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writing blog of commanderscody

[commanderscody]

longshot. charger. bronco… echo. the three naval officers they had meant to rescue. left unburied and free to the reign of the elements of harsh lola sayu. left seemingly unmourned , there is a not a moment to spare to grieve for their fallen brothers, for the mission takes precedence as always no matter how much the cost may drain them. pressing forward beyond the losses and not a moment of thought for the fallen troops, not a mournful word parting either skaywalker’s or kenobi’s lips in genuine sorrow.

it is very much a rarity that jedi view the losses that are not … intertwined with them.

‘i’ll remember them, cody… longshot, bronco , charger … and even echo and the others who i didn’t know well . they were my friends. ’ ruri is the one to utter solemn words and she comes to cody as even piell’s body is welcomed into the molten gold that is the lava on this wretched world. she says it solemnly to him, fingers clinging nervously to the lava bitten tunic. he forces back a shaken, grief laden sigh before coming to stand closer to her.

’ they are … were good brothers. never forgotten by us. 'his voice is nearly a rasp when he breaks the silence between them, the image of their deaths still fresh in his mind. they will forever be fresh to him, each and every fallen brother. even if they are never gifted moments of mourning or even recognition upon the battlefield — the very place where they sacrifice everything that they possessed. and all for what? the question that has come to long haunt cody lately , a question for which he possesses no answer.

’ i wanted to stop for them, you know… but master kenobi said we had to keep moving forward. ’ ruri peers down at her feet , fingers still clasping her all too big robes ( from the first day as a padawan , cody has known her to be a tiny little thing . not meant for this war . like his brothers . )

’ there is a mission we need to complete, after all. ’

’ but they deserve to be remembered properly . it’s not fair that master piell is the one that’s mourned the most. ’ ruri tips her chin up at him , golden pantoran eyes dark with both determination and grief. ruri is a timid and gentle girl and it was most unlike her to make an argument much less raise her voice even briefly . ’ our friends and our brothers … just as important as anyone else .

cody will always mourn and remember his brothers . that much is absolute . but with each and every passing moment does he realize how much they are truly valued in the eyes of those that command them.

’ … yes. ’ he finds that his voice is lost in a storm of grief and realization that his brothers will always pass on as tragedies left unspoken of. only granted recognition by those that truly knew them, though they deserved for all to recognize what they have sacrificed. gently does he run a hand over the lavender head, an assurancfe for both her and himself .

he won’t allow his brothers to go forgotton or unmourned witout a word again.

[prettyrex]

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[savecody]

gree finds the child among his men, an expression of terror upon her face, clinging to the first hand that she has found. a little zabraki girl ( he has known the species for long enough to have recognition of even the children ), tears bright and blue in those wide dark eyes. of all their brothers she has chosen the hand of jazz, and his expression is no longer clouded by the exhausted grumpiness that has become quite common for him. ' i don't understand a word that she says but she's clearly upset. '

her eyes old only fear, the tears only an indication of a lost childhood. her dress is torn and it has long been covered by dirt that gree suspects that her dress was not the color brown it first appears to be. a classic case of a child of war — a bitter and terrible thing that has plagued all of the planets they have fought upon.

where is the republic for these lost and orphaned children once the planets have been won? gree wonders, now in a kneeling position to greet the girl ( he's picked up a few greetings here and there in the zabraki language ).

' my mommy's gone and my daddy's gone. i can't find my brother. ' the words are a stream and the only words that gree can understand as the girl continues to blabber on ( though it is to herself mainly, as if there is an attempt to comfort herself )

her string of loose sentences only confirm the assumption that was now a natural, heartbreaking occurrence.

' mirell will understand the child. ' simply gree says, offering his hand to the girl.

though gree wears his armor, face shielded behind helmet and visor and all, the girl appears to be comfortable resting against his chest, all too slender arms wrapped around his neck. though communication between the two is quite lacking, the girl easily had found a certain comfort in the eyes of the clone commander, a trust he suspected that did not come easily to her ( from the effects of the war taking away those she had loved. the journey is of no great difficulty, though it is long and foreboding, as gree treks through the districts that separate the barracks from the civilian apartments that mirell has taken up residence in. gree only hopes that he has the ability to help the girl, a terrified and lost orphan who managed to find herself nearly in the downtrodden districts of coruscant, and gree finds it a disgrace not another soul had provided a single kindness in providing help.

the republic sure loved it's war but did not care for the aftermath. and certainly not the victims.

