A Self Sabotaging Artist

Hi! Chances are that if anything is posted here, it is going to be a really rough and wont ever actually be finished. Basically what I am trying to achieve with my art is the blend between Mechanical rigidness and Natural smoothness, or something along those lines. Header art by Simon Stålenhag. http://www.simonstalenhag.se/ Go check his stuff out, its fantastic.

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Im so fucking sick of hating everything I draw.

im so fucking sick of drawing for 10 minutes and scrapping it because its not what I want

Im so fucking sick of depression

Fuck everything

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Constantly there. Watching. Thinking. Questioning.

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I want to create

I have so many ideas, so many thoughts, so much stuff I want to draw, endless ideas of landscapes, interesting characters and structures beyond normal. I want to be able to draw anything my mind can dream, but I cant. I can’t draw a box with straight lines. I can’t draw a ball with shadows. I can’t even draw a simple, basic line without hating it, without scraping it and starting over and over until I give up with the thought that I never will be able to do it, it will never be good enough no matter what I do. I fear that my dreams will be just that, dreams, and never anything more. It must be perfect, it must be the best I can do, it has to be at this high expectation that I can’t ever reach. I don’t ever know where to start, what color or even what to do first.

I have so many ideas, but I can’t draw them.

I want to create.

But I can’t.

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spaceships?

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SPACE PEAR SPAGHETTI MONSTER

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A gun painted with a gun brush

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Things

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Thought i’d give colouring a shot.

Didn’t turn out how I wanted but its not that bad

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Robo dude sitting on a rooftop with skyline.

Spent a bit of time on this one, I’m quite happy with the outcome

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Robo dude on a sitting on a rooftop

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Look for flaws and that’s all you’ll find

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Used myself as a reference. Not to fond of this one. Fair to say I’m not doing that again

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Its a robo dude in a robe. Robo Robe Dude... Another one immortalized on the internet forever. Might make some new ones now..

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Just an old sketch I found in an old book of mine, figured id give it a little do over and post it cause why the hell not... Might re do some more and post them..

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Help

How the fuck do I even use tumblr

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HTML and CSS

I would 100% make this page look all nice and cool looking but to be really honest, I really can’t be fucked doing it..

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What even is proof reading..