joohyuk.
“ i never thought about it that way. ” joohyuk likes that. it makes him feel a lot better about himself. ( although he strongly doubts he’ll remember it next time. ) “ some people– ” the clave, he means, but he can’t exactly say that out loud. “ some people would argue that can’t be true. because downworlders—especially seelies—aren’t the way they are from anything unnatural. me, on the other hand, well… i shouldn’t exist. not like this, anyway. ” it’s always oh, if only your parents hadn’t let circle members get close to you, then you’d still be good as if he’s not nicer than so-called ‘ pure ’ shadowhunters ( like, say, uh– the person responsible for him turning out like this ? ). as if his parents didn’t work tirelessly to ensure that he’d never turn out like people expected him to. “ it’s just hard, because every slip up i make is because of what i am, not based on any context. if i was perfect, they’d still find flaws, because no matter how good i am, no matter how many demons i kill or people i save, in their eyes i can never be a real shadowhunter. ”
— ✴ “ alternatively, i’ve heard some nephilim who like to argue that anything with demon blood, downworlder or not, is unnatural, ” amarante shrugged. she’d come across a couple here and there in her short life. “ you can’t listen to them. because you’re here. if you weren’t meant to be, you wouldn’t be, ” she grinned. she didn’t trust the clave, or most shadowhunters, if she was honest. and she couldn’t understand not accepting one of their own, when it wasn’t his fault a madman had experimented on him. it just made her more reluctant to trust the nephilim, even with bash in charge of the paris institute. she’d chosen paris as her mundane home because of that, but she still tried to avoid the shadowhunters, usually. “ no one is perfect. they are not perfect, ” amarante sighed. “ you slip up because like everyone else, you exist and you are capable of making mistakes. they should judge you on intention. ” she frowned, “ why stay if they just judge you ? ”
