livid. It finally made sense now. Whitney’s issues were hard. There wasn’t any disputing that. They weren’t dealing with the loss of the woman who gave them life, though. Whitney’s loss could be replaced. Rocco’s couldn’t, not ever. “It’s not,” she managed to get out, finally looking back up at him and feeling the tears roll down her cheeks. “You’re not selfish, baby. I’m just a really terrible girlfriend,” she said, the final words coming out only a bit louder than a whisper. She took a few steps closer towards him, gently taking his hand in hers. “Rocco, I...I’m so, so sorry that I ever make you feel for a second like you were alone. I never wanted that. I love you so much,” she paused, taking a moment to try and compose herself. There was no easing the way her voice squeaked as she spoke now. Her and Whitney must’ve gotten the tornado of emotions from their dad’s side of the family. “And I just wish you would’ve told me how you were feeling earlier. I knew, but I...I didn’t know. But I’m here, okay? I’m always here for you. I’m sorry it took me so long to be here, but I am. I promise.” Not waiting for a response from his end, she reached over and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispered, placing a kiss against his cheek before resuming the hug. 

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

“No,” Rocco shook his head quickly. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. Savannah had not done anything wrong, per se. It wasn’t her fault that he felt the way that he did. It wasn’t her fault his mother had died. “No, no. Don’t be silly.” The smile on his face was almost manic. She hadn’t done anything, but he supposed he just expected more. He didn’t think that he would be facing his mom’s death essentially alone. Not in a million years. If not his siblings, he always assumed the Starks would be there. Now Savannah was in his life, he thought that she would be there. But Savannah was preoccupied with Whitney, and Rocco was stuck trying to support her through that, trying to help her help her sister, when he was dangerously close to the edge himself. He didn’t know how to put that into words, though, and wasn’t sure she’d take it the right way if he even could. “I suppose,” he began, wrinkling his face up thoughtfully. “It’s not that she isn’t welcome here. She is. I just… I don’t really have the energy for it, you know? Whitney and her boy and… well all of it. It’s just not the time right now.” 

Savannah’s eyes narrowed slightly. She would be a real idiot if she wasn’t able to tell that something was up. Rocco was never awkward with her, nor was he the type to skirt around issues. From the way he blatantly defended Lindsey in Miami, that made it clear. This version of him, though? The one who seemingly struggled to really say what was on his mind? She didn’t know what to make of it. “Rocco,” she sighed, licking her lips as she considered her next approach. There was no easy way around it. “Look, I’ll tell her to chill out if that’s what’s going to make this better, but I’m still a million miles away here. I mean, you don’t have the energy for what, exactly?” she asked with a shake of her head. She knew she was probably being harsh, but she really didn’t understand the issue. “‘Cause the last time I checked, I’m the one who’s been supporting her through all this. You’re not the one she’s crying to, and you’re certainly not the one who’s heart is being continually broken by some idiot guy. You’re here, but it’s not a problem she’s putting on you. If it’s really such a bother, then...I don’t know,” she shook her head once more, the words ‘maybe I should leave’ flashing through her mind. She wasn’t going to say that, though. Things were already weird, and she didn’t want to make them worse. “I just don’t know what you expect me to do, especially when it’s family of all things.”

[savannahxlandry]

roccoxstone​:

Rocco managed a weak smile, though he was sure that it was far from convincing. “I’m not scared,” he said, stepping into the room and slipping an arm around Savannah’s waist. He didn’t want this to be an argument. In Miami, things had been weird, and that particular spat had only been resolved because bigger problems had cropped up. Unfortunately for Rocco, something had cropped up for Whitney, too. It wasn’t like he wanted to drag Savannah into the mess that was going on with his family right now - but it would have been nice to feel like he could lean on her. None of his siblings were anywhere to be seen. He supposed there was Lindsey and David, but given what had happened in Miami, he wasn’t sure where the five of them stood with each other. Piper’s actions had made things far weirder than he ever would have expected. “I get that,” he scratched his throat, trying to be reasonable about all of this. “Maybe you could meet at her place?” He suggested. The mention of his siblings had him moving uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I mean, I don’t really know where Piper is, and Caesar… well, he’s not here either,” he pointed out. “So I guess… that’s exactly what I’m telling you.” 