' her horns are among the smallest i've seen.' mirell's brown, slender fingers entangle themselves in the fluffiness of the child's hair as she sleeps an exhausted sleep in the comfort of a bed. gree bites his lip, recalling that mirell has mentioned that at times the horns of zabraks will not grow due to trauma and emotional distress. ' much too small for her age as well. ' the disapproval of mirell is one of embittered grief ( and it is by far from the first time he has seen a member of his species suffer ).

' she's an orphan you suppose? ' there has not been a chance for conversation yet, as she had been placed in the bed upon mirell's immediate insistence.

' it's not such an uncommon thing in this war. ' mirell sighs and it is a heavy sigh filled with grief from years of tragedy and violence. it takes not a moment for mirell to collapse against gree, his dark head contrasting greatly with the stark white and forest green armor. ' but a tragedy nonetheless. '

' what do you think will happen to her? ' gree is a clone, he is not meant to care for small children ( or so that is what the regulations inform the clones of theri duties ). there is little hope for her return to her homeworld wherever that is, quite doubtful in his mind that there is remaining family, and would she even survive the cruel orphanage system that fox has told him about? his arms sling around mirell, their bodies meshed together in warm, if brief, comfort, as they see the tragedy before them. ' she has nowehere left to go. '

poor girl. another victim that will merely pass in the shadows largely ignored by the republic.

' we'll give her a home. '

gree part his mouth in formation of a response to the usage of we but the thought is disregarded and he nods an agreement. whatever the risks may be, he cannot allow this child to go without knowing safety and love.

[savecody]

' it's a frost flower! ' cody and his brothers are standing to brave the icy chillness of the snowy planet of carlac, though their attention is quickly drawn by the keen observation of ruri. there has already been a handful of complaints among the men and not to mention they're all so exhausted from the seemingly endless campaign across the icy hills. though ruri manages to hold good company,with the appearance of no bother by the cold. her lithe form lightly clothed in dark, fur lined robes for her only protection. ' they grow on my home planet as well. my mother always liked to pick them. ' her explanation is provided as cody approaches the pantoran girl who cradles a shining sapphire colored and diamond shaped flower.

at the very least she still manages her positivity in this mess of a campaign.' i didn't realize that icy planets could grow such beautiful plants. ' cody muses though his expression of interest is barred by the helmet specially designed for the harshest of climates. it is with genuine interest that he says those words, though all he could have thought of was the warmth of the interior of a republic command ship in the moments before ( though the warmth of happiness within the girl's bright golden eyes had briefly provided a similar feeling of happiness ).

' they're actually very rare to find but my mother always knew where to look. she's a florist after all. '

' a florist? ' for all of his knowledge of war and of military strategy, cody knows very little of terms of the life of a civilian ( really, a tragedy in itself ).

' she arranges flowers and sometimes she sells them. ' she explains before she gifts the flower to cody, its shocking bright blue clashing with the black color of his glove. ' or so that's what she did before i was brought to the order. ' ruri has made it to seem that she cares little of the fact, but cody has come to read the young padawan quite well.

' it reminds you of her doesn't it? ' cody is quiet in his assumption but in his judgement of her expression he knows he is correct.

' master kenobi says that i shouldn't have any attachments, but i still miss my family. ' it is moments such as this one that cody is reminded that ruri is merely child, a young girl stripped away from her home. ( much like him even if he has not recognition of the fact yet ).

' it is only natural for you to miss your family, kid. ' a hand rests upon her shoulder in the briefest gestures of comfort and he is nearly drawn into pulling her into a hug though he will not risk the trouble that she would undoubtedly receive from her master. ' trust me, i know. '

' you have someone that you miss a lot? ' she questions, her large eyes blinking with both curiosity and empathy, quite reminiscent of her status as a padawan. ' if you don't mind me asking, of course.'

' 'course not, ruri. ' there is a soft chuckle and he ruffles her hair in affection. ' sunbeam was his name, the batch brother of rex and i. ' cody is now in remembrance of the middle brother and there is a certain gratefulness that his expression is hid behind his helmet. ' a good man he was, died saving our other brothers. '

' oh i'm so sorry. ' ruri peers down at her boots with sudden interest, regret pinching her heart.

