SAWBONES - SHOWDOWN @sawbones-showdown - Tumblr Blog

and the winner of TUMBLR'S ULTIMATE SAWBONES is...

DOCTOR BARON MARIUS VON RAUM!!!

'twas a rough, tough, final poll, and a long interesting way there, so thank you all, including surprise participants @neitherabaron (!!) and @pepurika (!!!), for coming out to our little bracket!

...when we created this particular torment nexus, we didn't expect to be the ones experiencing torments in it, but with our most precious of blorbos frequently going head to head, we as your local poll-runners certainly did get tormented! thank you also for the torment.

now, while this poll may be over, the fun and/or torment isn't done quite yet! tune in again sometime soon for our next caper, the MARITIME MATCHUPS, wherein we'll determine the finest of fictional naval officers!

#sawbones showdown #marius von raum #the mechanisms #'thank you all for participating and also for causing me such great pain' says guy about to start another round of blorbo-based pain #in all seriousness though this was the coolest of times - it's been grand! faretheewell for now and more shenanigans soonishly!#[as regards the next set of polls - I'll make a post about it once I get the blog underway!]

need-him-pregnant-poll

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 2 POLL 69

TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?

Silco (Arcane)

Dr. Stephen Maturin (The Aubrey-Maturin Series)

Voting ended onMay 14, 2025

PROPAGANDA:

[Silco]

"He was born to be a girldad and forced to be a crime lord and I think Jinx would like a little sister."

[Stephen]

"Making a doctor into a patient has to be something O'Brian had a thing for. Accidents and disease are happening to Stephen Maturin's body constantly, and that's not even counting the time he got tortured by the French.

I think Stephen's wife Diana should knock him up by accident after he assured her there was no risk of him getting pregnant. I think he should have an easy breezy time of it till month seven and then get a dozen unpleasant symptoms at once.

I also think the baby should start out looking more like his best friend than his wife, just to put more strain on their marriage and stress him out. That's fun for me. That's fun for me.

Did you know that his canonical weight is nine stone or one hundred twenty-six pounds? on a man five foot six that's very little. we could fix that with a baby. he would no longer need to worry about being wafted away by stiff breeze or being carried off by a medium-sized owl."

aurpiment

WE HAVE ONE HOUR AND ARE 278 VOTES BEHIND. PULL! PULL!

#hi everyone. your man's in a poll again. won't you vote for him?

heathcliffgirl1847

the effects of my proselytizing. happy pride month everyone

#happy one year to this post. I too am still broken-hearted that stephen lost <- guy who made the poll

butler-battle-bracket

another bracket from those responsible for inflicting @sawbones-showdown and @maritime-matchups on the hapless citizens of tumblr dot com, it's time to get geared up for the

BUTLER BATTLE BRACKET!

this time around, we're calling all fictional butlers, stewards, gentlemen's gentlemen, and all other fellows of this flavor!

this time, we'll set no historical time limit, but do recognize the Vibe we're aiming for here, and act accordingly.

act accordingly in general - please remember that the pollrunner is a human being who will be reading quite nearly everything you write in this form and on these polls as a whole.

as before, keep it to one submission per character, altho' you may submit as many characters as you please!

further questions? ask away, if there's any confusion!

SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN UNTIL JULY 31st, 10PM PACIFIC TIME!

#if you've stuck around on this blog for whatever reason - here's what we'll soon be up to!

maritime-matchups

the thrilling sequel to @sawbones-showdown...

THE MARITIME MATCHUPS!

since we all clearly had a good and fun and non-stressful time watching the doctors fight to death in the pit, let's try it out again with another genre of character that is so very guaranteed to cause no infighting or pain...

and that is the FICTIONAL NAVAL OFFICER!

here are some guidelines about the precise flavor of fellow that I am looking for:

fictional fellows preferred, but you may submit fictionalizations of real naval officers as well. go wild!

we are hunting for organization and structure and gold braid here. privateers, pirates, and other professional boat leaders of non-naval persuasions need not apply, unless they previously held a significant naval position

should operate primarily between the years 1700-1900, or in any setting heavily inspired by these eras

you may submit as many characters as you please, but each one only once, if you would be so kind

questions? ask away, if there’s any confusion!

who should we select to captain the good ship hms tumblrdotcom?

[trusting you all to be normal about this one. please be normal.]

#here's what we're up to now that sawbones is over!

ciska-serkhet

mvr #1 tumblr medical boy

neitherabaron

It’s a real doctorate to me dammit 🥲

#congratulations to DOCTOR marius von raum on his win! wildest of times on tumblr dot com!#[I Never Imagined Fully Two of the Creators of Guys In The Bracket Would Find The Bracket... And Yet...]