“I’d hope not, she’s like a bunny rabbit,” she smirked, although the smirk didn’t stick around for long. Something in Rocco’s expression was off. She’d known from the tiff in Miami that there was a different side to him when something was bothersome, and she was feeling an intuition towards the similarities. She blinked, nodding slowly as she thought about his request. It had never come up before, and she didn’t see any problems with letting her sister in, but that obviously wasn’t how he felt. If he had to ask Savannah to be the one to go visit her, it seemed that there was more to it than just being cramped in the apartment. “Okay...” she stated, eyes searching his curiously. That feeling of their Miami fight was creeping in again. She didn’t want to argue or anything, though, so she tried to approach him in a more gentle manner. “Um...did...did I do something, Rocco?” she asked. “Cause I just...I don’t know, there was never an issue with her here before. Or at least, I didn’t think there was. I’m just wondering why now? Like...did I say or do something wrong? After all this time...why is my sister not welcome here now?”

[roccoxstone]

@savannahxlandry​

“Is she gone?” Rocco poked his head around his bedroom door. He wasn’t normally this rude. In fact, he prided himself on the fact that he wasn’t rude by nature. He was laid back, easy to get along with. Just not right now. He couldn’t put into words what it felt like in his head right now. His mom was gone, and it had been so long since anybody had heard from Piper that it was causing a gnawing knot of anxiety that he could never quite push away. Savannah’s sister was nice enough, but she clearly had her own shit to deal with, and had no qualms about dragging Savannah into things. She had burst in with tears in her eyes, something to do with her ex and his ex, as far as he could tell. Rocco had to leave the room. He just didn’t have the energy right now. He shuffled from one foot to the other, clearly holding back something he needed to say. “Um… don’t take this the wrong way, but do you think you can tell her to call before she drops by next time? I kind of thought it would be just us tonight.” 

[savannahxlandry]

Savannah let out a heavy sigh once she shut the door behind Whitney. Whit was her sister and her best friend, and she was so happy to have it that way, but it didn’t mean things with weren’t exhausting. Lately, it’d been a whole different level of tiring. She was fully invested with this newest development. If Savannah disliked Woody, Travis was slowly but surely inching his way down to that level as well. Having sex in a public bathroom was one thing, but doing it while your ex was there, offering no real explanation then leaving? It was all sorts of fucked up. She wasn’t sure how Whitney had managed to land herself into another soap opera of a relationship. She raised a brow upon hearing Rocco’s question, a small smile perking up on her lips. “Yes, sweetie, the scary lady is gone. You can come out of hiding,” she teased. Rocco had been so patient and he had no idea how much she appreciated that, but it was obvious the patience wasn’t as strong as it used to be. The grin she wore faltered a bit towards the next comment, offering a small shrug. “Yeah, I suppose, but...you know she’s my sister, right? It’s always been me and her. She’s been going through a lot, and I...I don’t know. She doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to about all this. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same for Piper or Caesar.”

[savannahxlandry]

whitlandry​:

She had no response for the comment about their mother - mostly because it was true. For Whitney, this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Peggy Landry could be strict, but Whitney had always looked up to her. What was frustrating, however, was that she was sure that Savannah was using it as an insult. “Why are you so cynical?” She demanded, arms crossing across her chest. “If you’re determined to be a bitter old cat lady, Savannah, you’re goin’ the right way about it. I wonder how that boy of yours would feel if he realised you had such a low opinion of him.” Her lips pursed together. At the heart of it, she could totally see Savannah’s point of view. Travis had hurt her over and over, and she had forgiven him every time. Her sister would never understand why, and even if Whitney had the words to explain it, it was clear that Savannah would never truly know. She was almost grateful to see her stomp out of the room, but her relief was short-lived, as she had returned in seconds. “Savannah!” Whitney’s shock was written all over her face. She didn’t do well with confrontation, never had, and this whole conversation had her wanted to take off. “Why are you bein’ like this, Sav? Why are you determined to ruin everything?” 

