Memories Not Found

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"They're just feelings, they'll go away."

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Still here..

[i-whiterose]

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

"My God, I am truly in great need of any good that You might send down to me." {Quran - 28:24}

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بقالي كتير أوي ماشتغلتش في الthesis وحاسة بالإحراج من نفسي ومن الدكتور ومن كل الto-read papers.

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Okay but how to tell your friends and family that you lost all your will to live? I’m exhausted and I think it is just a matter of time before I wake up and realize that I don’t want to try anymore.

حقيقي اللي كنت خايفة منه إن الدنيا تبدأ تتصلح حواليا بس مفيش حاجة تتصلح جوايا. مُحبطة أوي من نفسي.

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I thought part of my anxiety is because I’m not used to things working out for me; turns out that things actually do work out for me quite often, this anxiety is just me thinking I don’t deserve this scenario.

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I will never get over how warm you make me feel at my bad days, you will be so attatched to my memory as a warm person. I just want you to know someone out there is so grateful for your kindness even if we aren't as close as we were years ago

This message made my day! I need to know who you are, please☹️❤️❤️❤️

[heavensghost]

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait In Letters.

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من ثلاث سنين كدا كنت قاعدة بشتغل في ستاربكس واكتشفت إني نسيت قلمي الرصاص واتدايقت علشان بحب اsketch بيه، بعدها بحبة كدا بصيت جنبي لقيت قلم حد ناسيه وكانت لحظة سعيدة كدا. المهم إني بدور عالقلم دلوقتي مش لاقياه :(

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❤️

[mema0]

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Since we broke up, I’ve been doing everything I can to prove to myself that my life is bigger than him, than us. I changed my glasses and my phone, I submitted (and aced) my research proposal, started a new job, and adopted a cat. And here I am, four months later, crying ‘cause I miss him and dying to share all these little achievements with him.

I want one last call where we’re eager to hear about each other’s day… one last car ride listening to our favorite songs… one last perfect smile!

Was I a fool to think this would last forever? It seems like I was.

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I’m still mad and hurt. I never thought you’d be the one who breaks my heart and never look back.

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I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man.

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قبل ما أبدأ في الresearch proposal كان فيه أفكار كتير أوي في دماغي مش عارفة أربطهم ببعض ولا لاقية ريفرنس بيربطهم ببعض، لما يأست قررت أlet go حاجات كتير واشتغل على الحاجات الأساسية بس. بعد شوية وقت الأفكار اترتبت لوحدها وكل الحاجات اللي ماكنتش عارفة أجمعها عرفت أربطها بالموضوع بطريقة تبدو منطقية حتى الآن يعني وسعيدة أوي بالموضوع دا. حقيقي الريسيرش هو أكتر حاجة بحس فيها إني لاقية نفسي وإني بعمل حاجة بحبها.

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So today I had a dream that I went to Manchester and stayed in Hilton 😂

والطيارة كان ليها أبواب زي أبواب الترام وحاجة آخر عبث.

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It takes effort to believe that you're actually becoming a better version of yourself...

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