I’m just going through all the propaganda for the final despite finding this AFTER the poll closed and knowing who won

well, I do believe we have a very fine compilation of Stephen Maturin and Marius von Raum Greatest Hits assembled here! enjoy!

#ask sawbones #a lot of the point of this poll to me was 'I think people who like weird old medical fellows might enjoy Other weird old medical fellows'#and sort of to introduce new ones the way that one allows cats to sniff one another under a door... and I do believe that was a success!

quick note from your humble pollrunner to say that altho' the poll will close in seven hours, and at that time we shall all be able to tell who won, the actual post about it will not happen until Sometime Later on account of I Am So Busy And Also Incredibly Tired :/

#why yes I did not calculate how this would be scheduled when I started the poll. my dear participants I Am in fact in the torment nexus.

sawbones-showdown

FINAL ROUND: MARIUS VON RAUM vs STEPHEN MATURIN

Dr. Baron Marius von Raum (The Mechanisms)

Stephen Maturin (Aubrey-Maturin Novels)

Voting ended onJun 4, 2023

lovedthestars-toofondly

Stephen Maturin, y'all. STEPHEN MATURIN.

Stephen "so good at drilling people's skulls open he's famous for it" Maturin

Stephen "removed a bullet from his own abdomen" Maturin

Stephen "speaks every language" Maturin

Stephen "wrote the standard work on sailors' health in his time" Maturin

Stephen "extracted a bullet lodged directly next to his best friend's sciatic nerve and it healed up without issue" Maturin

Stephen "helped a desperate gardener dodge the draft" Maturin

Stephen "honestly I don't know why women aren't *more* terrifyingly violent at all times our society treats them awfully" Maturin

Stephen "makes friends with every woman he meets" Maturin

Stephen "carries a pigeon egg-sized diamond uninsured in his pocket for several weeks" Maturin

Stephen "has never lost a duel" Maturin

Stephen "still falls into the water every time he tries to get on a boat" Maturin

Stephen "let 60,000 bees loose in the great cabin once" Maturin

Stephen "there is no weight lost in these [Jack's] posteriors" Maturin

and in addition to being a surgeon so brilliant the Duke of Clarence wanted to hire him (which he DECLINED) he's also a spy and a naturalist and speaks every language and yet he is so unbelievably sad and wet and pathetic

vote Stephen Maturin, y'all

one of the guys of all time

!! VOTE STEPHEN TODAY !!

#propaganda

sawbones-showdown

FINAL ROUND: MARIUS VON RAUM vs STEPHEN MATURIN

Dr. Baron Marius von Raum (The Mechanisms)

Stephen Maturin (Aubrey-Maturin Novels)

Voting ended onJun 4, 2023

neitherabaron

Uh, so this is a thing?? We can turn this around, right?

gunpowderdtim

VOTE MARIUS

freezerfridays

GUYS WE NEED MARIUS TO WIN!! I AM VERY STRANGELY DETERMINED TO DO THIS!! WE ARE SO CLOSE!!

fagcrisis

vote marius i will kiss u on the lips if u do it

alientoastt

marius sweep he psychoanalyzed a teapot and keeps his removed kneecaps neatly labeled and organized

#propaganda

heathcliffgirl1847

the effects of my proselytizing. happy pride month everyone

#op hope you don't mind if we reblog this.#wild to see what goeth on in support of the eminent doctor maturin.

you know why stephen deserves to win. he would not have allowed himself the indignity of being devoured by octokittens. as a naturalist he surely would have befriended them and amassed them as his army

stephen 'creatures as far as the eye can see' maturin!

#ask sawbones

sawbones-showdown

FINAL ROUND: MARIUS VON RAUM vs STEPHEN MATURIN

Dr. Baron Marius von Raum (The Mechanisms)

Stephen Maturin (Aubrey-Maturin Novels)

Voting ended onJun 4, 2023

sea-cove

PROPAGANDA for Dr Stephen Maturin!!! He is wiry, weird, and covered in blood probably as we speak. That's a man who stomped through 22 novels across oceans, amputating limbs and blood letting, drawing little pictures of aphids, chaperoning sloths, and being best darn 19th century physician any dirty scalpel has ever seen. He is the definitive Dr Sawbones and we all owe him the service of a vote. With all my heart!!!

firstofficerrose

The man got himself into a duel of honor, got shot, and then designed surgical instruments to operate on himself (on a boat!). He does brain surgery (on boats! Multiple boats!). He discovers new species of plants and animals all the time! He kills French spies! He'll have long conversations in Latin totally unprompted! He uses a diving bell to walk around underwater! The polymath to end all polymaths!

He's ~*~crazy~*~ (affectionate respectful astonished) and I love him.

#propaganda