There was a line between Savannah remaining as civil as possible and preparing to rip Whitney’s head off. The moment her sister brought up Rocco was the moment that she was shoved to the later side of the line. “Don’t you ever compare your choices to mine, Whitney. Don’t you dare,” she suddenly snapped, finger jutting out and pointing in her face. “Rocco is the first real, good thing I’ve had in as long as I can remember. He’s the first guy that actually wanted me and wasn’t just using me as a a stepping stone to you. The only low opinion I have is towards the losers you keep choosing, and frankly, you’re working your way onto that low opinion list, too.” Her hands raked through her own hair, not able to convey her frustration in a better manner at that point. “I don’t ruin everything, Whitney, you do!” she practically shrieked. “You bring it on yourself. You put yourself in these situations over and over! You fall for the biggest cockroaches of men, create this ‘he’s my Prince Charming’ fantasy in your mind and blame yourself when it doesn’t work out, because it never does. You can’t turn a frog into a prince, Whitney, you just can’t, and I’m not going to coddle you about it any longer.” She shook her head, knowing that her words were harsh. Unfortunately, it was the only way to go at it. Whitney wouldn’t hear her any other way. “I’ve watched you cry buckets because of the things they’ve done. My boyfriend’s mom had just died while we were in Miami, but instead of being there for him, I was there for you. I was dealing with the mess Travis created, and after all that, you’re just willing to go in for another round to have him tear you to pieces all over again? I can’t even begin to wrap my ahead around that one, how you could be so insensitive. But you know what? I’m done.” She threw her hands up, as if to fully admit defeat. “You go on right ahead back to that boy. But when he hurts you again, which he will, I’m not picking up the phone. I’m not rushing over to be with you. I am not going to care about you if you can’t care for yourself.”

[savannahxlandry]

whitlandry​:

Whitney’s face fell, and for a moment, she could only stare at Savannah. She had expected concern, at the most, but not this from her. Regardless of her choices, Savanna has always been her biggest supporter. The fact she was now saying that she couldn’t, not even wouldn’t, allow Whitney this was honestly a little startling. “Don’t be vulgar, Savannah,” she chastised her, folding her arms across her chest. “It’s not like that. We talked about things. Really talked about them. And that was before we slept together. It wasn’t because of the sex.” Her eyes narrowed, her cheeks burning a deep red at her sister’s words. It wasn’t just the shock. Whitney was hurt, too, that Savannah wasn’t being more supportive like she so often was. “He’s sorry. For everything. Miami and that girl. He apologised for everything. And I love him, Sav.” She hadn’t said that to anybody but Travis, but the truth of it was obvious. She wouldn’t have been so broken up if she wasn’t in love with him. Wouldn’t still be pining after months. Yet here she was, stubbornly defending him to the person who knew her best.

Savannah physically cringed in response to Whitney’s words. “You sound so much like mom, it’s actually kind of sickening,” she hissed, not appreciating being talked down to. Vulgar was the only way to stir a real reaction from her, one that wasn’t from this fairy tale state of mind she’d settled in to. “Newsflash, Whitney, he’s a guy! It’s always because of the sex. You can lie to yourself all you want about it, but I’m not buying it. I’m not buying any bullshit he’s spewing out here.” Her eyes were practically bugging out of her head at this point, and she froze at the word love. She blinked, starring at her wordlessly for a good fifteen seconds before walking right out of the room. She was going to leave it at that and let her be. Stupid is as stupid does. She couldn’t, though. That red-head temper she’d developed from her mom’s side came back with raging vengeance, and she stormed back into the room just as quick as she’d walked out. “You are being so damn stupid, Whitney Lou, and it’s a real shame. You’re letting this idiot brainwash you because he, what, said sorry? Is good in bed? Like those things a proper fix for all the heartache he put you through? I thought you were better than this, but I suppose I was wrong.”