' but i continue on lviing for him and my brothers, i fight to protect them. it's what he would have wanted. '

' he would have been proud of you, i'm sure. ' ruri glances from the trodden snow up into the orange gold painted helmet of cody.

' just like your mother would be proud of you as well. ' he beats a hand against his heart. ' they might not be with us physically, but they're always with us here in our hearts. '

[commanderscody]

’ who do you suppose the new general will be? ’ the question forms from dispassionate origins, enveloped by a certain dullness that is a scarce characteristic to be found within sunbeam. his curls spun from gold are in a golden cloud of a mess, and the dark lavender under his eyes are an effect of lack of sleep. he yet possesses a new scar, a deep dark line that stains his skin from his temple to near his lip — whose origins are in no doubt from a lightsaber. he is not to be confused for a broken man, far from the particular reality, but rather he is a man that has been humbled by disappointment. another disappointment for another day, in proof that he and his brothers are truly worth nothing to those they serve.

i have to be honest with you, sunbeam… but i dearly hope that you do not earn yourself another skywalker. ’ comments cody with all the dryness of a typical soldier, his caustic expression speaking of all the times of the war. ’ he risked you and our brothers’ lives and he paid the price. ’ with little necessity to mention the countless lives of their brothers lost because of worthless risks.

needless to say there is little mourning among the troops for a jedi whose main concerns laid with his ego and accomplishments.

’ much better him lost than you, my brother. ’ the hand of rex rests upon the shoulder of sunbeam, calloused and burnt from a war that utilizes slaves as a means of fighting ( a republic that calls for the end of slavery is an irony in itself ). if the three brothers were to express their honesty — their lack of emotion for the general skywalker stems from his lack of respect of their dignity and their very lives. and even more so without a single period of mourning for even one of their own brothers — those who were the true fighters of the war, that died and shed their blood while the jedi clung to their hypocritical beliefs of peace and justice. ’ you bring a great more value to this effort than he ever did. ’

’ why are we even acting as if this is a surprise? ’ cody asks a rhetorical, bitterly humorous question, furthering his distaste for those in command. ’ he lacked proper strategy and made himself a fool in many battles. ’ cody, as always, is the one to bring attention to the game of war itself — clearly sticking to his reputation as one of the most talented commanders of the gar. ’ it is a surprise that he even lasted that long. ’

’ perhaps my migraines will be less constant now that he isn’t present. ’ sunbeam laughs, though it’s nature is one of cold and humorless, as he cannot ever forget the scene of the all too willing sacrifices of his brothers to the enjoyment of the sadistic ventress. is there expectation to feel an ounce of loss of his general, the once renown anakin skywalker? he shall not ever shed a single emotion towards the man. ’ if there is any jedi rex and i should be assigned to, it is the windu man. in the very least he views us as men. ’

they all laugh at such shoddy standards the wish for themselves.

’ being treated like an equal is your idea of luxury? ’ cody’s tone is sarcastic and caustic, deeply reflective of how little rights these men did possess. ’ in any case, i suppose that would be an improvement. he does better strategy than any of the plans that kenobi gives me.

’ well, let’s drink on it shall we? ’ the finest bottle of alchol to be found among the ranks smuggled from that one senator from naboo whose name cannot be recalled, from sunbeam’s attendance to guard her. ’ to being treated like actual human beings that are deserving of dignity. ’

[savecody]

' that ahsoka woman offered to train her but i took the liberty of turning her down. ' it takes nadriel a good, full hour before she approaches rex with the out-of-the-blue (and certainly unwarranted) offer. she knows rex and she knows her daughter — far enough to not allow a single hint of jedi influence in her household. oh this ahsoka claims not to be a jedi — far from in it in actuality — but she has seen the years of abuse in the darkness of rex's eyes that prevents her from trusting the woman in any sense.

she could never see into the effects that her treatment has left on rex.

rex sits before her, a squirming toddler with wild curls of the palest blonde hair, her dark skin glistening in the dull light, unspoken yet in the conversation. he knows not what to make of his emotions — but he will be damned if he will allow anyone to take his resentment from him. it has been long been since he has viewed any jedi with positive sentiment (ahsoka included among them) — now that republic propaganda and ingrained loyalty has been scrubbed away from his mind.

he can find no cleanliness among the jedi, their hands permanently stained with the blood of his brothers (the brothers they so willingly sacrificed for the pride of winning battles). ahoska is not given a pass for her youthful teenage years — rex has met a far greater amount of teens that have respected he and his brothers as actual, thinking beings... and he cannot count ahsoka among them. no matter how much his republic propaganda fed brain had protested in the beginning of this struggle.

