secret poetry

find me fighting

[teddybearswear]

hi.

i am 5 weeks 3 days pregnant and i need to cover the cost of abortion. i need $535-$600. im in an abusive relationship & already have a child with this man, i need to terminate this pregnancy for my safety and my health and to leave without further strings attached, i cannot have this child and the further along i am the more expensive it gets. i can provide my tests and proof of pregnancy

i know times are hard right now, i am so sorry, but please find it in your heart to donate or reblog this. any cent counts i need to meet my goal as soon as possible. i have absolutely no idea how to raise this amount of money. i am at a loss. cashapp and venmo is preferred

paypal

cashapp

my venmo is @adviser-eleanor w/ the hyphen

thank you so much

[scarabscribes]

Something quick

Stolen by a dream

Seeing only the gleam

There at the seam

Fickle glory

Something gory

Its doing it for me

Lost all underneath

Nothing without you

[scarabscribes]

Pressure

Pushing hard for a dream

Making me wanna scream

Your eyes might make me cream

Beautiful eyes full of sex

Infinitely better than my ex

Pressing till it wrecks

Sensations less than proper

Im hoping i can cop her

Secret window shopper

[barcarole]

Excerpts from Europe: A Prophecy, by William Blake. Only 12 original copies, all printed by Blake, are known to exist.

[hideback]

William Blake (English, 1767-1827)

Songs Of Innocence and Of Experience: Shewing the Two Contrary States of the Human Soul, circa 1789-1794

More William Blake on hideback

[scarabscribes]

Don't Touch Me

All boundaries are broken

And all heros are lost

Attempting to be free

I only wanted to see in you

The salvation that i thought was you

Lost deep within the sea

This sorrow sits within us all

Makes way into the cracks

Shattered by a broken home

Never to come back

[scarabscribes]

Haiku of Envy

Show of dominance

Imitation of the same

Envy is to blame

[scarabscribes]

Disgust

Split in half by a tongue

An endless reminder of sloppiness

My dignity has been flung

Far, far away

Hercules left an awful taste

A memory of sloppiness

Its something that cant be faced

Too close for comfort

Ive been halved for life

[scarabscribes]

Destructive

What are you to me

Naught but a buzzing bee

Itching in my ear

Why do you do it like so?

Taking it blow by blow

Dishing out so severe

Ripping out a piece of my chest

Leaving a cavern filled with unrest

The urge to shear

Why do I do it like so?

Giving into the daily flow

Wishing you werent here

Bleeding it out by laceration

It almost feels like cremation

Purification is near

A freeing leap year

[scarabscribes]

I Feel You

There's so much to say though its stuck in my throat

Aching to leap forth without being choked

Silent screams from within only denote

The earth crushing pain of the destruction I wrote

Pushing onward to see the result

Clinging so tight to my only hope

My heart it slams shut like a deep iron vault

Making me wish I was able to cope

What world will it be that I reach out to you

Pressing closer with a purr or a coo

What will it take to simply accrue

The words that I need to confess its true

Inching inward and begging for trust

Swearing on love for you that i do lust

Tying myself like a balloon to a string

When will it be that I truly sing?

A sonnet for you, a duet for two

Will it be as we dream or just far and few?

You catch my breath, you keep me secure

Many dreams I have dreamt, I will be certain

That these choices run smooth as we open the curtains

[scarabscribes]

Ache

aching softly for the you i though existed

once upon a time i thought i was gifted

becoming naught more than a burden

i thought myself to be softly burning

becoming a shell of a shell

drifting through acres of hell

i peer back at what once quelled

the pain deep within i held

it leers closer it seems

to the safe place i have deemed

my naivety gleamed

for the darkness unredeemed

stopped in my tracks by violation

shattering me up to resignation

losing any destination

questioning my dedication

faked desirability

leading to insecurity

a fatal blow to the subconscious

inviting in all that haunts us

[scarabscribes]

Love Like Trees

my sweet Sycamore

the wretched siren of archaic lore 

my beating heart slithers further ashore

coveting, grasping, yearning for her core                

weary and forlorn, reaching for my opus

begging for her saccharine hocus pocus 

just out of reach, just out of focus     

will she trust enough to reveal           

her archfiend ferocious                    

Daughter of death, I haven't a choice  

vehemently yearning for her seductive voice                                           

drawing me in closer, ever closer         

just a glimpse into her phosphor eyes   

and i become entranced, lost forever    

Love under will, breathed into existence

The work of two stars dancing on pretense                              

Only made possible by strength and persistence                                   

Will this dream carry on with consistence?        

[scarabscribes]

Heresy

My heart is my magnum opus

Leading down to something

Something within to show us

Something lovely, something sweet

It would lift you right off your feet

But when it its over

There will be no hangover

A subtle takeover

It makes its way across my flesh

Thinking of something outside this sesh

We push harder for the truth

Only to find we've become uncouth

Is this what we wanted, or just a fallacy?

No, its not heresy

I just want you with me

[scarabscribes]

Missing Parts

I eat my own heart

The lack of a part

Does it leave me here

Full of naught but fear

You left me stranded

On the isles of your lips

Pushing me further into your hips

Leaving me bursting at the tip

[scarabscribes]

Anger Within

The more we talk the angrier i get

Attempting to listen but ive heard nothing yet

You make an excuse, so simple

But its never sweet

Its been a year since my nervous sweat and im thinking youd be an awful pet

But i still take a breath

And i step towards death

That sickly sweet femininity

It gets lost to my chivalry

A battle yet to be won

I wish you were a son

You sit ahead of me, begging for forgiveness

For crimes you have yet to commit

What do i so except sit?

Just waiting for your fleeting caress

This is the last time

Fake

Fake but you recant

Real but I just cant

Loving you is a farce

Left me fallen on my arse

[scarabscribes]

Save Me

Its like theres nothing there

Being gripped by my hair

They only stare

Please save me

Every day is exactly the same

Boundaries crossed

Feelings bottled

can I go back to the day i came?

I think not

You think youre hot

Pushing past my limits

I feel myself lament it

Your endless touch sings along

It grips my throat

Coming back to me in sleep

May i run from such things?

Just let me go

No one will know

Beliefs long forgotten

They blow away with nothing left

Im lost to the wind

With nothing to send

Only myself

Nothing left