Welcome To The Shit Show.

Sometimes I post things that I write here. Enjoy.

[sayspeakup]

“WYD?”

I’m busy

Creating

I’m a Creator

An Artist

I am beautifully

Equipped with

Everything

I need

My body

Nurtures me

I am home

I love it here

Cause

I feel safe

I can’t get enough of it

Drowned

In love

There is

No breath

Too shallow

Immersed in

All of

That

Around Me

Fearlessly

Unapologetic

& Proud —

I was angry

Or, am

Or, always

Will be?

Through it all

I know the value

Of peace

My peace

It’s mine

It’s up to me

So,

I’m busy

[sayspeakup]

“The best for last”

What is this

That I’m feeling

Want to talk

To someone

Don’t know

What to say

I want company and

Want to be

Alone

Even more

Emotions

Passing through —

A stampede

Trampling

My effort

To ignore it

Beating

My focus

To a pulp

I am dust

I am everywhere

& nowhere

The deeper

The pain

The deeper

The love

We’ve always known love first

And it’s what is left last

At the end

[sayspeakup]

Who am I?

Somewhat of

A shapeshifter

I dabble

In every mystery

Of life

Wandering

The abyss

Melting in

High contrast

Somehow

Making me,

Me.

I am everything all in one.

One of billions,

One of one,

All at once.

Balanced & Aligned

With Light & Love

[sayspeakup]

Self-Love Drug

I don’t really know what my problem is or if I even have a problem. All I know is that I know nothing, and I’m afraid. I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want the doubtful part to be right. Maybe I just need to stop daydreaming. Stop with the happily ever afters. Why does that “favor” to myself, crush me? Can you believe I still sometimes think about going back? To dynamics and relationships that didn’t serve me. At least then, there wasn’t much to figure out. There was no change, no growth, no chance. I could count on everything staying the same. Maybe this new lease on life is more than I bargained for. If I could somehow afford this love, I may as well adorn myself in joy and possibility. Drown myself in freedom and opportunity. Suffocate in the endless space I create for myself, to roam aimlessly, to frolic, to leave behind my trail of colorful mess. My existence is an art gallery. One day I will be able to share my story. One day I will not be afraid to be seen for who I am. It will be that day I cry tears of joy, for the unconditional love I have for myself.

[sayspeakup]

[sayspeakup]

For Me

I make my choices

With certainty

I consult with MySelf

& My Spirit

If we don’t see

Eye to Eye

It ain’t for me

& All that means

Is there’s more

That is.

[sayspeakup]

I love it here

Like a creative

Combustion

We ignite

Brightening up space

Extending

Neverendingly

Into foreverness.

[sayspeakup]

Major key

It’s easy

I show up

And the love

Just clings

To me

We’re inseparable

Energy

Incomparable

It is always

New and

Familiar

[sayspeakup]

Art is Creation

Creating moments

Movements

Goals

Creating ways

Creating and navigating

Our Creation

Is artistry

We are Artists.

[sayspeakup]

Maybe

Maybe, I like to watch emotional movies and shows because it breaks me open. Maybe, I just have too much that I need to let out. Maybe, I dont want to admit it to myself. Maybe, I'm not ready to break in order to fix my brokenness. Maybe, I'm in denial. Maybe, I'm scared. Maybe, I'm being ridiculous. Maybe, I can just get over it. Maybe, I just can't do it alone. Maybe, I am alone. Maybe, I just feel alone. Maybe, I just can't do it because I just feel alone. Maybe, it's a lie that you're never alone. Maybe, it's true that you're never alone. I mean, maybe.. I dont know. Maybe, I never will. Maybe, it will all be okay. Maybe, its true what they say. Maybe, I can believe in something. Maybe, I can get through this. Maybe, I can shine again. Maybe, I never stopped shining. Maybe.

[somecoolgirl]

11-19-17

Is this depression?

Or is this a lesson?

When will I know?

Is there an end to the road,

A cross road?

Am I here,

Have I arrived?

I wish it was that easy,

Maybe it is..

Been struggling since birth

To know my worth

Life is suffering

A buffering of self

All over again

So that we may see

We always win

In a race to the finish line,

You may never find it

You gotta move slow

Let the present show itself

So you can witness

The glitch in this matrix

Dont try to fix it,

Embrace it,

Be grateful.

Without it

Who knows where we’d go?

Somewhere down the rabbit hole

There is a stove

That likes to keep the fire on

Triggered by ions of

Oppressed emotion,

Intellect/Intuition confliction,

Inner child neglect,

And lack of self-love & realization.

Damn.

[sayspeakup]

Random shit:

Warmth

Feel it on my skin

But it's coming from inside

Vibrational pools

Warmer than a

Wool sweater

During summer

But it feels so good

[sayspeakup]

Insomnia

Cant sleep

Emotions steep

Eyes watery

Throat clammy

Skin crawling

Heart sinking

Mind wandering

[sayspeakup]

I ain't shit

I wanted this

Loneliness

I let go of my dependents

Now no one needs me

But I need them

I bask in my sorrow

Hoping tomorrow comes soon

The show must go on

But it's so boring

Reruns are no fun

I want something new

But I dont want you

I want me

I want to see what can come out of this

If ignorance is bliss

Wisdom must be what I'm feeling

What a trade off

I take off with my suitcase of emotion

I cant stay to play with you

I gotta go

I gotta know

What is next?

Never ending frenzy

Of searching for myself

In other people

Regal realness

When will I see my reflection?

[sayspeakup]

Waves

Being with myself feels good,

Finally

Everything I have been searching for

Has been right here

In the midst of my perception

My consciousness knows me well,

It is who I am

It is everything

Energy

It comes in many forms,

We experience it

In many ways,

Is that why they call it

A "wave",

To say hi(gh)?

Could it have something to

Do with that,

Pure love vibration?

To be living mindfully,

Or even not,

And to see a kind face,

"Wave-ing" at you,

Yes, you 💜

Let's stay here.

Stand in our love,

& Be Free

[sayspeakup]

Forever & Always

Growth is a process. It is one we all experience both individually and as a collective. Love & nourish yourself, water yourself like you would a bed of flower seeds. It is a process worth being patient with. Abundance is within the moment, any and every, really. I can feel it when I'm mindful of my breathing. I can feel it when I'm creating. I can feel it when I direct my attention to love. If my breath is as abundant as my life, I breathe in abundance with every inhale, and release any ideas of any old limitations with every exhale. I am not only okay, I am divine. With this piece of mind, I am able to see myself as a reflection. I am not alone, ever. I am never lost. I am found in the spaces that I create for myself. Forever & Always.

[sayspeakup]

Hello

Hey. It's nice to be here

Steering clear of

Weirdness,

And fear.

Here,

We love,

& forgive

& live

Freely

And continuously

Our beings are here

But we never die