' you don't have to respect them or even forgive them, you know. ' nadriel has never believed in the concept of forgiveness being healthier (and then again this is not her battle to undertake and she encourages rex to take his own path). 'whatever is best in your interests, i will support you in it. '

he believes it is best to keep his child untouched by hands stained by blood of her many uncles... of his brothers.

' the jedi had a nasty way of finding out who was force sensitive. ' simply he does not give a damn of any of his former slaveowner's claims — he won't allow his child to be imprisoned as he had (especially in teachings of jedi hypocrsiy — that would not even apply to other lifeforms). ' ...and so now i'm just interested in keeping my daughter safe from the very people who kept me and my brothers enslaved.

[savecody]

the girl claims to have passed her fourteenth year, but cody wouldn’t give her a day past twelve, and that is being generous. she is a pantoran, her indigo skin distinctive among the members of the 201st, her thick tresses of white hair pulled into an elaborate hairstyle, her golden eyes full of the youthfulness of a child. and of the fear of being a child soldier, risking her life for an order that sends her to her death for its own gains. cody senses the fear within her — tears in her eyes for the fright, with little consolation to be found from the master that is her assignment. cody’s heart breaks when she draws her blade — smooth gold in color (almost reflecting the tragedy in her eyes) and most certainly a color kenobi approves of — with a shaking hand that she cannot quench. it is at this point that his disillusion dwells further than it ever did before. ‘ i will try to protect you. ’ the girl says, barely a statute of 152 centimeters, has not yet experienced a true battle, to a platoon of war torn and battle scarred men. there is not a laugh to be heard — the horror of a child fighting in a senseless battle overcomes them (and it is because of the jedi that they forget they are children themselves, perhaps even younger than her). it is not out of over confidence that she says those words — it stems from her need of the protection of all innocence of life. perhaps she is the first to see the innocence of the men who lay down their lives for a republic that sees them as tools. ‘ but master! ’ cody hears her yell in the coming days (a yell for the injustice, for resistance to a system that is corrupt to its core). ‘ these are men that we are talking about! they have their own thoughts and feelings — and their own will! ’ there is an internal cringe in cody as kenobi shrugs her yells off as a tantrum (much similar to his previous padawan but at least he could wield his lightsaber properly). ‘ they were trained to fight for us, my young padawan. ’ kenobi says in that self-righteous tone that always afflicts cody’s nerves. ‘ you would do well to remember your place. ’ that day ruri (her name — as brief and short as her life) is eerily quiet, but the conflict is evident on her emotional features. a week later they are in the midst of a heated battle and ruri is fighting just to keep up with the constant orders of her master. it appears that she is unable to do anything right — but she is doing her best, a valiant effort that goes unnoticed by her master (but cody is sure to compliment her after the battle — she will need it after kenobi’s harsh criticism). ‘ ruri follow me into here. we must continue the battle if we are to win this planet. ’ the orders are no less condescending in the battle, and cody almost sears that he sees a spark of defiance in her golden eyes. ‘ many of the men are dying and injured master! ’ ruri argues a bitter truth that the jedi cannot to hope to ever see. ‘ i won’t let them die! ’ ‘ they know the cost of the battle and you should know as well. ’ is kenobi even aware that he is speaking to a twelve year old child (cody still does not buy the claim that she is fourteen), who only has first experienced the consequences of war? cody hovers about the young padawan, almost in similarity to a protective parent of a child — and he just knows that kenobi disapproves of the emotional bond that builds between them. ‘ let me tell you what, kid. ’ he says, helmet off so that he can truly see the features of the child that was forced into this war (similar and yet so dissimilar at the same time). ‘ we’ll make it through this battle together. ’ the barest of sparks of confidence is raised in those shining eyes — and cody knows that there is hope for her yet. and yet he returns alone from battle, bitter and exhausted, and yet another name on the list of the many losses (a list that kenobi glosses over without a care in the world). there is no justice for the children in this year.